 |
Why is my husband so indecisive?
by Welcome to another edition of The Regular Guy. This week we are lucky to hear another bit of useless male perspective from our Guest Guy - Glen. Let's see if he is able to shatter our belief that men, well, that they're just not that smart. Take it away, Guest Guy.
Dear Guest Guy
Why won't my man make any decisions about the kids? I have to decide everything when it comes to vaccinations, schools, etc. Then I have to nag him, just to get him to take an interest. Help me out here Regular Guy!
x
Oh he is interested, and he has opinions. However, your man is simply lacking a couple of things that would allow him to voice them. Balls. Crystal balls to be precise. Be honest, you don't actually want him to make the decisions that he thinks are right. You want him to make the decisions that you think are right. There is a difference.
Your man is lacking in wife-reading skills, but he will learn in time. Some men master the skill of wife-reading quicker than others, perhaps your man is a little matrimonially dyslexic. You simply need to start making your tells a little more obvious.
Don't just say in your standard nagging voice "Do you think we should refuse the MMR like the Pocklington-Smythes, and just go with separate jabs for little Jasmina?" if you haven't already made loud huffing sounds on this subject, or visibly shaken your head every time the Pocklington-Smythes are mentioned. No, you are going to need to use your best sarcastic voice, and maybe roll your eyes a bit in an incredulous way. This will give him the information he needs to be able to make a perfectly considered decision of his own. In time, he will become more proficient at reading between the lines, so you will be able to drop the eye rolling. Soon he will confidently be declaring opinions about possible school choices which are correct, according to the thorough research that you have previously carried out and decided upon, three months earlier.
Learning to wife-read saved my marriage. Things were getting a little tense until I began looking at the small subliminal notes that were left about the house. Cuttings from magazines about connections between diets and behaviour, or newspapers seemingly folded randomly at articles about naughty steps. I learned. I grew. I stopped making rash decisions or airing foolish opinions of my own, which only ever drew disappointed looks and sighs from my wife. I studied. I watched. Slowly, very slowly, I began to understand that what she needed was a man who could bullishly take charge, while quietly following her orders.
I began confidently suggesting, and implementing, strategies which never worked but failed entirely with my wife's approval, because although they were covertly her own idea, they were overtly mine and hence I could be blamed.
What women really want is a fall guy. This is our role as the man; broad-shouldered can-carrying.
Hang in there and keep training him until he can make cool, manly decisions about which school Jasmina should go to, based entirely on noticing which websites you have been reading and by ringing the schools to find out which one you have already quietly applied for. His decision will be final and entirely accountable should things go wrong.
My book entitled Coping with Matrimonial Dyslexia should be available from all good stockists. It really should.
The Guy Spot appears sort of regularly on In the Powder Room. Please let The Regular Guy know if you think he is testoste-right or testoste-wrong by commenting below. And if you would like to ask The Regular Guy a question, please send it to Ask The Regular Guy.
Glen also writes at: http://www.glenslife.com/
You May Also Like
Comments (13)
-
Report
Wed Sep 28, 2011 - 2:45 pm
Sorry Glen but this is such a load of crap. If men were left to make all the child rearing decisions I'm not so sure you guys would research anything. You would give them whatever the doctor told you to, you would put them in the nearest school so you wouldn't have to drive too far, and I'm pretty sure you guys think Pizza is one of the five food groups. My husband puts more time into researching the football lines, than what homework assignments are due. Men opt out on purpose because they can, simple as that.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Sep 28, 2011 at 4:29 pm
-
Report
Tue Sep 27, 2011 - 6:36 pm
This a tough choice. Quiet desperation versus rolling the dice on reading your wife's signals? Is the latter not a fool's errand for any man who does not have a Mensa-like female I.Q.? Can this actually be learned by your average beer swilling, sofa sitting, snigger-at-any-form-of-toilet-humour man? I for one will continue to sit politely, and more importantly, quietly, when decisions of import are being considered.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by JohnoMori on Wed Sep 28, 2011 at 1:09 pm
-
Report Tue Sep 27, 2011 - 9:03 pmNo offence, but - bollocks! This excuse that wives will always think that what their husbands do won't be good enough so there's no point in even trying just has to stop. We're not fooled. Just bloody get on with it and chip in with the decisions once in a while. (And now my blood pressure's up again!)Reply -
4 replies, Last reply by Mel on Wed Sep 28, 2011 at 10:49 am
-
Report Tue Sep 27, 2011 - 11:26 amI REALLY need a copy of your book Glen! But really? are we really that bad? Why can't the husband just say 'no, I disagree' and then a proper slanging match can ensue? It's healthy!Reply
-
2 replies, Last reply by Mel on Tue Sep 27, 2011 at 11:49 am
Enter the word as it appears in the box.