Jun 27
 |
Looking after your puppies
I recently had my yearly mammogram, because in addition to being proactive about my health, I am something of a hypochondriac. Those two things may somehow be related, but I'm not a psychiatrist, so I couldn't say for sure.
Anyway, I had my mammogram, which is a rite of passage for women along the spectrum of bleeding through your feminine hygiene product while wearing white pants and having to ask your gynecologist about hemorrhoids: Something you're going to do at some point if you haven't already, but don't worry: EVERYONE ELSE HAS, TOO. We're just too classy to have a party about it. Although we shouldn't be, because how awesome would that party be? I'd toss in peeing your pants in Target at some point, too, but that is when shit gets real, and it's a little more horrifying than anything else.
Anyway, I started getting yearly mammograms when I turned 40, and while there is talk about how you don't need a yearly screening, I get the feeling that the talk is mostly from people who either don't need screening [i.e., men] or people who get yearly screenings and have only had clear sailing [women with excellent genes/health insurance].
My first mammogram found a small lump, which they had to re-check via another mammogram and an ultrasound, which still showed the lump in all its pearlescent glory. They weren't sure if it was benign or not. And then they gave me the option of waiting to see what happens or having a biopsy.
What I want to know is, WHO THE FUCK WAITS? Seriously. Who, at that point, decides, "You know what? Let's just hold off. I'm feeling lucky."
Needless to say, I had the biopsy. It was benign. I have never felt so relieved.
And I am back at the boob squisher, every year like clockwork, because I am not fucking around with these puppies. My v-neck sweaters would kill me.
You May Also Like
Comments (44)
-
Report Fri Jan 11, 2013 - 2:48 pmFor most women, handbags are their essential ornaments of life every day. This is not only used to store makeup, food, books and pens, etc., is also a symbol of identity and status of women. Any person who wants to have the designer handbag like the celebrities are. Participation in all events and parties, or send to a friend as a unique gift for that handbags are the best option at all times. Many people want to own designer handbags Dolce & Gabbana. Dolce Gabbana Handbags Spring 2010 was all about glam,Mulberry UK Sale very Gothic and very Victorian collections, but will never understand, even after seeing the Dolce Gabbana handbags Dolce Gabbana handbags Spring collections. Hermes Bags StoreIn really have become an actor of great power in bag scene. Yes, you are competing brands, but Dolce Gabbana handbag is really the best solution for style and greater value. Cheap Mulberry Bags SaleThis is evident, since the request for bags. They are so popular that people even go as far as to create a collection of designer handbags handbags.Dolce Gabbana are known for their quality. This has evolved as a long history, Dolce Gabbana is the brand. Cheap Hermes Bags USAThe same brand has been in existence for over twenty years Canada Goose outlet. E 'in recent years they have built a reputation for quality and excellence in design.Dolce Gabbana handbags are known for their impeccable style and his style is very different. This is part of why they are so popular. Part of the project plan is the creation of bags that are suitable for all ages and personalities. Each bag is unique in its design. Cheap Hermes UKIt is modern and stylish bags and purses traditional and classic.Undoubtedly, Dolce Gabbana handbags taste.Do no doubt, I can ask any questions if you have problems on football jerseys, why I'm here, by the way, do you know if you buy these fashionable bags, we are committed to protecting your privacy.Celine UK Online Store The information you provide is not given or sold to third parties, except in the shipment of your order. We only share your shipping address and phone number with the shipping company. The information we collect from you is used only to process and ship your order. Hermes Singapore Outlet Your email address will only be used to provide an order confirmation and tracking number. The phone number is used to contact you if the problem is in the creation or delivery of your order. This is not only used to store makeup, food, books and pens, etc., is also a sign of women's identity and social status Isabel Marant shoes.Reply -
Report Wed Dec 26, 2012 - 2:02 pmHis-and Louis Vuitton Taschen -hers clothes is Louis Vuitton a new modern word, Louis Vuitton it not just a Louis Vuitton Taschen clothes, it becomes the love Borse Louis Vuitton symbol between couples. Couple Louis Vuitton clothes now are a Sac Louis vuitton fashion trends among the Louis Vuitton youth. this couple clothes makes you a Louis Vuitton cute and distinguishable Louis Vuitton couple. Now we will Borse Louis Vuitton give you more information about Louis vuitton couple clothes in the Louis Vuitton Tassen follow lines three Louis Vuitton types of couple clothes.Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by Louis Vuitton Tassen on Wed Dec 26, 2012 at 2:02 pm
-
Report Wed Dec 12, 2012 - 7:46 amcheap north face Neal the game Gen NBA career record 27 points, including 20 points came in the second half, as the Spurs reversal of critical, coach Popovich Neal was a highly praised. " His brave carries weight, " said Popovich, " sometimes you need someone like this, and he chose a very suitable time broke out. " For his performance, Neal was satisfied. www.cheapnfjacketsshop.com cheap nike air max 90 Wade has been absent due to illness heat on a 95-89 beat the Hawks, are also still in recovery period; James was in on the battle and the knee injured eagles, Zhan Emperor himself admitted after the game that is really strong, much to the opinion that whether he would truce. 11 days of training, Zhan Weijun said recovered somewhat, should play the Grizzlies; heat coach Spoelstra has also given confirmed. nike air max 90 uk ugg boots uk sale Celtics open camp media day in September, Rondo had to describe their own relationship and KG, "I have to say, Kevin is my best friend on the team, I saw him firstthe day, it was my second season in the NBA, and he said to me, if I can not be the best point guard, he will be disappointed;, he would not be surprised if one day I can become the league MVP.he was always pushing me forward, his expectations are higher than anyone else, every day, he told me how to get better.Reply
