Skinny jeans can suck it
I've been doing CrossFit for almost two months now. If you're not familiar, here's a little video to catch up. It's kinda laid back and low intensity (she says sarcastically).
One of the first changes that happened to my body was I finally had ass and thighs. In fact, when I started training, my coach asked me what I wanted. I said ass and thighs.
"Ass and thighs, comin' up." She wasn't lying. If you could grab my ass right now, you'd know I speak the truth.
I needed new jeans. My bootlylicious awesomeness wouldn't fit into my pre-baby jeans I'd half-starved myself to get into. I'd never been more excited in my life to go buy jeans a size bigger.
At the mall, I was faced with the horror that is today's jeans trends. Who in the hell decided that skinny jeans are a thing that EVERYONE wants to wear?! I mean, fine, if you want to wear them then that's your business. I judge you, and your sensibility, but that's your business.
But why the hell do I have to either wear skinny jeans or buy Mom Jeans from Old Navy??? What the hell happened to all the decent boot-cut, or straight leg jeans?
Oh the humanity!!! I went through the entire fucking mall. The. Entire. Mall. I dragged my son from one store to the next over the course of about an hour and a half. To try on one pair of crackheaded, stupidly cut jeans after another.
Stand-Right-Here-Don't-Touch-Anything-I'll-Only-Be-A-Minute-If-These-Fit-Right-I-Swear-We-Can-Leave. I had to bribe him with Hotdog on a Stick. Seriously, people...me...Queen of Fruits, Veg and Whole Food. I fed my son something called HOTDOG ON A STICK.
So, my questions for you are these:
1. Are you one of these WHACK JOBS perpetuating this trend? If so, can you please cut that shit out?
2. How long does it usually take for these god-awful things to find their way out of mainstream fashion so we can all get back to having decent options?