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Ain't nobody got time for that
In a year of contagious Internet memes such as ERMAHGERD and Grumpy Cat, there is one viral sensation that has stuck with me more than any other. And no, it's not at all related to that sticky mechanical bull my friends dared me to ride at that bachelorette party in 1997.
It's Sweet Brown, the Oklahoma City woman who was interviewed earlier this year after an apartment fire and whose very colorful responses ended up being autotuned into one of the most memorable things I've seen on YouTube all year:
Seriously, I cannot get enough of it.
I mean, she's right. Nobody has time for bronchitis, or putting shoes on when you're trying to escape from an apartment fire that you initially mistook for a barbeque because you were just thirsty for a cold pop in the middle of the night. Duh.
But on a bigger scale, it's got me thinking, there are a lot of odd pairings and extra responsibilities at this time of year that create tons of unnecessary stress for people.
For instance, here we are, knee deep in the Christmas season of Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and all I want to do some days is cut a bitch. Maybe it's just the added pressure of the holidays, or maybe we all lose our minds a little when the days get shorter. Whatever the reason, something has got to give.
Here are some other unholy unions "ain't nobody got time for" this month:
1. Messy classroom painting projects on school picture day
2. Birthday parties for feverish kids
3. Multiple UPS deliveries a day to homes with psychologically disturbed dogs
4. Crazy Hat Day at school during a lice epidemic in the fourth grade
5. Being scheduled for a family portrait while Aunt Flo is in town
6. Pine needles and shag carpet
7. Outdoor nativity scenes and marauding teenagers
8. Kids' recitals with potluck dinners
9. Office Christmas parties and Kamikaze shots
10. Dawn on Christmas morning and hung-over parents
Do you feel me? I could deal with one or the other, but any of those pairs is simply too much. I think Sweet Brown would back me up here. She was living with her bronchitis, and she clearly survived an apartment fire. But BOTH? Oh Lord Jesus, ain't nobody got time for that.
What am I missing? Does this feel like "the most wonderful time of the year," or are you one burnt Christmas cookie away from starring on an episode of Snapped?
Comments (29)
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Report Mon Apr 29, 2013 - 9:41 pmMy niece posted this video on Facebook the last month, it was funny at the beginning but after one minute I stopped the video because it was getting annoying. I was unemployed then and that video make me think about a lot of things, I had a good resume military experience and still could not find a job.Reply
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Report Mon Apr 29, 2013 - 8:12 pmThe YouTube video is very funny, a friend showed it to me at work. He told me that he owes taxes and hes searching for options to pay them, a raise at the workplace would be great. Hopefully we all will or we are going to end up like this woman,Reply
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Report Sat Apr 20, 2013 - 1:34 amMy son is invited at all the classroom painting projects, he finished the University two years ago and has been working as a teacher since then. He is implied in kids and ototoxicity program and a lot of other activities, his talent for painting is well known by every teacher.Reply
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Report Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 10:41 pmHow about a drunk mother-in-law and arguing about where the Christmas celebration will actually take place be it at her house, which is like a museum and the kids have to be watched every second because that thing or the other is worth thousands of dollars and I bought it in Santa Fe or my house which is more than comfortable for all 14 of us (5 of whom are under 5 years old) and no nazi watching need take place. Exhausting! Ended up at my house with the mother in law still drunk and pouting on the couch for most of the 2 hours we were all together. I know it's just two hours of my life but this is 2 hours at the busiest time of year!!!! I really could have used them on the kids teacher gifts! Thanks for the reminder!!!Reply
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3 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Jan 4, 2013 at 9:24 pm
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Report Tue Dec 18, 2012 - 1:56 amDear Lord woman, I needed a laugh today. I had not heard of this one. Thanks!! Apparantly, I didn't have time for her?? Who knows, but thanks!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Jan 4, 2013 at 9:24 pm
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Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 10:36 pm
Sweet Brown is the WOMAN OF THE YEAR! I cannot watch this enough! Thank you for this gift, Leslie!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Sat Dec 15, 2012 at 12:34 am
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Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 7:01 pm
Mothers-in-law and job uncertainty. in one room. together. ugh.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by rootietoot on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 10:39 pm
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Report Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 9:20 pmHoly shit where have I been to not realize this existed?! Hmmm, what magical pairing do I not have time for today? Let's try the seven year old refusing to wear his jacket in 30 degree weather and running late for work because nothing was stopping me from going through drive-thru this morning - not even the screaming 7 year old...and that was before 8am... Who KNOWS what the rest of the day will bring...Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 9:23 pm
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Report Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 9:10 pmI had my own yesterday, which your list alluded to - dog vomit on shag pile. Give me a freakin' break.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 9:22 pm
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Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 7:58 pm
I have watched Sweet Brown so many times that "Ain't nobody got time fo dat" is squarely stuck in my everyday vernacular. Literally. I say it at least once a day and so do my girls (especially after they found that damn remix.)Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 8:02 pm
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Report Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 7:20 pmWhat I love about Sweet Brown is her versatility. Here she relates to Christmas... For me she related to Mother's Day. Seriously- I love that woman!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 8:01 pm
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Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 6:42 pm
I simply can't get enough of this. But I ain't got time to fill out the stupid list of books I read tot he kids AND make sure I remembered to contribute to both of their teachers' gifts. Sheesh.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 7:01 pm
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Fri Dec 14, 2012 - 6:15 pm
I ain't go time to read this! Shag carpet, for real? Just say no to the pot luck dinners, unless actual pot is involved, kidding, just kidding. It is 6:14a.m and I just screamed at the cat - so - yeah - I feel ya.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 7:00 pm
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