Sep 28
 |
Skinny jeans can suck it
I've been doing CrossFit for almost two months now. If you're not familiar, here's a little video to catch up. It's kinda laid back and low intensity (she says sarcastically).
One of the first changes that happened to my body was I finally had ass and thighs. In fact, when I started training, my coach asked me what I wanted. I said ass and thighs.
"Ass and thighs, comin' up." She wasn't lying. If you could grab my ass right now, you'd know I speak the truth.
I needed new jeans. My bootlylicious awesomeness wouldn't fit into my pre-baby jeans I'd half-starved myself to get into. I'd never been more excited in my life to go buy jeans a size bigger.
At the mall, I was faced with the horror that is today's jeans trends. Who in the hell decided that skinny jeans are a thing that EVERYONE wants to wear?! I mean, fine, if you want to wear them then that's your business. I judge you, and your sensibility, but that's your business.
But why the hell do I have to either wear skinny jeans or buy Mom Jeans from Old Navy??? What the hell happened to all the decent boot-cut, or straight leg jeans?
Oh the humanity!!! I went through the entire fucking mall. The. Entire. Mall. I dragged my son from one store to the next over the course of about an hour and a half. To try on one pair of crackheaded, stupidly cut jeans after another.
Stand-Right-Here-Don't-Touch-Anything-I'll-Only-Be-A-Minute-If-These-Fit-Right-I-Swear-We-Can-Leave. I had to bribe him with Hotdog on a Stick. Seriously, people...me...Queen of Fruits, Veg and Whole Food. I fed my son something called HOTDOG ON A STICK.
So, my questions for you are these:
1. Are you one of these WHACK JOBS perpetuating this trend? If so, can you please cut that shit out?
2. How long does it usually take for these god-awful things to find their way out of mainstream fashion so we can all get back to having decent options?
Comments (34)
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Report Tue May 28, 2013 - 9:32 amI mean, fine, if you want to wear them then that's your business. I judge you, and your sensibility, but that's your business.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by giochi casinò on Wed Jun 19, 2013 at 9:33 am
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1 reply, Last reply by honeyhope on Tue Jun 11, 2013 at 5:45 am
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Report Sat May 25, 2013 - 10:56 amOne of the first changes that happened to my body was I finally had ass and thighs. In fact, when I started training, my coach asked me what I wanted.Reply
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Report Fri May 24, 2013 - 4:05 pmThanks to all the classes i took at Drexel, I am now working in the health education field. I am thinking of getting a graduate degree and was wondering which program i should apply for.Reply
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Report Sun Sep 30, 2012 - 12:35 amAfter several years of wearing skinnies only, i actually bought myself a pair of straight leg jeans the other day - my running calves no longer fit into my skinnies (and the tighs are struggling a bit as well :) I find that skinnies that fit my legs nicely are super huge at the waist and I have a waistless boyish body type so I'm not sure what kind of lollipop bodies most of these jeans are made for.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Craft Beer Hong Kong on Tue May 21, 2013 at 11:41 am
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Report Sun Oct 28, 2012 - 3:43 amare we talking "jeggings" or low-rise jeans, boot cut, straight or otherwise? I have one pair of jeggings. The rest are low cut two boot, several straight and one capri. Not sure if that makes me a whack job. Don't care. Not insulted. Just love em. xoReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Alcohol Workshops on Tue May 21, 2013 at 9:18 am
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Report Thu May 16, 2013 - 12:07 pmI needed new jeans. My bootlylicious awesomeness wouldn't fit into my pre-baby jeans I'd half-starved myself to get into. I'd never been more excited in my life to go buy jeans a size bigger.Reply
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Report Mon May 6, 2013 - 11:36 amEntire. Mall. I dragged my son from one store to the next over the course of about an hour and a half. To try on one pair of crackheaded, stupidly cut jeans after another.Reply
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Report Thu May 2, 2013 - 10:14 amI mean, fine, if you want to wear them then that's your business. I judge you, and your sensibility, but that's your business.Reply
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Report Mon Apr 29, 2013 - 9:31 pmMy girls have to search a lot to find the jeans they like at the Mall, the last pair my youngest daughter bought was exposed to too much sun and lost the color in two weeks. She gave 110$ for them, a famous brand, for that money quality is something she would expect to see.Reply
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Report Tue Apr 23, 2013 - 10:05 amslot machine gratis buy Mom Jeans from Old Navy??? What the hell happened to all the decent boot-cut, or straight leg jeans?Reply
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Report Fri Apr 12, 2013 - 6:51 pmIts pretty funny I guess. I agree with you It's a strange fashion. Keep posting these great articles!;)Reply
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Report Sun Sep 30, 2012 - 9:12 amTry Maurices!! (I love their jeans!)Reply
