May 16

Bjorn again

Comments (17) by Lerner May 16, 2012 - 6:01 AM

I've seen the creepy, late-night infomercials where babies are "taught to read" with a series of flashcards and exercises which leave the poor kid looking like some sort of bizarro-Einstein-Jr and the parents behaving like the worst of the worst from Toddlers & Tiaras. The first week of June, I'm pretty certain to join the ranks.

Of course, my "newborn" is three and a half, and instead of shoving flashcards in her face I will be taking her to the carefully-chosen preschool where she will begin her long and illustrious academic career.

It sure feels like she's a newborn; it was definitely just last week that she came rushing into this world in a wave of light and tears and bodily fluids; but evidently it's been 42 months. 42 months... that's over 1200 days of one-on-one time; breastfeeding, cuddling, learning, crying, laughing, hugging, arguing, growing.

Now she doesn't need me anymore.

Obviously that's not entirely true, but as a stay-at-home mother it's hard to fight the inevitable fate of my identity being totally wrapped up in what she's doing. And the thought of finally cutting the baby sling cords is overwhelming to say the least.

I have to admit, I feel guilty about being a little excited. I mean, I know my alphabet already and have been practicing it every day for a really long time now. A grown-up, out-of-the-house job where I talk about any number of things that don't include shapes and colors? It sounds positively indulgent. Next thing you know, I'll be hiring a babysitter so I can fly to Vegas and play the slots.

So, what's the trick? How do I effortlessly transition from Lerner-giant-milky-breast-and-snotty-nose-wiper back into Lerner-woman-of-mystery-and-intrigue?

by Lerner May 16, 2012 - 6:01 AM

You May Also Like



Comments (17)

Enter the word as it appears in the box.

Submit Comment Cancel
  • Report Tue May 22, 2012 - 12:46 am
    by  Just Jennifer
    My youngest will start FIRST GRADE next Fall. This will mark the beginning of my life as the mother of two school-aged children who will both be gone 6 hours a day 5 days a week (give or take holidays, teacher development days and crap like that). It will be a whole new life! I may cry, I may giggle. I'm not sure yet.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Mon May 21, 2012 - 3:54 pm
    by  Kat
    I nearly turned cartwheels on the way to the car when I dropped my youngest off for her first day of reception.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu May 17, 2012 - 10:50 pm
    by  rootietoot
    The first day my (now 13 yr old) last child started kindergarten, I spent the entire day watching racy movies and eating junk food that I DIDN'T HAVE TO SHARE. Then I got busy honing those skills that had fallen by the wayside due to child rearing. And no, I didn't cry when he went, but I am not very sentimental about that sort of thing.
    Reply Delete
  • 2 replies, Last reply by rootietoot on Fri May 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 7:07 am
    by  Lerner
    @rootietoot: I bawled like a little bitch baby the entire day when my oldest started kindergarten. That was almost four years ago now. I don't know if I've got it in me to do all that crying again :). There's something about the second time around that takes the sting out of those things I think. I didn't really care when she got vaccinated and I wouldn't even stay in the room when they got her older brother :). I'm weird, I know.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 4:14 pm
    by  rootietoot
    @Lerner: Not weird at all! The first one is Uncharted Waters,with subsequent children you know for sure that they aren't going to die or hate you if they get shots, or go to school, or fall off playground equipment. The 13 yr old is the 4th child, so I probably could have simply shoved him out the door to fend for himself. (I didn't, tho...I do have SOME standards)
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 7:34 am
    by  Elizabeth Flora Ross
    I thought SB starting preschool would be the beginning of my "coming out" in to the real world again. However, I soon realized five hours two days a week gave me no time to be or do anything. It simply goes by too quickly. She will go three days a week in the fall. I am desperate to be something other than Mommy, so I hope I can make it work... Good luck! But honestly, you have been a woman of mystery and intrigue as long as I have known you.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri May 18, 2012 at 7:38 am
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 7:38 am
    by  Lerner
    @Elizabeth Flora Ross: I know it wasn't your intention to hit on me with that last sentence, but you should know that you could totally get in my pants with it :). That was just about the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me in my life. In all seriousness? We're starting with M/W and I know that won't be starkly different, but by the time she's there five days a week, it's gonna be SO different. It's the five days a week thing that has me totally freakin'. Maybe I should just drink more, that sounds responsible right?
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu May 17, 2012 - 1:14 am
    by  lhewitt
    Hey Lerner, Effortless transitional tricks. I just wanted to type that. I like what Clare said too. I cried like a little bitch the first week mine went off to preschool and I was working at the time. It's hard to be a woman of mystery and intrigue with a car seat in your car. Oh - Be Carfeful About Being A Volunteer, cannot stress that enough.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri May 18, 2012 at 7:05 am
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 7:05 am
    by  Lerner
    @lhewitt: "It's hard to be a woman of mystery and intrigue with a car seat in your car"... that is potentially the wisest thing I've heard in ages :)
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed May 16, 2012 - 8:00 pm
    by  Janie Emaus
    I love what Clare said. Invent a new version of yourself and update it every few months.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri May 18, 2012 at 7:04 am
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 7:04 am
    by  Lerner
    @Janie Emaus: every FEW MONTHS?! Holy crap!! How the hell am I supposed to keep up that kind of pace?!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed May 16, 2012 - 6:18 pm
    by  Miriam Christina
    You will work it out, not always simple but this is the way of life. Plus , I hated it at the start, but did enjoy some me time from time to time.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri May 18, 2012 at 7:04 am
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 7:04 am
    by  Lerner
    @Miriam Christina: but what did you DO with all the you time? I kind of don't know what to do with myself with free time any more?
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed May 16, 2012 - 3:51 pm
    by  The Bearded Iris
    LOVE the title! Excited for you. It's a great transition. Enjoy!
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri May 18, 2012 at 7:03 am
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 7:03 am
    by  Lerner
    @The Bearded Iris: I do too! Wish I could take any credit for it. That was all editorial, I was choking all over the place with the title. I wrote the post, stared at it for ages and nothin... came up with the worst title in history and let it go. Thank god for good editing ;)
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed May 16, 2012 - 2:06 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    I think you find a way of emerging as a bit of both. It's an opportunity to create Lerner version 3.0 like every time Microsoft release a new version of windows. I think just keep moving forward and evolving. You'll work it out because it will be what it will be.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Lerner on Fri May 18, 2012 at 7:03 am
  • Report Fri May 18, 2012 - 7:03 am
    by  Lerner
    @Clare Macnaughton: Lerner 3.0... hmmmm.... interesting. Aren't there usually horrible software bugs in like the first five hundred versions though? :)
    Reply Delete

We’re pretty Pinteresting

NewsLetters

Subscribe Now

Like us on facebook

CommunityPoll

Not available!

GraffitiArchive