Jul 18
 |
Remembering a big man in a small town
The bad thing about living in a small town is that everyone knows everything about you.
The good thing about living in a small town is that everyone knows everything about you.
When it comes to celebrating graduations, births and weddings, this is a good thing.
When it comes to remembering a member of the small town community, this is a great thing.
Sadly, my brother-in-law, who I loved dearly, passed away after a ten month battle with cancer. And I have to say that the memorial in his honor was like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life. Every person in the town where he lived came to pay their respects and share a memory.
He was an opinionated, stubborn man. But he also gave generously to anyone who asked (and even to some that didn't) with his advice, time and even money.
As I stood at the bar (yes, the drinks were flowing), I felt as if I had landed in a modern day Our Town.
In one corner stood a carpenter, missing half his teeth. In another, a tall, attractive blonde woman in a tight black dress. Over there, a doctor in a silk shirt and dress pants. By the door, a young man in military dress. Balancing a plate of cheese and fruit, stood a white haired woman in a bright green golf shirt.
The rich. The poor. The PhDs. The high school dropouts.
At a time like this, there is no difference between people.
They have crammed my sister's refrigerator with "mystery" casseroles. Stocked her bar with enough bottles of vodka to last well into the next year. Offered to shovel snow, build fires, fix toilets.
The people of this small town, tucked into a beautiful corner in the mountains, have stepped in to fill the huge space left by my brother-in-law's passing.
Yes, there are no secrets in a small town.
And it is no secret that he was a great man who touched hundreds of people from all walks of life.
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Comments (51)
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Report Wed Oct 31, 2012 - 12:42 pmThanks for sharing. i really appreciate it that you shared with us such informative postReply
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Tue Jul 24, 2012 - 8:23 am
Gorgeous tribute Janie. You are a gift!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 25, 2012 at 10:11 am
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Fri Jul 20, 2012 - 7:35 pm
Something about the passing of a beloved person and suddenly everyone participates in the Irish funeral. Nice send off Janie.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Fri Jul 20, 2012 at 8:42 pm
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Report Fri Jul 20, 2012 - 9:05 amJanie - I am simply awed by your ability to write such beautiful, warm, and full-of-life words when I know you must be reeling inside from grief and loss. It's not everyday that we hear about an entire town coming together to mourn a man's passing and offer friendship and a helping hand to the family left behind, so Dutch was clearly a very special person, one blessed with a wonderful family and so many caring friends. How I wish he could have been with all of you longer! Please extend my heartfelt condolences to Arlie and the rest of your family. xoxo - HeidiReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Fri Jul 20, 2012 at 10:14 am
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Report Thu Jul 19, 2012 - 9:30 amBeautiful, Yes we are one we choose different paths and at some point come together again. Take Care Love to you and your family . MikelleReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 9:35 am
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 7:37 pmOh, what a touching tribute! And similar to what Patricia said, your small town description sounds like a heartfelt novel--so nice to know it exists in real life, too. I am so sorry for your loss, Janie, and know how hard this is for you and your family.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 9:33 am
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Report Thu Jul 19, 2012 - 7:45 amJanie that was a Boeautiful Tribute.. Ana also had a very nice tribute.. Love to you and your familyReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 9:21 am
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Thu Jul 19, 2012 - 1:15 am
A poignant reminder Janie of the power of love but also to just stop and look around and be thankful of what we have. Because it can be gone so swiftly. Much love xxReply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 3:16 am
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Report Thu Jul 19, 2012 - 1:08 amJanie-you absolutely said it all! You're such an incredible inspiration- love the way you accessed my memory bank of all that went on in Chester to celebrate Dutch's life. Thank you for your words! Especially those closing "uplifting" words you spoke @ the 1 of MANY tributes to this sweet (yeah!) man.... Love u sista! IleneReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 2:43 am
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Report Thu Jul 19, 2012 - 12:49 amHere's to the great people who live amongst us and to those who help us grieve, remember and celebrate them when they are taken far too soon.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 1:06 am
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 11:54 pmJanie - thank you for sharing your story with us. I never met you or Dutch, but from the reading of your story, he was a great man who certainly touched a lot of peoples lives. Now think on this...he's still touching lives more than ever because you are sharing this story with the world. God Bless You and your Small Town, It's sounds like a little piece of heaven on earth.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 1:05 am
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 11:39 pmA wonderful, moving and well-deserved tribute to Dutch, Arlie and the entire town. As usual, you have found that kernal of hope and faith in life and humanity. No surprise to me, as you have always done so..Much love and many many hugs to you and your entire family. JeriReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 1:05 am
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 11:23 pmJanie - this is a beautiful remembrance of Dutch. You show us how much he was loved.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 12:08 am
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Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 10:43 pm
Beautiful Janie. *Hugs*Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 12:08 am
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 10:15 pmNICE tribute.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 12:07 am
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 9:53 pmYes, there's something wonderful about a small town. While it can be suffocating to some of us, a small town knows best how to honor their own and how to care for their own. I left such a community all those years ago but am in awe of the community that still supports generation after generation. This is a wonderful tribute to your brother-in-law -- a great man.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 12:07 am
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 8:48 pmBeautifully written. Send my love to Arlie. Love, TerenceReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 19, 2012 at 12:06 am
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 7:46 pmThis is a beautiful tribute, Janie. I know what you mean about small towns because I grew up in one. I can picture your sister's town and I I know her neighbors will hold true to their promises. I'm sending her a ton of healing vibes, and hugs to you in your loss.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 8:39 pm
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 8:10 pmMy sympathy for your loss, Janie. Your tribute to your brother-in-law was really touching, and your description of a small town made me want to visit.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 8:38 pm
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 7:43 pmAh, Janie, you made me tear up. I'm so sorry about your brother in law. The way the community embraced him is very touching. Hugs to you.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 8:37 pm
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 7:33 pmJane, I agree. I also live in a small town and even though we joke about the familiarity, there are times when you can't live without it. During bereavement is one of those times. I am glad your brother-in-law got the sendoff he deserved and happy that the community will continue to support his family.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 8:36 pm
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 7:31 pmI'm so sorry for your loss, Janie. Reading your post made my jaw drop because I've read about small towns in novels but never heard anyone actually talk about it "in real life". I had no idea. Right now I'm in the middle of reading the Virgen River series by Robyn Carr and your post sounds exactly like her description of that small town. Amazing. Your brother-in-law left a legacy - which is really cool. PattiReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 8:03 pm
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Report Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 7:20 pmSorry for your loss, Janie. What a lovely tribute.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 7:42 pm
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Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 5:26 pm
Hey Janie, So, so, sorry for your family's loss. You (as usual) pulled a little nugget of beauty out for us, thanks. L. HewittReply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 7:27 pm
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Wed Jul 18, 2012 - 3:55 pm
I love it when community comes together. #blessedReply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 7:26 pm
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