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Changing stones
One day you go to bed without any wrinkles and wake up wondering what kind of little bird left those imprints near your eyes and in the corners of your mouth. How come yesterday you could do fifty sit-ups and now you're lucky if you can sit up in bed without straining a muscle. And you used to be able to stay up partying well past midnight and still function at work the next day, without that three-o-clock nap.
You ask yourself - When did these changes take place? They came on without you expecting them. No flashing yellow light. No life sign posted on the side of the road warning: Merging into middle age.
And then you find yourself talking about things you never used to talk about: your health.
Oh sure, you used complain about those yearly mammograms (you'd think with all this technology that they could do away with squeezing your breasts between those cold pancake turners and simply press your breasts up to an iPhone for the x-ray) and those oh-so-invasive pap smears. But those health issues didn't rank up there with gossiping about the overly-dressed woman who just wouldn't stop talking at the PTA meeting. Or the fabulous shoe sale at Nordstrom's.
But somehow over the past few years, health has crept into more and more of your conversations.
Take the other night, for example. My husband and I were having dinner with some friends. The Rolling Stones were playing softly in the backyard (any louder and we wouldn't be able to hear each other talk) when suddenly I realized we had just spent an entire hour talking about kidney stones and gall stones.
About high blood pressure instead of the pressure in our bike tires after those long rides we used to take. About trips to the ER instead of taking trips to an altered state of mind. Not that spending time in the ER isn't like going to an altered universe, but it certainly isn't as much fun. About blood tests instead of pregnancy tests. About the differences between HDL's and LDL's instead of MBA's and MFA's.
Oh sure, this isn't all we talked about. But somehow now that I'm in the middle of my life, these issues are calling out for my attention.
I'm going to listen to what my body is telling me. Even if it takes a few conversations to fully understand what's being said. And I'm going to do all I can to help my friends and family listen to theirs.
As the The Rolling Stones sang...
"Well, we all need
someone we can lean on
And if you want it, you can lean on me
Yeah, we all need someone we can lean on
And if you want it, you can lean on me."
And I realized the word "stroke" had been in several of my conversations lately and not in reference to swimming across a pool of water but the pool of life and how suddenly the waters can change.
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Comments (30)
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Report Mon Feb 27, 2012 - 2:42 amSo true. I haven't even reached 50 yet and I'm having some health issues now as well as becoming too well acquainted with docs. Totally took me by surprise.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Mon Feb 27, 2012 at 2:43 am
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Report Sun Feb 26, 2012 - 9:59 pmI hear you, Janie. I just turned 62 and my brother 70 and we were complaining the other night that we spend time talking to each other about how our medical appointments went. E-YUK!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Sun Feb 26, 2012 at 10:48 pm
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Report Sat Feb 25, 2012 - 7:49 amJanie-once again your writing always gives me the smile & laugh response. You are funny & have such a great way to tell it the way it is. I especially love your reference to the Stones (Rolling, that is). Oh boy, though, I am trying NOT to listen to my body and keep moving. I simply try not to look in the mirror- now THAT triggers the "oh ma gawd, I don't feel like I look like that (wrinkly) reaction! Thanks for your words. xxReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Sat Feb 25, 2012 at 11:28 am
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Thu Feb 23, 2012 - 6:05 pm
Maybe you should ban 'health chat' so that you don't get sucked into it. It's like sitting around the table saying 'fuck me old, How did that happen?' Over and over and over again.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm
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Report Thu Feb 23, 2012 - 1:13 amI know that when I stop exercising I feel down and I'm not much fun. So, if you've talked to me in the last month - I'm sorry. I'm exercising again so I should be 'myself' again soon. Of course, I'm not saying that being myself is any better - but at least I'm more upbeat! ; - )Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 3:40 am
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Report Thu Feb 23, 2012 - 12:11 amIt's very sad but sometimes people just ignore the signs. Either its out of fear or a feeling that they're the exception to the rule. Hopefully, and sadly this will be a wake-up call. Someone who caresReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 3:39 am
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Report Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 11:19 pmI've found that there are aches and pains no matter, so I create the good ones by working out instead of suffering the middle aged ones of inactivity. Those kind of aches tend to keep away the really big problems. You might want to listen to "The Last Lecture" and all those annoyances are suddenly put into perspective--and by a guy who knew he had only a few months to live: http://t.co/iV5j1nbY Great post--Thanks! Christine London www.christinelondon.comReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 3:38 am
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Report Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 11:17 pmBette Davis said: "Old age ain't for sissies." Oh, Lord, was she ever right.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 3:37 am
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Report Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 10:27 pmHow true that is, Janie. Even so, there are a lot of good things to talk about regarding how to maintain our health despite worrying about it.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 3:36 am
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Report Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 10:16 pmBack! That's the conversation I am suddenly having so frequently these days. And of the "baby got back" variety. Or mentions of Justin Timberlake. How did this happen?Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 3:35 am
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Report Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 9:42 pmHope your friend's recovery is smooth. Yep, we can get caught up in the health woes. I try not to, but some days are tougher than others. When I get too negative I put action into my day. Doesn't matter what the action is, a walk, a swim, going to Curves, or doing housework. So long as I'm moving. ; )Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 3:35 am
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Report Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 9:20 pmThe middle years are when we discover all that can go wrong and too often dwell on these things But have faith. At 80 I have discovered what a waste of time that was. You create what you focus on, so focus on the joys in your life...the part of your health that is good...the blessings you are enjoying. Angst is inevitable, but you don't have to feed it. And if you starve it enough, it dies.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 3:34 am
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Report Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 7:51 pmHow absolutely true, Janie. When I'm with my friends of 40 years, and I find us talking about health issues, I do a "fun" alert, meaning, let's change subjects to something fun and light. We certainly will have a lot of time for complaining, when we are truly old and can't do much else.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 22, 2012 at 8:00 pm
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Report Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 7:17 pmI find those conversations occur all too often as well. So sad but so true! I'm glad I'm not the only one!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 22, 2012 at 7:38 pm
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Wed Feb 22, 2012 - 6:08 pm
OMG, HORRIFYING, and so. stinkin'. true! I threw out my back sneezing yesterday. SNEEZING! I used to listen to my grandparents and parents complain about their health and think, oh Lawd, please don't let that be me someday. Ooops, too late. It's me. Great post Janie!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Feb 22, 2012 at 7:38 pm
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