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That which we call a small
I'm a coffee addict. Having this addiction shouldn't be a complicated matter, but these days ordering a coffee is anything but simple.
Boutique coffee shops such as Starbucks and Coffee Bean offer coffee drinks that have become works of art, with exotic names like Cinnamon Dolce Creme, Mocha Frappucino and Caramel Macchiato. And as if learning the names of these new drinks isn't enough, I now have to familiarize myself with the new sizes being offered.
At Starbucks they have tall, grande and venti. At Coffee Bean they serve small, regular and large.
Doesn't "regular" mean what one usually orders? "I'll have my regular." Isn't it presumptuous to assume that everyone's regular is the drink in the middle?
And yesterday at the mall, I could have ordered an ernome from a barista who was only too happy to add an extra shot of caffeine for only 25-cents. Such a deal. An enorme coffee alone was enough to give me the jitters.
So the other day with my tall coffee in hand, my granddaughter excitedly showed me her report card. She got all 4's. Fours? It appears that the grading system here in Los Angeles now uses numbers, with a 4 being equivalent to an A. What happened to the good old A, B, C, D & F system?
Speaking of numbers, the last time I went shopping I was completely confused as to what size I should buy. The store's sizing started with a zero and went to up to five. Now, I'm a small person, so I guess I'd be a negative number. Who wants to feel like they're less than nothing? And really who is getting fooled? If you're a five at this shop, well, then you're a large. Oh excuse me, a venti.
Yes, names and labels have changed quite a lot throughout the years. But to paraphrase Shakespeare - That which we call a small by any other name would still be a small.
Back in the Bard's time, a woman with a hot flash was a woman with a hot flash. Now, well, to be politically correct, we're called ‘hormonally challenged' women.
And I say that's enough of a challenge without having to learn how to order a coffee drink!
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Comments (16)
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Report Wed Feb 15, 2012 - 11:25 pmBack when I first started ordering coffees, in NY delicatessens, "regular" meant with cream and sugar. No such thing now! Thanks for another great blog,Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 15, 2012 at 11:49 pm
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Report Wed Feb 15, 2012 - 5:47 pmLOL, Janie! It's so confusing. I always feel like a dunderhead when I order a coffee drink because of all the ingredients - "nonfat," "decaf," "blended," and then I have to say the right size? The other day my hubby brought me home an ice blended coffee drink the size of a big gulp! He had no idea what he was asking for.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 15, 2012 at 10:21 pm
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Report Wed Feb 15, 2012 - 4:47 pmI suppose the idea is to try to make us feel better about our clothes or drink sizes, Janie, but turning standard measurements into something far from standard is just too confusing! Thanks for writing about it.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 15, 2012 at 10:21 pm
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Report Wed Feb 15, 2012 - 4:28 pmI'm with you on this Janie. If something isn't broken don't fix it, but I guess people are always wanting to change things up. At my age it just adds to the general confusion of trying to keep up with modern technology, Sometimes I think I'm so far behind and then other days I get all happy because I "get" something new. : )Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 15, 2012 at 4:41 pm
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Report Wed Feb 15, 2012 - 4:08 pmI don't drink coffee; so I'm not size challenged there. I was grade challenged when the kids were in kindergarten. After that, on to the A,B,C's. Size challenged? Always. And hormonally challenged? The doc said I'm past that (I'm not that old!), but I disagree. LOL Excellent post!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm
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Report Wed Feb 15, 2012 - 3:35 pmAin't that the truth, Janie! I used to be 105 soaking wet and I wore size 5 or six. My daughter who weighs 110 is a zero. I have also noticed at the movies - what we used to call a large drink (back in my day) is now a small, and a small bag of popcorn is equivalent to large back then. We always had the bucket of popcorn, but it was a bucket of popcorn. No wonder we're all overweight around her - present company excluded of course, Ms.Emaus...Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 15, 2012 at 4:14 pm
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Report Wed Feb 15, 2012 - 3:20 pmToo funny and too true. Sometimes I find myself so confused when it comes time to order, I just end up staring at the person. And don't even get me started on sizes.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 15, 2012 at 3:30 pm
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Wed Feb 15, 2012 - 12:32 pm
Clothes are particularly challenging. In one store I wear a 12, in another, a 1 (what??) and in still a third, an XXL...Excuse me? If I buy a pattern to sew something, I wear a 24, which offends me but I still want the pattern. With coffee, I'd like a regular, so it's The Daily Grind instead of Starbucks, and you get free refills there too, if you have one of their special mugs.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 15, 2012 at 3:29 pm
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