-
Report Sun Aug 5, 2012 - 12:47 pmI'm 46, and after the last torture session/boob squishing I swore I wouldn't go back until they developed a blood test screen, like they have for men's prostate cancer (the wussies). it's been 3 years, and I have no intention of ever doing it again.Reply
-
Report Sun Jul 8, 2012 - 9:08 ami put the slip of paper my obgyn gave me for my boobs in the vice grip appointment in the side door of the passenger seat. it's been in there for over 2 months. i know it's there. i know i need to go. i have a lump that hasn't changed in 4 years. i'm afraid that this time it will have changed and they'll want to do a biopsy. i'm being incredibly stupid, but last time i went, i almost fainted, with my boob in the grip and all i could do was picture my tit ripping off and i got so sick i had to go to the bathroom for about 45 minutes - i was literally scared shitless. so yeah, i don't wanna go back. ever.Reply
-
6 replies, Last reply by Andi-Roo on Thu Jul 12, 2012 at 12:10 am
-
Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 5:06 amNothing causes me more anxiety than boob squishing time. Not because I care about getting my boobs squished. Please, there's no elasticity left in these puppies. Nothing can hurt them anymore. But I have fibrocystic breasts because I have special boobs. Actually, I don't even get my boobs squished anymore. We go straight to the ultrasound, thanks to my lovely lady lumps everywhere. And every year, everything has to be diagnosed by the cancer doc man and there's this holding of breath and that's the painful part, the, "What if it's this time." It's next week for me. The date hovers in my collective conscience in all my waking hours. Glad your boob was good. Always take the proactive choice.Reply
-
2 replies, Last reply by Andi-Roo on Thu Jul 12, 2012 at 12:10 am
-
Report Sun Jul 1, 2012 - 12:01 amI just squished my puppies a couple months ago because I had a "pain" (and ok, maybe I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, too)... lucky for me, it was nothing, but I do have a lot of fibroidial garbage that will make lumps difficult to identify, so I will need to go in regularly to let them docs play with my boobies. #NotFunReply
-
1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Sun Jul 1, 2012 at 6:54 pm
-
Report Fri Jun 29, 2012 - 6:31 amI just today got my "all clear" letter in the mail from this year's mammogram. And as corny as it may sound, I did a little happy dance. Well, maybe not an actual dance. More like I smiled extra wide. But you've seen me on Skype. I'm usually frowning, right? (Glad you were okay. And that you KEEP being okay. For reals.)Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 7:27 pm
-
Report Thu Jun 28, 2012 - 6:40 pmMy puppies are runts, but I shall get them squished thanks to you!Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 28, 2012 at 9:16 pm
-
Report
Wed Jun 27, 2012 - 11:46 pm
Hey Suniverse, So funny! But so true. I had to have a biopsy last year also and that is one looooong needle. I asked Dr. Asshole to be careful not to puncture a lung. The bastard agreed because my breast "is on the small side". Like his penis and his sense of humor. Glad it was benign.Reply -
6 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 28, 2012 at 5:29 pm
-
Report Thu Jun 28, 2012 - 7:29 amHATE getting mine squished!!! I even tried giving up caffeine for a couple days before. Hurts just the same. But with my family medical history, gotta do it every year.Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 28, 2012 at 5:28 pm
-
Report Thu Jun 28, 2012 - 1:29 amSo, um, yeah. I'm only 38 but I've been squished twice, both because of lumps found that needed biopsying that I most definitely did not say "Neh, I'ma just hold off for now." I ask you this though: do you know how fucking hard it is to squish -AAAA cups? DO YOU? I gots to get on my tippytippytoetops like the goddamn black swan (ooh look, a pun!) to get enough to even fit into the box. "Maybe if you --" "No, bitch, there just ain't no more. THERE AIN'T NO MORE."Reply
-
5 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 28, 2012 at 5:28 pm
-
Report Thu Jun 28, 2012 - 5:20 pmYou know, us men really get it easy in the "stuff that happens to everybody, but nobody talks about it, but, really, everybody should talk about it, because that would make it a whole lot easier to fathom" department. But, since I'm at high risk for two types of cancer that only men need to worry about, I get yearly screenings which, really, are not enjoyable (and I'm kinkier than most, and can find enjoyment in a lot of things that others can't imagine enjoying). I'm pretty sure it's nowhere near the level of suck that you women go through, but it seems like the gap is getting closer.Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 28, 2012 at 5:27 pm
-
Report Thu Jun 28, 2012 - 12:09 amyou didn't have a party after asking about the ring of fire? lame.Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 28, 2012 at 2:36 am
-
Report
Thu Jun 28, 2012 - 12:17 am
Yeah! Squishies! I have to get everything checked because under family history, my doctor just wrote "she's fucked".Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 28, 2012 at 2:35 am
-
Report
Wed Jun 27, 2012 - 5:37 pm
Sage words indeed.....burys head in sand! :(Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Wed Jun 27, 2012 at 11:42 pm
Enter the word as it appears in the box.