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When Mickey met Minnie (well, almost)
"Something I wanted to mention," my child-minder said in a hushed voice; taking in a deep, weary breath, I wondered what it could be this time. Poo in the pants? Glue in the hair? Split lip? "Big Milk's been asking to see the girls' minnies today." She whispered "Just thought you should know".
Far from being shocked or embarrassed, all I could think was "Erm, and?"
I'm not sure, but I think the suggestion was that my five-year-old was some kind of sexoid freak; that he'd overstepped the mark and behaved in a way that, well, he MUST have learnt at home.
Now Mr. Milk and I rarely even exchange a lingering kiss in front of the children (who has time for kissing when a house is THIS dirty?), and all motorized equipment is well hidden at the back of a drawer otherwise crammed full of the most BORING shit a young person could NEVER be bothered to rifle through. And Mr. Milk certainly never asks to see MY minnie over the breakfast cereal.
So this behavior was all him. And largely speaking, I have no issue with it.
It's not that I'm secretly patting my boys on the back with a guffaw and a wink, and I would certainly be mortified if they ever did anything to coerce a girl into doing something she wasn't happy about, but surely show and tell, or "touch and don't tell" is a perfectly normal part of growing up?
I certainly did it. With a boy called Daniel who lived next door. We were in my bedroom and Jaws was on. While Roy Scheider was being thrashed around above deck, me and Daniel were on the top bunk. Kneeling face to face, my skirt hitched round my tummy, him with hands on hips, touching for a nanosecond.
Giggling and red-faced? For sure. On equal footing? Absolutely.
We only did it once. It stung a bit (well that's how I remember it), we yawned, and then went back to watching Jaws rip shreds out of the boat with his plastic moon face leering up to the camera.
And it was never mentioned again. Except in my diary - naive hands trying to make sense of the world through infantile scrawl.
Really that's about as charged as it gets at that age. Yeah you're curious, yeah you know it's a bit rude (in a giggly kind of way), but not crude, or upsetting, or sexual.
Yes there are exceptions - where home life is way out of balance and kids are seeing all sorts of things they shouldn't - but I'm not talking about that.
So when my child-minder told me my son had asked to see some minnie? I honestly wondered why she'd even thought to mention it. After all, I can imagine it was said in a brief moment of boredom, and when told to get stuffed, he simply went back to ripping the heads off action men.
No big deal, or is it?
PS My son is five not fifteen.
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Comments (18)
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Sat Nov 19, 2011 - 11:21 pm
Hmm.... actually, as a mum of a 4yo girl, I *would* have a problem with that. We're trying to teach her that those bits are private - and to respect other people's private bits too. I suppose your child minder was hoping, as I would, that you'd explain to him that certain parts of the body aren't for general viewing, whether you ask nicely or not.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by marketingtomilk on Sun Nov 20, 2011 at 10:26 am
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Sat Nov 19, 2011 - 5:19 am
I think I would have thought the term minnie so effing cute, I would have hoped he would have brought it up again just so I could have another laugh at the child's expense. ...minnie...there's one I've never heard and I love it!Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by Sandra on Sat Nov 19, 2011 at 4:42 pm
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Thu Nov 17, 2011 - 3:12 pm
Your son's behaviour is completely normal. No worries. He's only curious for God's sake. Like you said..he's five!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by marketingtomilk on Sat Nov 19, 2011 at 7:33 am
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Fri Nov 18, 2011 - 2:24 pm
Minnie is such a nice way of saying it too. I am sure if he carries on with such parlance and delicate handling of the requests he'll get to see a lot more minnie when the time is right!Reply -
5 replies, Last reply by marketingtomilk on Sat Nov 19, 2011 at 7:01 am
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Fri Nov 18, 2011 - 11:27 am
OMG, totally cracking up over here. Our little boys should get together for a play date! I'm more concerned about you watching Jaws at such a young age than exploring bodies with the next-door-Daniel. Jaws...now THAT's some scary shit! And who calls vaginas "minnies"?? Is that a British thing? My former child-minder called it "down there"! Ugh. VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA. Vulva. Labia. Say it with me, ladies!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by marketingtomilk on Sat Nov 19, 2011 at 6:57 am
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Thu Nov 17, 2011 - 12:05 pm
This is such a touchy subject these days, and maybe you've hit the nail on the head as to why... it is adults, sexualising the perfectly normal behavior of children? Maybe...Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by marketingtomilk on Thu Nov 17, 2011 at 12:29 pm
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