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Don't make me kick your ass
by I am currently in training for a figure competition. As part of my training, I go to a "bootcamp" 3 days a week. The "bootcamp" consists of one solid hour of intense, rigorous exercising.
The other participants in this bootcamp are also athletes; several have competed in various body sculpting competitions and several are gearing up for their first.
The point of the training session is not only to lift and mould our behinds, but also to get to know our fellow team mates. In my own milieu, I am outgoing and chatty. But in a new environment, I tend to be shy.
Like a big girl though, during my first week, between begging my trainers for mercy and wiping the drool from my chin, I made some acquaintances, which I hope will become long lasting friendships ...or at the very least people I can bitch to about how sore my ass muscles are.
So the other day, one of the ladies I've befriended, said to me, "I'd like to introduce you to Pat. Pat competed last March." So I'm all like, "Oh hi Pat! Nice to meet you! So what did you think of the competition?"
I don't know if it's the way I asked the question or even the fact that I asked THAT question, but Pat replied, "The competition was fine. I was so ripped! I was too ripped! Ripped I tell ya!" She turns to the lady who had introduced us and said, "Wasn't I so ripped? Tell her how ripped I was!"
Seriously? Who does that? Who opens up a conversation with "I was so ripped!"?
But I smiled politely...'cause I was a little bit scared she'd kick me in the crotch.
Afterwards I did what most women do. I went home and bitched to my husband about Ripped Girl: "Really? Who does that? I don't even know how I'm supposed to proceed in a conversation when you come at me like that? I hate competitive people. They're so unreasonable." Then I went for a run.
When I came home, my husband said, "Your face is all red! What did you do?" Panting, I replied, "I ran hills for 30 minutes. I went up the hill, back down, and up again. I did it nonstop for 30 minutes."
"Why did you do that?"
"Because you can bet your ass that Miss I'm-so-Fucking-Ripped wasn't out running hills...oh game on Ripped Girl! The game is SO on!"
Walking out of the room, I heard my husband mumble something.
"What did you just say?" I called back. "Did you say something to me?"
"Nope. Didn't say a thing."
"Yes, you did! I heard you say something about being a lunatic...who's a lunatic?"
He didn't answer. Must have meant Ripped Girl.
I find he avoids me right after I work out. Maybe I smell...
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Comments (32)
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Thu Sep 22, 2011 - 4:21 pm
You're gonna be so ripped for that compitition!Reply -
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Mon Sep 19, 2011 - 7:54 pm
I am not running anywhere unless I am being chased by zombie clowns.Reply -
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Mon Sep 19, 2011 - 3:36 pm
Good news - I ran hills for 30 minutes this past Saturday too. Bad news - haven't been able to walk since. And... I am sooooo not ripped.Reply -
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Mon Sep 19, 2011 - 3:13 pm
This was just too funny. Sounds to me like someone's been eatin one too many steroid pills.Reply -
Report Sun Sep 18, 2011 - 10:35 pmHoly cow! I would have ran the other way if that was the first thing a person said to me. Someone was WAY too hyped up about her being ripped!Reply -
Report Sat Sep 17, 2011 - 4:33 pmSounds a little pathetic and insecure if you ask me! love the hill running and I'm sure if someone can't see her ripped abs then she isn't doing them! She is so not worth your time or spit! MeganReply
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Report Sat Sep 17, 2011 - 4:20 pmGirl! Ms. Ripped will be Ms. Shredded when you are done with her. What an egotist! Ugh! I know you can have shy moments, but nobody beats my girl in anything!Reply
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Report Sat Sep 17, 2011 - 3:10 amYou, shy? Oh that is hilarious!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra on Sat Sep 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm
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Report Sat Sep 17, 2011 - 11:48 amSounds like Ripped Girl is out to steal the name 'o your blog. That is WAY too narcissistic to believe. Mind blowing, really. Hey, maybe that's it. She's literally lost her mind.Reply
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Report Sat Sep 17, 2011 - 11:23 amHa! What a crazy psycho! ...Ripped girl, not you! ;) jk! Seriously, that is SO WEIRD! ...I think I'm going to do that. Tell people I was SO RIPPED... they would probably think I met stoned or something...Reply
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Report Sat Sep 17, 2011 - 5:08 amClearly she was intimidated by you... right?Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 8:54 pmOh no she didn't! What a psycho bitch! I hate her too. Also, message me sometime and I'll teach you the Southern art of pretending to be friendly and polite while simultaneously ripping someone's spine out. You get to do this RIGHT TO THEIR FACE! It's really the only way to handle a situation like this.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Felicia on Sat Sep 17, 2011 at 4:13 am
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Report Sat Sep 17, 2011 - 4:12 amWho does Ripped Gal think she is?!?!?! And I would take up Nora's advice. Us southern girls have the being nice and insulting you to your face and making you wish you were 30 feet under all at the same time down to a T. It's an art form.Reply
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Report Sat Sep 17, 2011 - 1:44 amI would have said something like "Too ripped? How's that... did you RIP your suit?" bahahahahahahahahhaha... i always like to say something really obtuse and obnoxious... i think it helps put people at ease... or at least they don't say stupid braggy shit to me again:PReply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 10:56 pmRipped Girl? Dead to me.Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 7:09 pmThat's when you say...Oh, you must have had a nice vacation since then! Looks like we have a lot of work to do! That would have irritated the shit outta me too. And she's the lunatic, not you...no no no not you. Not at all... :/Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 6:57 pmHa! He's afraid you're gonna kick HIM in the crotch! :)Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 6:39 pmThank God you aren't competitive. Love, LolaReply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 1:52 pmRipped Girl was a big lesbian, right? I mean, that would be the only explanation I can think of. m.Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Sandra on Fri Sep 16, 2011 at 6:30 pm
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 4:51 pmI'll tell you exactly what happened...she saw you there and said "Oh crap! I've got competition! " she then said to herself "I gotta rid this chick of her confidence" Watch out for her Sandra, she might go as low as bringing in cupcakes just to mess with you! Next time she boasts about how ripped she is say "hmmmm last week you looked alot more ripped then this week...are ya sick?" then if you really want to kill her say something like "so how do you get rid of all that celulite before a competition?" I know....I'm evil. >:OP Blessings, JoanneReply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 4:40 pmIf you don't have boobs, do you have to compensate with abs?Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 4:28 pmSheesh! How competitive! She really got you going though, didn't she. I think you need to hire her as a personal trainer.Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 3:59 pmI can't believe she'd do that. WHAT.AN.ASS.Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 3:17 pmYou know why she went all freaky like that, right? She was SO jealous of you and just had to point out how great she was to make herself feel better in the presence of awesome (that would be you). Bring it Ripped Girl, Sandra's got a posse behind her!Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 2:44 pmBabe, this woman sounds like an incredible "true" narcissist. What an ass. Don't you ever change and become like those people. Just be yourself. Let your husband mumble. You go girl. I'm behind ya 100%. You rock! Love ya!Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 2:39 pmHaha! I don't get Ripped Girl - I think she was probably high on something.Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 2:37 pmSounds like a gym comedy team.... ...."So Pat, how ripped was she?" "she was soooo ripped.....insert funny body reference here, which I don't know because I "ripped" in my frame of reference means too many Wiser shots.Reply
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Report Fri Sep 16, 2011 - 2:06 pmThis post totally makes me think of this song I heard this morning on the radio. (Yep, I am using the word totally :)) It's something about "I am sexy and I know it" and goes on to say "I work out"....you have to hear it. It's so ridiculous....as are people who are so full of themselves! I would of had to laugh at that lady!!!Reply
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