 |
Why is my husband so useless?
by Welcome to another edition of The Regular Guy. This week we are lucky to hear another bit of useless male perspective from our Guest Guy - Glen. Let's see if he is able to shatter our belief that men, well, that they're just not that smart. Take it away, Guest Guy.
Dear Guest Guy,
Why is my husband so useless all the time? I can't trust him to do anything right.
x
Ah, I see exactly what the problem is and it probably dates back to your wedding day.
I'm not sure exactly what it is that happens on a girl's wedding day, but at some point somebody pulls the bride to one side and tells them:
1. Blow Jobs don't actually cure sore throats, or clear your skin.*
2. The secret formula for turning every request into a nag.
3. The fact that your man is an idiot.
(* Obviously this is a joke - of course they do, you probably aren't doing it often enough for it to work.)
It's the last one that causes all the problems. (Although the blow job thing really doesn't help.)
Your husband is not useless at all, he has merely been forced to accept the simple fact that you think he is, and therefore he acts accordingly.
We husbands don't get any bonus points for showing off you know, so why try? All we are guilty of is living up to your expectations of us. To put it bluntly, you are getting exactly what you want. You should be happy.
Let me give you an example of the ‘Wife' effect in action. I am a London Commuter and every single work day I pass through London's Paddington station. I know exactly where I am going and I could confidently direct you to any platform you choose. My wife works a short drive from our home and does not know the station well, although she has been through it a few times.
So why is it then, that when we all went to London last weekend and I attempted to lead our family on what I believed to be the best route to the concourse, my wife crossly asked me where I was going while pushing our children hurriedly in the other direction? The tone and the look said it all. I was clearly lost. Obviously I was an idiot who can't read the signs like her. There was never any point where she considered the possibility that I might know something that she didn't.
This is because I am a husband - and husbands are useless.
So, even though I knew exactly where I was going and much preferred my route over the sign-posted one, I did what any self-respecting husband anywhere in the world would do. I sighed inwardly and followed on behind, meekly letting my wife show me the way.
Wives - it's time you gave up your outdated beliefs that all husbands are rubbish and gave us our spines back. Let us lead the way now and again, let us make the occasional decision like you used to do when we were your boyfriends.
Give it a try today ladies - what could possibly go wrong?
Hope that helps,
The Guy Spot appears sort of regularly on In the Powder Room. Please let The Regular Guy know if you think he is testoste-right or testoste-wrong by commenting below. And if you would like to ask The Regular Guy a question, please send it to Ask The Regular Guy.
Glen also writes at: http://www.glenslife.com/
You May Also Like
Comments (9)
-
Report
Fri Sep 30, 2011 - 1:58 pm
i couldnt say per se that my husband was useless. i learned a lot of things from him (good and bad) but he drifted away and then he became useless. he's at home but he's not with us in spirit just in bodyReply -
Report Fri Sep 30, 2011 - 10:56 amMy husband is not useless in the sense that you describe. I'm horrible with directions and will gladly let him lead the way - I don't recall him ever getting us lost, and I definitely have a knack for getting lost. I can rely on him to know every historical fact and everything going on politically in our country, which is awesome because I just zone out when it comes on the TV. I can also count on him to know exactly what I want for Christmas and remember every important date. What I can't count on him for is house work. When I leave the house at 7am, we normally have an exchange that goes something like this: "Hun, could you please fill up the dishwasher and do a load of laundry while I'm out?" "Sure" Then I come home, usually somewhere between 6 and 10 pm only to find out that he's still sitting on the couch playing his game exactly as he was when I left. Of course he got up long enough to get the baby from his crib, feed him and then move him to the living room (where the toys are) before going back to his game. But for some reason he couldn't take 10 minutes while the baby was napping or eating to do the simplest of household chores. The only way I can get him to do housework is by having an all-out argument about it, at which point he stays up all night and cleans the house from top to bottom. I've always done the major cleaning chores (because he is actually useless at those, he told me when we first moved in together, his sisters and mother agreed, and I saw proof the first time he tried to clean the bathroom) but he always did the dishes after dinner, vacuumed the carpets and did a few loads of laundry. I never had to ask, he just did it because he didn't want me to have to do everything. We've actually had multiple discussions about this, and either we end up arguing and he stays up all night cleaning (as I mentioned before) and then doesn't do anything until our next argument or he keeps up on dishes and laundry for half a week before giving up again.Reply -
Report Thu Sep 22, 2011 - 7:03 pmOh, let's all have a big pity party, why don't we? My life.... Huh! Well, at the risk of being terribly shocking, I know that my husband is brilliant. Those moments when I think he's a total idiot are just the result of family life getting a bit stressful. As we all know, family life is much harder than just being a couple, as it involves not a lot of time to oneself and a fair amount of being tired and grumpy. We just have to slap ourselves around the face occasionally (before we slap each other) and remember how lucky we are. Now everyone kiss and make up.Reply
-
2 replies, Last reply by waving on Fri Sep 23, 2011 at 9:26 am
-
Report Wed Sep 21, 2011 - 10:40 amI HATE it when you talk sense Guest Guy! What, you mean let my husband plan the weekend? Although if that means I can lounge around and not do the usual blue-arsed fly thing, that would be good. Testoste-right...I think.Reply
-
3 replies, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Sep 21, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Enter the word as it appears in the box.