In The Powder Room

Sep 15

Guys - If You Want to Get Laid, Make Us Laugh

Comments (12) by Mya Greene September 15, 2009 - 6:01 AM

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There is a secret to charming women into bed. A skill to loosening bra straps and inhibitions. A technique which drives normally sensible women to take risks. What is more enduring than a man's rippling six pack? More effective than the tightest set of buns? This secret weapon, if deployed correctly, gives men direct, unimpeded access into the underwear of the female of the species.

A man lucky enough to possess this magical element will find the process of wooing women far less traumatic than his more modestly endowed contemporaries.

It's called a ‘sense of humour.' Never mind hoo-ha stimulation, if you can massage her funny bone in just the right way, she'll be begging you for more.

So, guys. In short, if you want to get laid, make us laugh.

I understand that a ‘sense of humour' is very subjective - and what one person finds funny, another will not. For me, this is perfectly illustrated by the Hugh conundrum.

When it comes to funny men, Hugh Grant and Hugh Laurie are famous for their all round comedic athleticism.

On the surface they are quite similar. Both British, Oxbridge, similar age, full of the quintessentially British traits of self-deprecation/doubt/loathing and a good line in sarcasm and dry wit to cloak all this perceived inadequacy.

But here's the weird thing. I find one of them very amusing. Everything he says makes me smile. The other I find just annoying. Every word that spills from his mouth irks me. And yet, he is a popular female heart throb with a proven record in both hit humour and hot women. But not in my world, Hugh.

Perhaps this will explain:

I have never felt as alone and out of step with the rest of humanity, as when I sat in a darkened cinema in Muswell Hill, North London in the mid-nineties, watching ‘Four Weddings and A Funeral.' As the audience around me dissolved into paroxysms of laughter at every word Grant uttered...I sat in my seat, chewing morosely on popcorn...feeling the jokes whistling around me, but never quite hitting their target. Not for me, anyway.

I realise that I am one of the few women totally immune to the charms of Hugh Grant. Back then, I was reluctant to voice my reservations about his appeal, scared I would be condemned as a reactionary lesbian witch. Swamped by the relentless tide of Hughsteria, I kept quiet and waited for people to see sense.

But of course, they didn't. They loved Hugh Grant then, and they love him now. I just don't ‘get' him. I am cool with the fact that I don't find him pant-wettingly hilarious. In the end, it's all down to brain and booty chemicals. I'm sure that if I ever got to meet the undoubtedly charming Mr Grant, he wouldn't find me in the least bit amusing either.

Given the choice, I would opt for Laurie every time. Although not in his current, morbid ‘House' incarnation. For me, he really excels as Bertie Wooster. I reckon my corset and bloomers would drop fairly rapidly if he were to start working his comic charm on me, Bertie Wooster style, circa 1920s.

‘I say, Mya! What a cracking pair of shins you have there. And a top hole, what? Jeeves, bring in refreshments. Spiffing, whatto! Aunt Agatha is expecting us for afternoon tea at Claridges, but if we hurry there's ample time for a quick game of poker under the eiderdown.'

So, what about you? Is the rest of the female world similarly divided? Hugh do you prefer?

by Mya Greene September 15, 2009 - 6:01 AM

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  Report Thu Oct 1, 2009 - 9:12 pm

  by  Mya Greene

  Hugh Fearnely Whittingstall? Hmmmm - I've heard he can do an amazing thing with sweetbreads! And there's Hugh Jackman, of course, who is tastey. I was watching some Blackadder re-runs the other day, starring Laurie...absolutely priceless. I think I'd better go now, I'm in danger of getting boring. I'm not a stalker, honest....or his mother, or anything...

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  Report Wed Sep 23, 2009 - 3:45 am

  by  Rickie J

  Totally agree re Mr Grant - I thought I was the only one! Having said that, athough he plays the same character (with all those English characteristics you mention) in every film, I really loved About a Boy. Never could be bothered to see anything from 4 Weddings/Notting Hill era

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  Report Wed Sep 23, 2009 - 3:08 am

  by  DrunkMummy

  I don't suppose now is the time to bring Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall of River Cottage into the mix, is it? Alright - I admit, I just fancy his smallholding.

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  Report Wed Sep 23, 2009 - 2:46 am

  by  Selena Templeton

  Ooh, almost forgot to say - totally agree with you, Mya, about a sense of humor (read: MY type of humor) getting me into bed!

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  Report Wed Sep 23, 2009 - 2:43 am

  by  Selena Templeton

  Oh dear, am I the only one who prefers Grant to Laurie? But Hugh Grant of "About a Boy" or "Music & Lyrics", not back in the "Four Weddings" and "Notting Hill" mop o' hair days. Is there anyone else out there who's with me?? :)

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  Report Wed Sep 23, 2009 - 1:15 am

  by  Mel

  But, but, (bewildered look on face), Hugh Grant isn't meant to be funny is he? Isn't he just a stuttering, foppish, posh twat? I didn't realise he was supposed to be funy in 4Weddings. And, (falling to knees in reverence), Hugh Laurie is just gorgeous (but not in Dr House). We dream the same dreams Mya.

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  Report Sun Sep 20, 2009 - 8:15 pm

  by  Lady Macleod

  Absolutely! In my 'motherly advice' talk with my daughter, I told her - never sleep twice with a bad who does not laugh in bed. She, by the by, is a huge Hugh Laurie fan, as am I. Good advice article! I enjoyed it!

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  Report Sat Sep 19, 2009 - 11:54 am

  by  Mya Greene

  It's the Hugh Laurie appreciation society right here! Right now! I am so pleased there are other women who appreciate his charms. I feel validated! My taste in men is not as awful as I thought! Hoorah!! Enough exclaimation marks for now. Mya x

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  Report Thu Sep 17, 2009 - 7:04 pm

  by  Annia Lindsay

  Loved the piece - have to say Mr Laurie has never done it for me. Mr Grant didn't until he got older - then - well possibly. Only trouble I got older too - he just won't catch up.

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  Report Wed Sep 16, 2009 - 4:59 am

  by  Janie Emaus

  No contest here. I love Hugh Laurie. He can examine me anytime.

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  Report Tue Sep 15, 2009 - 10:40 pm

  by  Brit in Bosnia

  Laurie, every time. Without fail. No competition. I like the other one well enough, but Hugh Laurie.. sigh...

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  Report Tue Sep 15, 2009 - 6:44 pm

  by  Toni

  Blimey I have enough trouble trying to decide between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth (like I have the choice) without throwing Hugh Laurie into the mix. I find him fairly hot as "House" but can't help feeling that Bertie Wooster wouldn't have a clue what to do in the hoo-ha arena.

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