In The Powder Room

It is estimated that approximately 1 in every 100 children will now have a diagnosis of autism.  Autism is a spectrum disorder which means that people on the autistic spectrum are affected in different ways. The spectrum ranges from the more severe types of autism to the milder forms of autism such as Asperger syndrome. Autism and Asperger Syndrome are lifelong disabilities. There is no known cure and the cause is unclear, but possibly thought to be genetic. Amelia Critchlow knows all about this using her experience with her son to create and educate people about the highs and lows of parenting a child with Aspergers. Here she shares her story.

I had my first child with a large gap between child number two. As soon as my second child arrived I got a feeling I am not sure exactly when it started, but very early on. Something was different. I dont wish to say too much about my child as one day he will grow up into an adult and I dont necessarily wish to share his life over the net, but suffice to say things were different. Something was disconnected and I couldnt put my finger on what that was.

I took him to health visitors, I took him to specialist child medical centres, I took him to the doctors and wept with how hard I found things at times. I got a referral to a behavioural specialist they too picked up nothing, I took him for hearing tests (he said uh? a lot), they found nothing, he went to nursery and they found nothing other than he was an intelligent and unusual boy and I should watch him in school.

He went to school, they saw nothing, but I did. I saw growing gaps in certain areas. I asked the school, they just put him on the gifted and talented register great, but there was more to deal with than someone who is extra bright.

I walked in to school early one day and saw that my son was sitting in the corner crying and had been told off (again, it turns out). The teacher wasnt expecting me, she looked slightly sheepish and for me that was my snapping point. No-one was putting my little boy (who could do pretty much any task he was given) ... in a naughty corner without looking into the obvious disparities that were emerging.

I didnt stop phoning my local council education department until one day I got put through to someone and everything came pouring out, all the notes I had taken about the slightly odd behaviour I was witnessing. She immediately offered to come to the school (as an educational specialist) and observe him. That was the beginning of a summer diagnosis of my son having an unusual form of aspergers - two years ago now.

I felt a mix of emotions, but mainly relief. Yes, relief at that label. It meant I could stop being angry at my son for naughty behaviour I thought he was doing things deliberately and instead it meant that out there in the world there would be ploys and strategies I could adopt to help with the tough times and the things I didnt understand.

I fought endlessly and hard to get that diagnosis whilst at the same time I was splitting up from his dad and single parenting. This meant I was also the one who was working hard to keep a roof over all of our heads, not to mention daily dealings with a bright yet exhausting child. To add to it all I was also changing his school. It has nearly finished me at times - the exhaustion is immense.

I would like help and respite, if not with my son, with all the other things that go with just staying sane and running a house.  But I know it will not happen so I am dedicated to pursuing my personal dreams (I am an artist) and sharing it with others art saves lives and sanity and that has been what has saved mine. I teach art and I get funding for projects and recently I ran an art project with a good friend (and another mum of an autistic child) and it is currently up in Putney Library in South London. This project uses art to process peoples stories about living with autism. Oh and I still like to party hard too, have a laugh, and go on adventures and that is what I plan to do when I get over this fatigue

If I have a message for anyone out there going through anything remotely similar I would say this:

*  Always trust your intuition MOTHERS intuition is powerful and often right

*  Never stop at the first person who tells you everything is okay if you feel it isnt. Carry on pursuing and getting second opinions

* Children with autism who arent diagnosed will be prone to misunderstanding and therefore mistreatment

Also, I have not given my son any vaccinations so I cant ever blame vaccinations for his form of autism which is something that often happens.

I am currently reading Horseboy by Rupert Isaacson and cannot recommend it enough, especially if people want to know just how difficult living with autism can be: a fascinating story.

Living with autism is an exhibition of visual art and words that explores both sides of the coin: what it's like to care for a person on the spectrum (Austistic Spectrum Disorder) and what life is like for young people who have autism.

The exhibition is on until June 19th at Putney Library. To find out more, visit Amelia's website: www.ameliacritchlow.co.uk  and blog: www.101birdtales.blogspot.com

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