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Hooters, bazooms, jugs - Oh my!
by Bazongas. Tatas. Melons. Chichis. Years ago, when I worked in the porn industry these words were part of my daily vocabulary. Now, in case you get the wrong idea, I was not in front of the camera, but rather that creative voice behind the box cover blurb.
In order to get a gist of the plot, I would watch each movie until I had a total understanding of the intricate emotions driving the action.
Often times during this work, my husband would come up behind me and do a bit of his own driving, which of course made concentrating on the story almost impossible.
And yes, there were stories to some of these films. Even if they were as simple as: Bored housewife sits by the pool. Horny pool man arrives. Wife takes off her top. Pool man takes out his pole.
But more often than telling the story, I had to entice the viewer by describing the lusty bustyness of the actresses. Hence my knowledge of every conceivable synonym for that ever talked about body part: breasts. The job also became a study in human behavior.
Boobs sell. I discovered that there are more "breast men" in this world than "leg men" or "butt men." This fact led me to the question - Why are men like this in the first place? Breaking down a woman's body into favorite parts sounds like you are talking about a product that can be purchased at your local grocery store.
I rarely hear a woman announce, "Oh, I'm a penis girl." Or "I'm a hairy chest girl." Of course, women do favor different parts of their lover. I always loved arms, strong, muscular arms. But if they didn't come with a good personality and some brains, well, those arms soon lost their sex appeal.
But, back to the boobs. My favorite alternative word is "breasticle." I have no idea why. I suppose it sounds rather sophisticated. Or maybe because it rhymes with testicle. In any event, I actually miss those days of conceiving alluring blurbs and in fact, I haven't even seen any porn in a very long time.
I'm sure the actresses have changed. The ones I watched are now middle aged. Who wants to see that on screen? Get hot and heavy with horny Grandma Maybelle. Her banana boobs will bring you to orgasmic pleasure. Not!
But I wouldn't mind viewing some of those older films. I'll have to read the box covers and see which ones promise a night of orgasmic pleasure.
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Comments (16)
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Wed Nov 30, 2011 - 12:23 pm
I like a nice smooth chest. Large penis (as established http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/me-time/hung-like-a-bull.html) and firm buttocks - *Jason Behr* - I love the word breasticles too. I do have challenges with porn because it's addictive but then so is gambling, drugs, sugar, alcohol and so I put porn in with those categories which I have to think about how I rationalise them. Especially as I have indulged in all of them at some point in my life.Reply -
Report Sat Sep 24, 2011 - 2:26 pmSo the question is Janie, to boob, or not to boob?Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Sat Sep 24, 2011 at 2:58 pm
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Report Thu Sep 22, 2011 - 6:55 amWho knew there was such experience in LARA? And because I go for 'just the facts...Ma'am,' how did you get your job in the porn industry?Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm
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Report Thu Sep 22, 2011 - 6:15 amJanie, I had no idea you had such an exciting career in porn! I suppose the male fondness for breasts would account for all those porn stars' fantastical boob jobs!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 6:17 am
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Report Wed Sep 21, 2011 - 7:51 pmI'm never surprised at the fascination men have for boobs. Children love them, teenagers love them. Hell even I'm fascinated by them. Aren't all women?Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 3:40 am
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Report Wed Sep 21, 2011 - 5:51 pmI am always impressed with where your creative voice takes you, Janie, and I can't help thinking there might be a women's fiction book idea on this time in your life lurking somewhere!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 3:39 am
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Wed Sep 21, 2011 - 4:57 pm
In fact - there is a huge market for porn with the more mature actress - very mature in some cases! I don't see why you think that if a woman favours a part of a mans body then it is ok - because she wants personality too - but you assume that if a man is a leg man, then he won't care about the woman walking on them, so it's out of order? Wrong, we are just the same.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 3:38 am
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Report Wed Sep 21, 2011 - 4:12 pmCreativity comes in many forms, Janie--and I like your description of your creative descriptions!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 3:38 am
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