In The Powder Room

Dec 15

Sibling rivalry

Comments (5) by Peabee December 15, 2011 - 7:01 AM

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Sibling rivalry. It's one of those concepts that I never really gave much thought to before children. But now, when I watch my own I see what it really means.  It's not about a specific competition or a prize, it's more a constant vying to be number one.  They are rivals in every sense, and if there's no competition to be had, they'll create one of their own.

As a parent, it's sink or swim time - or even sink or gin time, but each to their own.  The point is that there is always hope. Here's our top five survival tactics:

1.) Never take more than one child bowling at a time. Ever. Not even with the barriers up. There will be tears, and potentially hideous head-in-ball-shute situations.  Don't say we didn't warn you. This pretty much applies to any vaguely competitive scenario.

2.) Relying on the bended-knee and soft-face approach to a post-apocalyptic living room scene may make you Supernanny's number one student, but it's just not cutting the rapid response mustard. We're going Woodhouse on this one. "NO!" "SIT!" and potentially "WALKIES!" but it's pretty much single syllables all the way.

3.) Be the leader.  If you're cooking pancakes, tell them in advance who's getting the first and why. You may have to be caustically honest here but if a weeping child is preferential to having your best Royal Doulton totalled, consider it worthwhile. Caution - this may result in a fight.  Refer back to point two for coping tactics.

4.) When they ask you who your favourite is, you tell them, "It's you darling, just don't tell the others". This is not deceptive, it's morale boosting and designed to keep you in the driving seat. Needs must - it's for the greater good.

5.) Accept that Pareto's law applies here, as in every situation.  If you want 20% of the time to be spent in relative harmony you have to accept the 80% that will be hell, or worse. Gin works, red wine less so but it all helps....

And finally, there will come a time when they ask how you coped.  On this auspicious day, you will raise a glass and know that it worked.

 

by Peabee December 15, 2011 - 7:01 AM

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  Report Fri Dec 16, 2011 - 9:34 pm

  by  Liz Dawes

  Middle child. Still ain't got a clue. Go figure.

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• 1 reply, Last reply by Peabee on Sun Dec 18, 2011 at 9:43 pm
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  Report Sun Dec 18, 2011 - 9:43 pm

  by  Peabee

  @Liz Dawes: That'll be because you were a middle child ;)

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  Report Fri Dec 16, 2011 - 3:20 pm

  by  Clare Macnaughton

  I am only child and have one of each - I had no idea about sibling politics and have just discovered that winding each other up is simply a means of killing time and sending my on the bonkers bus. I like these tactics and shall be deploying often. thanks PB ;)

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• 2 replies, Last reply by Clare Macnaughton on Fri Dec 16, 2011 at 9:15 pm
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  Report Fri Dec 16, 2011 - 7:35 pm

  by  Peabee

  @Clare Macnaughton: Ha, also an only child and very much of the "WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?" mentality. I get that they 'have' to do it, I just wish it was when they weren't within of me and my idealistic sensibilities...

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  Report Fri Dec 16, 2011 - 9:15 pm

  by  Clare Macnaughton

  @Peabee: That's why you are in WTF land - like me. Gin up love ;)

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