Is it OK to cheat if no one finds out?
Scanning the room, my periphery vision spots something that draws my attention. Breathing deeply, I dare to look again, hoping to catch an eyeball of delicious.
Butterflies tickle my insides and I feel my hypothalamus kick into overdrive. My heart quickens. I want to tear my eyes away but I keep staring unabashedly. I know it's wrong. I made a COMMITMENT—but sometimes temptation overrides the senses, stifling your inner angel that tells you to JUST WALK AWAY.
To feel that rush again. To have that euphoric high that nothing else matters at this moment but you and me. That adrenaline kicking in, heart pounding, delirium that comes along with it. I am committed but one time can't hurt, right? There's no one here I recognize. No one will know.
I glance around guiltily—can I actually do this? Oh, God. People will be able to tell. It will be written all over my face. What will I tell my husband if he found out? Deny it? Admit my wrongdoing? Pretend like nothing happened? Ugh. I'm the worst liar but how does one FIGHT urges this strong? People do it all the time. My mind is trying to justify it.
My brain is churning. My stomach is in knots but my heart keeps waging that internal battle. What if? Is it worth it? My brain finally talks some sense into my heart. I can't do it. It takes an unprecedented amount of self-control to walk away. I gather up my willpower and turn around without a single glance back.
Damn you, Chocolate Dipped Cruller. You bastard.
Tracy Winslow is a SAHM trying not to raise a flock of assholes. Besides crafting cocktails with Zoloft, Tracy can be found cursing, crying into her coffee over her stretch marks, Ouija-boarding her deceased metabolism and blogging humorously about her children and life at her blog, Momaical, as well as on Twitter (@Momaical) and Facebook. Tracy is one of the hilarious co-authors of In The Powder Room's best-selling humor anthology "You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth."