Mar 22

Never mind the DON'Ts of fashion

Comments (33) by Anika March 22, 2011 - 7:03 AM

Too thin or too big? Check. Wearing prints not suitable for your frame? Check. Body too natural? Check. Self-esteem properly lowered? Check.

You know what? Let us un-check all of those!

Why should we allow our worth to be defined by standards that we don`t necessarily subscribe too? The pain that comes from trying to change oneself and one's body to fit an external norm is considerable. We are all on a voyage of self-acceptance in life, whatever our shape, size and age. For me part of that voyage is about accepting myself as 'plus-sized' and loving and celebrating my curves. For others it might be dealing with comments about how "real" women have curves, disqualifying slender women from that category. Most people have body issues, and while fashion might be considered merely a superficial part of life, I maintain that it is not only that. Our personal fashion can be a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Our personal fashion can become a measure of our worth. When fashion becomes all about the don`ts, it is anything but superficial.

Let me tell you; I am done adhering to the don`ts of fashion. Instead I am subscribing to the do`s:

Do wear anything you want to. Do embrace your self. Do ignore fashion advice that makes you feel bad. Do make up your own rules. Do feel free!

I have experimented with the do`s of fashion for a while now, and this is what I am happy to report back:

Horizontal stripes on my curvy body? Check! White frills on bottom and black on top? Check! Loud patterns in bold mixes? Check! Working knock-offs? Check! Body all natural? Check! Feeling good about myself? Check! Done hiding? Check! Dressing with a sense of humor about myself? Check! Defining my worth for myself and owning it? CHECK!

Fashion is about being creative, expressing our selves and loving ourselves. If the clothes don`t fit, then they will have to change, not me.  Can I get an Amen?

Let`s love our selves and celebrate our selves, whatever our shape and age.

Let`s DO it!

 

by Anika March 22, 2011 - 7:03 AM

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Comments (33)

