| Screen Name: |
The Bearded Iris |
| Country: |
United States |
| City: |
Atlanta |
| With whom or what do you wage your biggest battle?: |
Oh definitely my 8 year old daughter, "Mini-Me." She pushes my buttons like no other. Close second? My muffintop. |
| What has been your biggest victory to date?: |
Natural childbirth. |
| What is your perfect night in/out?: |
I'll let you know when it happens. But yes, I suspect "in/out" will be a mitigating factor. |
| What piece of advice would you give to your 20-year-old self?: |
Oh, if only. So many things I would do differently. Wear sunscreen. Save money. Be naked as much as possible before your tits and ass start racing each other for the floor. |
| What piece of advice did you receive in your 20s that you regret not following?: |
Mom? Is that you? How many times do I have to admit it?! You were right about EVERYTHING. But don't worry, my daughter will ignore my advice the same way I ignored yours. Payback's a bitch. |
Hi, I'm Iris, a suburban hostage with excessive facial hair and no sense of decorum. Writing helps me to relieve the tedium of being an invisible vessel for grandchildren and PTA donations. I have a penchant for boxed wine and bathroom humor. I invented the word "vajillion."
You can read more of my twisted tales at my blog,
