Jul 11

Welcome to the School of Fuckwittery

Comments (36) by Suniverse July 11, 2012 - 6:01 AM

OK, I'm not sure if you caught this recently, but I was reading Wonkette, which is where [along with Twitter] I get my news [so I don't die from despair], and I came across this article discussing the shitty, shitty public school situation in Louisiana. It's about how, in Louisiana, A STATE IN AMERICA, they are turning over most of the public education system to private "educators" [quotation marks because they are not educating in any sense of the word, unless it's Idiocracy already, in which case, sure, yes, they educate] who are teaching IN SCIENCE CLASS that the Loch Ness Monster is real.

I'm going to let you absorb that for a minute.

Is your head done exploding?

Now, I know I have thing about book learning and facts and such. I'm predisposed to wanting actual knowledge and stuff when discussing science. I mean, I enjoy reading [some] science fiction, but I know THAT IT IS FICTION. It's not ACTUAL SCIENCE.

If you, personally, want to be willfully stupid, then have at it. I will do my best to avoid you and your mouth-breathing idiocy. However, when you start spreading your disinformation in an attempt to dumb down a captive [impressionable] audience, then we have problems, motherfucker. Serious, serious problems.

I can't imagine ANY scenario where feeding a SCHOOL FULL OF CHILDREN a passel of lies is a good idea. How are you going to compete on a global level with people who can parse fact from ideology? Hell, how are you going to compete with each other to turn on God's Electrical Machine when it gets dark outside?

I try, very hard, to pretend that things have been worse and they will get better. But it's so fucking hard. What is wrong with America? Seriously. What is happening? Because do you remember earlier this year - the year 2012 - when a school district in Georgia had math story problems - MATH STORY PROBLEMS - where third graders were supposed to figure out how many beatings per week Frederick Douglass would receive if his master beat him twice per week. [Hint: This is an abomination, so fuck trying to answer, children.] Who thinks of this? AND THEN PUTS IT OUT THERE? FOR CHILDREN?

I think the worst part of this is that now our collective American shame has traversed the globe, as this most recent fuckery was [written about in a paper] in SCOTLAND. Yes! Our humiliation has gone global.

by Suniverse July 11, 2012 - 6:01 AM

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Comments (36)

