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It's strippers and blow when my man's away
My husband travels for business at least one week a month. This month and next happen to fall on back to back weeks with the last week of this month and the first of next.
(Did I totally confuse you with that? It's okay, I'll wait while you re-read it. Good? Okay, let's continue...)
Two whole weeks of husband-less time. I'm not entirely sure what to do with that.
I fantasized about getting the house sparklingly clean without him leaving dirty socks on the floor (seriously, how hard is it to find the damn laundry basket?!) or coffee mugs in the bathroom. But the last time I did that, two days later both the kids got the stomach flu and my pristine house was covered in vomit for the rest of the week.
I considered rediscovering one of my long-lost hobbies which fell by the wayside during my journey to wife and mother, but then I remembered that staying out late and partying like a rock star isn't a hobby and not really something I should be engaging in anymore. "Sorry the house party woke you, children. Go back to sleep now, Mommy's getting a lap dance."
I might have given myself a pedicure if not for the fact that warm weather shoes are on their way out soon anyway, so who gives a crap if I have hobbit feet for the next six months?
Oh hell, who am I kidding? If you'd like to know what I will be doing with my Spring Break-esque freedom spree, I will likely be feeding my kids pb&j sandwiches and smoothies for supper every evening to avoid cleaning my kitchen after cooking.
There's a better than not chance there will be an epic laundry marathon and hours and hours of folding.
And it's a pretty safe bet that I will be cozy on the sofa with a dirty book for a decent number of those evenings-because motherhood and marriage are so glamorous...and I'm a total party animal.
Comments (5)
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Report Sun Oct 14, 2012 - 9:36 pmYou are so wild and glamorous!Reply -
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Sun Oct 14, 2012 - 8:55 pm
So the strippers are characters in the dirty books you're reading and the blow is the backwash from the vacuum cleaner. Thank God.Reply -
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Sat Oct 13, 2012 - 12:33 am
Hey Lerner, Sounds lovely, except for the laundry, and don't forget CROSSFIT! Your inner party animal is sore and you know it. (but it looks sooo good). ;) I saw you on twitter yesterday - hope you are feeling better. And yes I had to read the back to back twice. BTW - you get to do the trick or treating all by yourself. Is that good or bad? I don't have little ones anymore, but it use to be a real pain in the ass.Reply -
Report Fri Oct 12, 2012 - 10:17 pmI know what I'd do, HuluPlus marathon!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri Oct 12, 2012 at 10:28 pm
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