This web’s a bit too sticky the third time around.

SPIDER-MAN 3
Directed By: Sam Raimi
Starring: Toby Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace
Releasing: May 4, 2007
Rating: PG-13
Running time: 140 minutes

In writing this review I’m debating on the point of view to base it from: A comic book geek fanboy or a critic perspective. I’ll try to take the latter approach with a bit of the geek thrown in there as well.

There’s way too much to try to summarize on the plot here (I’ll touch on the overload in a bit) so if I ruin anything, fear not because you probably already saw it in the commercials anyways.

Life for Peter Parker (Tobey McGuire) is finally yielding the fame and happiness he much deserves as the world famous webslinging crime fighter friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! He’s happy in his love life with Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) and is planning on popping the big question. His grades are top of the class. All is well until trouble lurks around the corner and I’m not only referring to the plot. MJ is not as satisfied in her relationship with Pete or her life for that matter, and complications and jealousy arise when beautiful Gwen Stacey (Bryce Dallas Howard) shows up as Peter’s lab partner while also being saved and kissed by Spider-Man on live TV. Ouch.

To top that, Flint Marko (Thomas Hayden Church) is an escaped convict on the prowl who happens to plunge into a rather conveniently placed secret molecular dismemberment mechanism filled with sand. When the rather clueless scientists overseeing the apparatus flip the switch with him inside his molecules are broken down into the sand, thus creating the bank robbing Sandman.

Subsequently, Harry Osborne (James Franco) is still rather bitter and holding a grudge against Spidey for supposedly killing his father in the first installment of the trilogy, and has plans of his own for revenge.

At that time, another guy named Eddie Brock (Topher Grace) comes roaming around who in turn also has a beef with Parker as a rival photographer. While this happens, an alien like slime substance called a symbiote falls from the stars and lurks around engulfing its victims entirely, making them stronger physically but changing them into real jerks as well. The symbiote suitably lands next to Spider-Man and takes him over turning both he and Peter to the darkside. While all that goes on a piece of the symbiote also lands on Brock thus creating the infamous Venom.

And I’ll leave that at that with still more to cover if desired.

This chapter had way too much going on as I stated earlier and it shows in the multiple weak plots taking place at one time. Three villains, a possible affair with MJ, and an evil version of Spidey/Goth version of Peter all seem to fall short in their own way because none are given the time and attention to detail needed to make each worth while. The poorly written script added no relief as well. All in all I felt it was more shallow than a kiddie pool.

The humor was surprisingly forced and rather bland compared to the predecessors. Take for instance the random awkward spur the moment “lets bust a move for no apparent reason” dance sessions that broke out periodically throughout the film. Not once, not twice, not three times, but consistently. There’s a touching scene involving Harry and MJ cooking together where Harry attempts to show off his Emeril Lagasse skills when all the sudden they break out in a two step session in the kitchen. There’s another scene where the Goth Peter is at a bar with Gwen Stacey to embarrass MJ, when all the sudden he hops out of his seat and begins pounding the piano while jumping around on tables and such. I swear it’s as if Sam Raimi picked up a copy of Dance Dance Revolution midway through the movie and lost his mind over it. They tried to be funny but I was personally more disturbed. The only scene I found truly hilarious was Bruce Cambell’s cameo which is hands down the best of all three, even though the rumors of him playing Mysterio were false.

Then there’s the Eddie Brock aspect. I think Topher Grace is a great actor and was comical in this role bringing more humor and wit into the arena with his droll sarcasm. He would almost make a great Peter Parker if I dare say with his pithy remarks and cocky one liners. However as the infamous Venom, which was not explored or touched upon nearly as much as it should have been, he didn’t pull it off by a long shot. The real Eddie Brock is an insanely colossal, steroid induced, iron pumping, mentally unstable maniac, not some overly cocky, smooth talking with the ladies, slim, two-bit, pipsqueak photographer. Sam Raimi stated he wasn’t a fan of the villain which clearly shows here and throwing him in at the last second only to pay homage for the fans was more of a slap in the face in my opinion. Although I thought Thomas Hayden Church did well with his few scenes given to him as Sandman, the plot should have scrapped him and played Venom as the main villain done the right way according to the comic book.

Bryce was hot as usual and did well with the little she was given but because the plotline is so unbelievably thin involving her character as Gwen Stacey, Peter’s girlfriend in high school in the comics, she really doesn’t leave a lasting impression by any means, which is a shame since she is a tremendous actress. Such as the Venom concept it felt as if Gwen Stacey was just thrown in the lot carelessly just to create tension between Peter and MJ without any serious thought about her extensive character development.

Oh, and I loved how during the whole final fight construction scene when Sandman and Venom are whomping up on poor Spidey the whole city is just kicking back and watching on CNN without any thought to what will happen if he dies. “Oh no, he appears to be losing. This could be the end of Spider-Man.” Did they think that when all was over they would just pack up their bags and mosey on home? Astounding!

And for crying out loud, who is Harry’s butler? Some guy who was barely known in the first movie, and once again hardly in the second, saves the day in the third? I’m utterly baffled!

There’s so much more I want to rant and rave about but I’ll conclude instead. Moreover there were a few great moments due mainly to the first half but unfortunately they were superseded by excess of flaws for the most part as a whole. The morals were nice and wholesome concerning forgiveness within ourselves and of our offenders. The symbiote concept relating to sickness or in my opinion, sin, in that it consumes and generates evil, obsession and corruption would have been much more impacting if taken further seriously as opposed to silly and campy with the Goth Peter/Evil Spidey concept.

Overall, I’m saddened also in that a good superhero flick has not been made in quite some time now with the silly Fantastic Bore, Superman Returns, Ghost Rider and X3 yielding big poopers the past two years. I never thought I’d say this but Spidey 3 definitely wasn’t worth watching a midnight showing on a work night standing in a six hour line next to Spider-Man himself. But mark my words and your calendars my little hombres, come next year, Bruce Wayne WILL save the day Summer of ‘08 to replace all this silliness and campy nonsense, so help me God.

This gets a generous 2 and a half stars from me.
2.5/5

Official Movie Site: flash.sonypictures.com - spider-man 3