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In defence of the older man
In exactly four weeks' time I will be committing matrimony for the second time (I may have mentioned this before). My fiancé is older than me by about twelve years, and friends have expressed concern that in the fullness of time I may be left a sad, lonely, and young widow. Would it not be better, they ask, to marry a man closer to my own age?
Given this particular older man's occupation (he's a fireman), he is fit and healthy, and has a general zest for life that means I don't worry about his age at all. But I did get to thinking about the general benefits of hooking up with an older man. And it seems that there are many:
1. First things first, he is unlikely to wander off with a younger model. You are the younger model. Whilst you undoubtedly already look great, he will make you look better just by standing next to him. Though my feminist principles are appalled and disgusted with me, I cannot help being secretly happy about this.
2. Whilst waiting for you (his one true love), he is likely to have had other long term relationships. View these as his apprenticeship in the world of romance. He will have messed up a number of times, sometimes spectacularly badly. Be thankful that he learned these lessons before he got around to you, with whom he can now have a proper grown up relationship. Thank the women who took one for the team and cured him of his drug problem, paid off his overdraft, defeated his commitment phobia and taught him that fart jokes just aren't funny.
3. It is extremely likely that the older man has spent some time living alone. Thus, despite protests you may hear to the contrary, he can cook, he can clean and he knows how to work a washing machine. He may also have done some childcare on his own, and lo, his child is still alive, meaning that he cannot be utterly crap at it. If you do not capitalise on this, you are a fool of previously unmeasured proportions.
4. He is likely to have spent quite some time in a career, and either be at the top of it, or have proved himself as much as he needs to. He will therefore be chilled enough to realise that life is not all about work, and you will not be fielding endless: "I'm so sorry, I got stuck in a meeting" phone calls as yet again you sit fuming in a restaurant, alone.
5. And last, but by no means least, since he is older, any prospective mother-in-law will be too. Oh stop with the sharp intake of breath. You all know you'd give your teeth to be married to an orphan.
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Comments (19)
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Report Thu Feb 23, 2012 - 7:59 pmI have to preface this with the fact that I am fortunate enough to have a terrific mother-in-law, but I completely agree (with a big grin), that until I met my (second) husband, "orphan" was most definitely on my checklist!Reply -
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Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 2:01 pm
You know, I've always had a thing for older guys, and now I know why - cause I'm smart just like you! ;-)Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 9:31 pm
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Report Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 3:38 pmMy husband is 12 years YOUNGER than I am. There are many advantages to that, not the least of which is that Viagra is not yet on his pharmacological list.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 9:30 pm
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Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 3:41 pm
Older, younger, who cares? As long as you're in love.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 9:30 pm
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Report Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 4:07 pmAs someone whose been happily married for almost 20 years to a guy 17 years her senior, this made me laugh out loud!! So true!! Good luck to you!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 9:29 pm
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Report Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 6:28 pmNumber 5 is brilliant and so true! My man is just 4 years older than me so I miss out on the first 4 but number 5 I am down with!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 9:29 pm
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Report Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 9:00 pmEverything u say is true chick! Ur lovely brother in law is eleven years older than me and he still gets people saying I can't believe that's ur wife! It's a great ego boost!!! I think that you two ate perfect for each other it will be a long snd happy marriage!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 9:28 pm
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Report Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 12:44 pmYou had me from the beginning but point 5 had me actively considering going out to look for a (slightly) older model...Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 12:46 pm
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Report Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 9:58 amBloody hell Liz - he's not THAT old! Ahem...Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 10:07 am
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Fri Feb 17, 2012 - 7:15 am
I too am married to someone 12 years older than I am. It's fabulous. It's to be recommended. There are many bonuses - he's less likely to want to trade me in for a 20 year old with implants who drapes herself over a red convertible. He's calmer about "squeamish life things", including but not limited to purchasing either laxatives or tampons for me (a younger man would be repelled at the implications of either object). He's incredibly handy, which is useful both for those curtain rods I need hanging and the fabulous outdoor gazebo I'm hoping for. The downside of not getting for a moment what he's on about in terms of music and TV from his childhood is a minor point. We don't have to relate all the time, right?Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Feb 17, 2012 at 9:38 am
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