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Fri Sep 28, 2012 - 6:33 pm
Hey Lerner, First - I fucking hate cross-fit. Know why? Upstairs neighbor does cross-fit. At 4:22a.m. every morning a vigorous stomping shower, followed by strenuous blender blasting breakfast and a gallop down the stairs by 4:41a.m. This past Wednesday, at 4:40a.m., when I opened my patio door and asked him to please be quite, because I am Tired of waking up at 4:22a.m. every morning he acted somewhat taken aback by my request. He 's back at 6:10 every morning to take another vigorous shower and stomp around some more and I guess get ready for work (I don't know, I don't care) and bounds back down the stairs, by exactly 6:45, the motherfucker had the nerve to knock on my door and ask "Are you upset?" - Yeah - I'm cross and fit to be tied and too tired to cuss him out or hit him . But with all the free early morning time I now have perhaps I can research this perplexing jeans situation and maybe start a petition to get everybody to decide on a size, any size and stick with it. My husband can go in any store and get a pair of jeans, in his size. He has a size, it never changes, he doesn't even have to try them on. I miss Levi's. The old school Levi's, and sleep, I miss that too.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by lhewitt on Sat Sep 29, 2012 at 7:55 am
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Report Sat Sep 29, 2012 - 3:26 amThis shit is rediculous! I WANT skinny jeans and can't find them so I buy boot cut and taylor them. I guess this is California vs. Arkansas? I thought all malls had the same thing.Reply
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Report Fri Sep 28, 2012 - 11:25 pmI swear by American Eagle boyfriend cut jeans. No, I don't like shopping there but by George, their jeans fit well. And they're the straight leg boot cut we all love. Eff skinny jeans. Very few people look good in skinny jeans. I kinda envy those that do but whatever.Reply
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Report Fri Sep 28, 2012 - 10:36 pmI have Old Navy jeans and JCPenney has jeans that resemble the old Levi's. I think they changed the number to 505. . . or 515. And that's all I wear. I have a ghetto booty and these hip hugger, low cut, mini teen jeans don't fly for me. . . . Unless I want to match my plumber Earl from the back side. In that case, it's a match!Reply
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Report Fri Sep 28, 2012 - 9:54 pmI have found that JC Penney has some Arizona jeans that are made for "normal" women! Skinny jeans look terrible on everyone!Reply
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Report Fri Sep 28, 2012 - 6:36 pmDo I wear them? Yes...yes I do but only cuz they were like $5 and its the first pair of skinny jeans where my hips didn't resemble the titanic in girth. Anyway, I buy all my jeans at western stores you may want to try places like that OR Levi's outlet stores. They have boot cut, they have curvy cover your new butt and not suck on your ankle jeans. They are the jeans mecca. #JustSayinReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri Sep 28, 2012 at 9:42 pm
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Fri Sep 28, 2012 - 6:58 pm
holy shit. this " I mean, fine, if you want to wear them then that's your business. I judge you, and your sensibility, but that's your business." that is EXACTLY me. I hate skinny jeans, and won't even buy them for Goose, even though I'm certain she could wear them and still look adorable, I let her wear leggings - that's as far as I go though! I've recently found some cute jeans at a (junior??) store in a nearby mall called "Vanity" - dunno if they have any around... also a lover of Levi's (517 bootcut please!) and I'm sure your CrossFit is amazing and all, but I'm still in denial about my post-baby-bod (she IS only 4.5mos after all, and I did spend 6 weeks snuggling her on maternity leave, then about 8 more sitting around in quarantine watching her and stress eating... so ya know. that helped. ha.) in fact yesterday I wore a suit that is usually slightly loose, and upon seeing myself in the mirror my first thought was "overcooked hotdog trying to escape it's casing" but that was followed up with "the girls are filling this out nicely though!" so I've got that going for me?? anyway, congrats on the ass & thighs, and good luck in the search for jeans. :)Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri Sep 28, 2012 at 9:41 pm
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Report Fri Sep 28, 2012 - 8:29 pmOH HELL NO! Never have been able to! Even when I was all muscle in high school. You see I have this thing call a butt! and hips!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri Sep 28, 2012 at 9:39 pm
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Report Fri Sep 28, 2012 - 8:44 pmThank the fuck someone has said it!! I'm tired of coming off as a whiner, but seriously, unless you are a size 4 (which is an 8 in the UK, and I'd be happy to be a US 8) skinny jeans are the work of the devil. Ditto for the mom jeans with pockets on my love handles. Sadly, the other trend I've been seeing is worse - the high waisted, PLEATED tapered jeans. Um hello, 1986, go back where you came from. It's no wider I live in leggings, tunics and tall boots.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri Sep 28, 2012 at 9:39 pm
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