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  • Report Sat Jul 14, 2012 - 9:45 pm
    by  julie gardner
    The fact that you have a commenter here who is trying to defend the possibility that the Loch Ness Monster MIGHT exist is the best thing I've seen all day... And it's my kid's birthday. So. Really. I'd better go wake her up and share the good news...
    Reply Delete
  • 2 replies, Last reply by Clare Macnaughton on Mon Jul 16, 2012 at 2:30 pm
  • Report Sun Jul 15, 2012 - 1:34 am
    by  The Suniverse
    @julie gardner: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR SWEET, SWEET GIRL! And I hope she enjoys her present!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Mon Jul 16, 2012 - 2:30 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    @julie gardner: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loch_Ness_Monster
    Reply Delete
  • Report Sat Jul 14, 2012 - 1:05 am
    by  Missy
    How in the Sam Hill can they (in Louisiana) get away with creating Math Word Problems that are that assinine??? Those sorts of things are what should be broadcasted on our nightly news. Get people fired up about THAT instead of all of the other monkey-business we're so fired up about.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Sat Jul 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm
  • Report Sat Jul 14, 2012 - 4:42 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Missy: Isn't it amazing that this kind of thing flew under the radar? It was in Georgia, though, not Louisiana - what is with the south?
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 10:25 am
    by  simone
    wait - so what you're saying is the Loch Ness Monster isn't real?
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jul 13, 2012 at 5:18 pm
  • Report Fri Jul 13, 2012 - 5:18 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @simone: Shhh . . . isn't it? Bigfoot isn't telling.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 6:54 pm
    by  John
    Heinous fuckery most foul I can get started on education, and what's so fucked up about the system here in America. My wife's family is a family of teachers -- the bullshit that they need to go through, just to do their fucking job, is insane. But, they do their job, because it's what they were drawn to do -- and, as long as there are good people, who really want to teach & help the younger, well, I still have faith in the country's system. (I actually really get angry when people compare the US education system to that of, say India. Whatever we have going wrong, and it's a lot, we still feel the need to educate anyone who wants an education, and that's admirable)
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jul 13, 2012 at 5:18 pm
  • Report Fri Jul 13, 2012 - 5:18 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @John: I'm always impressed with the dedication teachers show, particularly when they are hamstrung in ridiculous ways. Kudos to your wife's family!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 3:57 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    It's scientifically possible that the Loch Ness Monster is a plesiasurus (dinosaur) so it's not unfeasible that it is real. But I know nothing of the USA education system and the beatings math's question is wrong!!
    Reply Delete
  • 15 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jul 13, 2012 at 5:17 pm
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 4:41 pm
    by  amy
    @Clare Macnaughton: You're kidding, right? Because I just happened to be fortunate enough to have watched TWO different shows where they ruled out the REMOTE possibility that the Loch Ness could have a) Been created long enough ago to accommodate dinosaurs, b) Be big enough to allow a creature that large to survive, and c) Have a dinosaur live that long.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 6:07 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @amy: The only thing I've ever seen hint at the possibility of a Loch Ness Monster was In Search Of with Leonard Nimoy in the late 70s/early 80s.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 6:42 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    @The Suniverse: Nobody knows for sure. Until they do everything is theory and speculation. Someone can say something categorically one year and then blow it out the water the next. Scuse the pun. Reptiles and birds are all descendants of dinosaurs. But I am not a scientist and don't have any evidence. But also I have never met a talking snake but I have heard that kids are taught about this snake that persuaded this woman to eat an apple and woman were punished with child birth. Folk seem to have no problem with that as a lesson. So what do I know?
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 9:34 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Clare Macnaughton: Parable is not being taught as science. That's the difference.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 8:28 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    @The Suniverse: I guess the point is that you need to move education up the political agenda.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jul 13, 2012 - 5:16 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Clare Macnaughton: True. Time to start lobbying.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 3:42 pm
    by  Lori
    @The Suniverse: Of COURSE you watched In Search Of...because how could anyone I adore so much NOT watch one of my fave 70s programs? That show used to freak me the f*ck out, in a good way...
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jul 13, 2012 - 5:16 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Lori: We need to Skype and watch it online. AWESOME. BERMUDA TRIANGLE!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jul 13, 2012 - 11:20 am
    by  The Bearded Iris
    @The Suniverse: I LOVED THAT ONE!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jul 13, 2012 - 5:17 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @The Bearded Iris: I know! I can hear the oowwweeeeoooo music in my head!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 6:43 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    @amy: well if you saw it on the telly it must be true because people who make TV shows never make shit up. I am sorry then I must have got it wrong. :)
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 7:09 pm
    by  amy
    @Clare Macnaughton: Take your attitude and shove it. It was a documentary, not a kids' show. They went TO the Loch Ness, they spoke with scientists, archaeologists and many other professionals about how the Loch Ness was made and when. They compared it to other Lochs. The other show they literally dove and searched for the monster itself, and/or any signs of it. Day and Night. They set up cameras and they had cameras on them as they dove. I'm sure it was a staged production, just like all of their other shows. Explain to me how you presume an animal of ANY kind has survived millions of years, not as a descendant (which might be more plausible), but as an ACTUAL OMG dinosaur. Come on.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 8:11 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    @amy: Now there's no need to be rude. Just because it was a documentary doesn't mean it was accurate. Crocodiles are descendants of dinosaurs and so are birds - they are also known as reptiles. Nobody knows for sure - the rest is speculation. The technology is not available to cover the whole loch. I am just saying there is no absolute about the loch ness monster and of course, there is also myth and lore involved. Perhaps I should have said descendent of a plesisaurus then - I knock out these comments in about 10 second flat. It's not personal.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 8:12 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    @Clare Macnaughton: Nb I realise that birds aren't reptiles
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 6:06 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Clare Macnaughton: There hasn't been any scientific proof that it's possible. As to the beatings questions: I don't even have any explanation of what people were thinking. Because they weren't.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 1:13 am
    by  lhewitt
    Great Post. Yes it is horrible. What are we going to do about it?
    Reply Delete
  • 3 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jul 12, 2012 at 5:40 pm
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 1:48 am
    by  The Suniverse
    @lhewitt: INSURRECTION! Or something. I'm not sure what we can do except try and shame the education board from doing this. Or vote in people who actually care about education.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 6:22 am
    by  lhewitt
    @The Suniverse: Indeed Suniverse. It is a shame when political candiates (both parties) can raise 100 Million (!) dollars in one month and we cannot offer our children a decent education.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 5:40 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @lhewitt: YES! How is that even possible?
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 8:25 pm
    by  Emmak
    aaah I am just pleased I live in Maryland where we don't have to deal with this time of educational system
    Reply Delete
  • 3 replies, Last reply by lhewitt on Thu Jul 12, 2012 at 1:16 am
  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 9:33 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Emmak: I swear. And they wonder why Louisianna is down near the bottom of the barrel in education rankings.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 1:16 am
    by  lhewitt
    @The Suniverse: Poverty
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 1:15 am
    by  lhewitt
    @Emmak: Maryland does rank #1 nationally - but the poverty gap rank is well above the national average. That is not pleasing.
    Reply Delete
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    Great
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    Nice work by the author of this!
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  • Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 11:45 pm
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    wow... cool! Thanks!
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