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How to buy lingerie for your wife
by Dear Regular Guy,
My man bought me some absolutely awful lingerie for my birthday. We have been married for 4 years, how can he possibly think I'd wear something like that?
x
The thing is ladies; underwear shopping is as completely alien to us men as women are. We are completely flummoxed by the staggering array of equipment displayed within the confines of ‘The Sexy Zone', otherwise known as a lingerie department.
When we need underwear we go up to a shelf, pick up the cheapest pack of boxers we can find and head to the counter (Some men prefer Apple Catchers I believe, but they are generally PE Teachers and should, at all costs, be avoided).
Walking into an underwear shop without a chaperone is one of the scariest, humiliating and foreign things a man can do. Being surrounded by nearly naked mannequins and life-sized porn photos of beautiful models makes us sweat a little, our breathing deepens and our blood just doesn't know which head to concentrate on. There's no wonder we get a bit giddy and illogical.
When we are escorted we're okay, because we have a badge of authority that says we are not a pervert, we are allowed to be there. With you directing our visit, we can be shepherded to the correct shelf where absolutely nothing sexy is on display, and then onto the till. The sight of some young, unmarried woman* holding a half cup silken Argent Provocateur bra against her chest doesn't distract us, because you carefully walked us in the other direction.
*Of course she isn't married!
However, when we are in there un-chaperoned, we are left defenceless in a vexed state of semi-arousal mixed with a deepened sense of shame. Yes shame. Because nothing makes you feel a bigger pervert than getting caught nodding approval at the unmarried woman's bra choice.
And then we have to make a choice.
At precisely the point when we are least in a position to make a rational decision.
We have to buy you something which we think will look nice on you. Of course we aren't there to just buy you comfy pants; we aren't there to supply you with your favourite style of grey tummy warmers. No ladies, we are there to get you something special.
And when we look at the photo of the model wearing the shocking red crotchless G-String and corseted leather bodice, we think ‘WOW! That's exactly what my wife will look like in this!'
My advice is to teach your man my failsafe system.
Without looking at anything at all, walk straight up to the nearest lady staff member. Hand her a note with your wife's size details. Ask her to fetch you something nice "FOR MY WIFE." Buy the very first thing she brings back and leave immediately. The only time this goes wrong is if you aren't clear enough when stating that it's for a ‘wife', and she accidentally brings you something for a ‘girlfriend' instead.
Hope that helps,
The Guy Spot appears sort of regularly on In the Powder Room. Please let The Regular Guy know if you think he is testoste-right or testoste-wrong by commenting below. And if you would like to ask The Regular Guy a question, please send it to Ask The Regular Guy.
Glen also writes at: http://www.glenslife.com/
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Comments (8)
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Report Thu Oct 27, 2011 - 11:02 amYou should apply this clothes in general, hubby brought me a very nice dress - and when i popped it on was convincingly "its wonderful darling" - It was clearly designed for an 18 year old clubber and was completely see through! my responce was "ooh fantastic, I will wear it to your works christmas meal then!" to which he gave me the till recipt and just smiled weakly. Undies on the other hand we have always agreed upon one thing, he buys me sockings and tights, never bras and panties. Always worked for us.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Tue Nov 8, 2011 at 5:59 pm
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Tue Oct 25, 2011 - 10:53 pm
I think the note with sizes is the best idea, but when in doubt buy the smaller size. She can always return but if you go bigger, what are you saying exactly, huh, Glen?? No one wants to go down that road.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Oct 26, 2011 at 7:57 am
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Tue Oct 25, 2011 - 3:18 pm
I guess I was pretty lucky. My husband never had any problem buying me lingerie!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Oct 26, 2011 at 7:54 am
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Report Tue Oct 25, 2011 - 11:06 amExcellent and informative article Glen.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Tue Oct 25, 2011 at 12:29 pm
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