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  • Report Sat Jan 19, 2013 - 2:17 pm
    by  Candly
    buyincoins, where you can buy good products from China directly without any shipping fee. There are Computer Accessories, iPod, iPhone Accessories, HDMI Video Cable, Laser Pointer, Card Reader, Headphone, Silicone Case and more Cool Gadgets.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Oct 31, 2012 - 1:03 pm
    Thanks for sharing. i really appreciate it that you shared with us such informative post
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 29, 2011 - 6:18 am
    Brava, Anika! You're beautiful and so is your spirit and so are your do's of fashion. The energy with which you devote yourself to your own originality is quite infectious. How cool is fashion when you truly embrace it and disregard all the "rules"? A big amen from me, as ever!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Mar 24, 2011 - 7:14 pm
    by  Diney
    Amen! I too thought of the wonderful poem about being an old woman and wearing purple, as it is one of the few things that I'm looking forward to with age!! A great big ' sod off' to everyone - I am what I am, etc. I'm not quite at that stage yet, but I will, I will.....
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Gigi_E on Thu Mar 24, 2011 at 7:18 pm
  • Report Thu Mar 24, 2011 - 7:18 pm
    by  Gigi_E
    @Diney: Exactly! Altho the one thing I might draw the line at is actually a purple hat!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Mar 23, 2011 - 5:08 am
    by  Bella Q
    Anika you are so fabulous and inspiring. I love your message and YOU!
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Wed Mar 23, 2011 at 12:42 pm
  • Report Wed Mar 23, 2011 - 12:42 pm
    by  Anika
    @Bella Q: Bella, the feeling is so mutual! Mwuuuuaaaah!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Mar 23, 2011 - 2:12 am
    by  Mode Plus
    This is my new credo, directly quote from Anika: "Do wear anything you want to. Do embrace your self. Do ignore fashion advice that makes you feel bad. Do make up your own rules. Do feel free!" I so often have to repeat something in this order to myself. Not because of the hostility around me (believe me having my weight and body shape isn't always embraced), but because of my own boundaries. On good days, it's so easy. On the bad days, wow, it can be so hard. But once I've crossed that line of loving me, there's no way I'm going back. So let's unite and DO it!! Proud to be 34 full figured fashionista :)
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Wed Mar 23, 2011 at 12:41 pm
  • Report Wed Mar 23, 2011 - 12:41 pm
    by  Anika
    @Mode Plus: Sweet Nefferth, you are amazing, If I can help you remember that I am happier for it. Thank yo s much for sharing, and for your support. Love Anika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 8:32 pm
    Amen! I've been known at as "fashion menace" in my household. I dress the way I feel!
    Reply Delete
  • 5 replies, Last reply by Anika on Wed Mar 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:01 pm
    by  Gigi_E
    @Janie Emaus: I love this post too - it so reminds me of that brilliant poem - When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.. Only thing is...if we want to wear a purple hat with a red top...or dammit showgirl tassles and a pair of flared lederhosen...when we're young. old, fat or thin or whatever...who says we can't? Amen to you Anika!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:48 pm
    by  Anika
    @Gigi_E: Well, now I am touched! Thank you so much, both of you! That is what it is all about to me, being in the NOW. Sending you both big hugs. xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Mar 23, 2011 - 12:21 am
    by  Gigi_E
    @Anika: LOL I am feeling SO warm and fuzzy now I can't tell you - I feel like throwing a dress up in everything party! Thanks x
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Mar 23, 2011 - 12:40 pm
    by  Anika
    @Gigi_E: OOOOO YES please!!!!! I want to give out hugs! Might walk into the street and just start hugging random people and tell them to love themselves hahahh but, that might not go down well, what do you think? Thanks for asking me to contribute, I am loving this. xx
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:49 pm
    by  Anika
    @Janie Emaus: The fashion menace! I love it! Hugs! xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:50 pm
    I adore Anika, and what she stands for. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Wed Mar 23, 2011 at 12:02 am
  • Report Wed Mar 23, 2011 - 12:02 am
    by  Anika
    @sacramento: Oh, the feeling is so mutual my wonderful Sacramento. Mil Besos xxx xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 12:40 pm
    by  Weesha
    Well said Anika! You got me all pepped out now and it's wonderful that you're spreading the message of self worth and throwing away the "rules" that other people have set. Love the post
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Tue Mar 22, 2011 at 11:57 pm
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:57 pm
    by  Anika
    @Weesha: Thank you sweet Lu! I am so glad you feel pepped, you are fab, and I will keep reminding you of that! Big hugs for you! xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 6:14 pm
    by  Mel
    Oh god, I think I must be conformist to the core. I'm a bit of a sucker for advice that tells me that wearing vertical stripes will make me look slimmer and that wide-legged trousers will make my waist look TINY! Not sure I can join your club just yet, but I enjoyed the piece!
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Tue Mar 22, 2011 at 11:56 pm
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:56 pm
    by  Anika
    @Mel: Hi Mel, well I think it is great that you follow rules that make you happy, that is your choice, and I am all for it! I do also like my waist to look tiny, which is why my hips come in handy I find lol. Hugs! xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 6:44 pm
    by  Fashnlvr
    AMEN!! Go girl! I love the way you feel free to dress however pleases you! You ROCK!!! www.fashnlvr.blogspot.com
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Tue Mar 22, 2011 at 11:55 pm
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:55 pm
    by  Anika
    @Fashnlvr: Thank you! I have fought long and hard to be this free, and still sometimes do, but it is so worth it. I am done hiding, so I might as well be me. Hugs! xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 7:13 pm
    You get an almighty "Amen" with bells on from me! Great article!
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Tue Mar 22, 2011 at 11:54 pm
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:54 pm
    by  Anika
    @DrunkMummy: With bells on? Love it! Thanks honey! xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 7:29 pm
    Get inspired by Anika? CHECK! This is such an amazing article. I love your no holds barred attitude about fashion, and the fact that you throw the rules out the window and look beautiful while doing it. You are an inspiration in so many ways, thank you doll!
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Tue Mar 22, 2011 at 11:53 pm
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:53 pm
    by  Anika
    @Beautifully Invisible: Aw, B! Thank you. Yes, I do let it rip, I don`t have time to not. Big hugs for you! xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 7:54 pm
    by  Peabee
    Amen indeed. How you dress is all about your attitude.... accept and like yourself and dress accordingly, not to cover up or disguise. Reject the negatives and dress to suit yourself. That's my take on it anyway, which is possibly why I spend most days looking like Aunt Sally, but with a smile on my face :)
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Anika on Tue Mar 22, 2011 at 11:52 pm
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:52 pm
    by  Anika
    @Peabee: Yes, yes and yes! A sunny Aunt Sally, what`s not to love! Big hugs. xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 5:27 pm
    I love this article, Anika! Great job! And I'm with you on defining your own self-worth and fashion rules (or casting them off). I, for one, believe very strongly in this, especially as a woman, age 38 married twice, who is childless by choice. Like with body shape and fashion, society frowns upon women who choose not to have a child. They think we hate children, which is not the case. They call us selfish, but how is knowing it's too much of a commitment being selfish? I say it's quite the opposite—what about all the women who have kids and relegate them to nannies so their own lives won't be interrupted? Anyway, I love your mantra, and you know I love you. Let's DO IT! ••V•• www.gritandglamour.com @gritandglamour
    Reply Delete
  • 3 replies, Last reply by Anika on Tue Mar 22, 2011 at 11:51 pm
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 10:57 pm
    by  Gigi_E
    @GRIT & GLAMOUR: Dear Grit I was interested to read your comment and totally agree with you on the nanny thing - although there are often financial circumstances that force this. Not to the benefit of the kids or parents it has to be said....I blame the government! Would love you to write something about choosing to be childless - although it's such an odd expressim isn' t it?! Gigi@inthepowderrrom.com
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:50 pm
    by  Anika
    @Gigi_E: Vahni is an amazing writer, Gigi, well spotted! xx
    Reply Delete
  • Report Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 11:51 pm
    by  Anika
    @GRIT & GLAMOUR: Thank you so much for sharing, and I do hear you! Thank you so much for sharing, for your honesty, integrity and warmth. I love you. Go V! xx Anika http://byanika.com @AnikaByAnika
    Reply Delete

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