The Five: Valentine's Day Edition
Ah, young love. Remember those days? Valentine gifts of rose petals, candles, sexy lingerie, and whipped cream in all the right places?
Nah. Neither do we.
Or in the words of one of our favorite bloggers, Kristin of What She Said:
"My first words to my husband this morning were not, 'Happy Valentine's Day, my love!' but rather, 'S'cuse me,' after I farted. Welcome to Valentine's Day after seven years of marriage, folks."
Not to be unromantic, but there really is a special level of comfort and intimacy that develops over time in relationships that survive that initial "breaking in period," much like a favorite pair of slippers. The love is still there, it's just more practical...and smelly.
And on that note, here are our Top Five signs you're SO over sexy Valentine's Day treats:
1. You’d have more use for chocolate body paint on Pancake Day than Valentine’s Day.
2. When your man gives you flowers, you can’t help thinking “What’s he feeling guilty about?”
3. You hope that keeping your socks on with those new crotchless panties isn't a deal-breaker.
4. Massage oil just makes you feel like a well-basted turkey (and OMG think of the sheets!)
5. When your man whispers in your ear “What would you like me to do?” you have to fight the urge to yell “Clean the oven!”