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Dating, texting and threesomes
Welcome to another edition of The Regular Guy. This week we are
lucky to hear another bit of useless male perspective from our Guest
Guy - Glen. Let's see if he is able to shatter our belief that men, well, that
they're just not that smart. Take it away, Guest Guy.
Dear Regular Guy,
I had a date last night and it went really well. I'd love to see him again but should I text him first or wait for him to text? How long should I leave it and what should I say? I don't want to scare him off.
x
Now texting wasn't an option after my last ‘first date', back in 1994 so it's possible that I'm about to talk utter crap. Like that's going to stop me!
Texting should have removed all of the angst about post-date calling due to it being so easy and controlled. And yet it still appears to be a bone of contention.
Put simply - the woman should text first, and she should do it the following evening.
The text should say "Wow - I'm so glad I decided to break my rule of ‘no first date sex' with you! Now I know how crap and poorly equipped my one and only ever boyfriend was. Come back tonight, I fancy trying a threesome..."
Well, maybe that's a bit long - how about "Thnx 4 gr8 evnin - u rock!"?
Hmmm, this is tricky.
The point is that men have something that needs a lot of care and attention. It's called an ego and it means we want to decide if it's worth following up on a date.
What we can't handle is being wrong. So we need some hints.
We need you to text and let us know that we won't make an arse of ourselves if we call or text you.
Text too soon and we will feel pressured. Text too late and we will have written you off. About eight thirty the next evening is perfect. By then we have had chance to meet up with our friends, tell them about you and seek peer approval.
At this point if you text, not hassling or declaring love but just saying you enjoyed yourself, this lets us know that we are safe to proceed.
In your text don't suggest a meeting otherwise bunny boiling alarm bells will ring. Simply stroke our ego a bit. Tell us you had fun, or tell us we made you laugh (unless it was when we took our trousers off, as this just won't work).
Once you have done that; stop thinking.
I mean it. The reason you shouldn't think is because we won't be. We'll smile smugly and go back to talking crap with our mates. Without thinking.
The reply might take a while - normal. It might be vague - normal. There is no inner meaning to this - it's simply a lack of thought.
Eventually, an offer of a 2nd date will come. The ball lies in your court now.
So you got what you wanted - and at what price? Some ego pandering?
If you haven't realised that we need this, or if you're outraged at the thought of such nonsense, then let's face it, he probably won't be texting you anyway.
Hope that helps,
Glen also writes at: http://www.glenslife.com/
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Comments (22)
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Mon Aug 29, 2011 - 4:42 am
Good advice!Reply -
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Thu Aug 25, 2011 - 5:47 pm
This is the single best piece of dating advice I have ever seen. Unfortunately for me it's about 20 years too late. But it's not too late for overthinking broads elsewhere. Good on you, Glen!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Thu Aug 25, 2011 at 8:23 pm
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Wed Aug 24, 2011 - 3:53 pm
Had anyone texted me an offer of a 3some when I was dating I think I would have fainted, been too frightened to respond and then spent the rest of my life kicking myself for not taking her up on it. (Not to mention, what if she meant 2 dudes. Or some sort of circus freak)? Am I over thinking this?Reply -
8 replies, Last reply by nannygoats on Thu Aug 25, 2011 at 5:48 pm
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Wed Aug 24, 2011 - 9:32 am
WHY DIDNT I KNOW THIS IN MY TEENS AND TWENTIES!!! As usual Glen, I laughed out loud at this, but secretly stored all the knowledge for use at a later date. I think this advice can be applied to marriage too.I haven't had a 'date night' with my husband for ages, and I usually overthink them.So next time we do, I'm following all these rules (even though we share a house, but that doesn't count)Reply -
5 replies, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Aug 24, 2011 at 9:28 pm
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Wed Aug 24, 2011 - 8:53 pm
The only texts I get from my hubby are along they lines of "hey woman - go get milk"Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Aug 24, 2011 at 9:28 pm
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Wed Aug 24, 2011 - 8:50 am
Phew, thank-goodness I no longer have to date! It's clearly an ego-massaging minefield out there... And I had no idea you guys are so sensitive! All these years I've thought it was just, um, brutish behaviour when really it's timidity? Thank-you for the insight Glen!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Aug 24, 2011 at 11:19 am
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