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How to conceive a girl
Thanks to Victoria Beckham and her ability, or rather David's (or perhaps even a doctor's) in conceiving a much publicly longed for girl, the media's gone mad. Apparently now ALL women want girls. Whether 'PECKS' underwent IVF sex selection, choosing the gender of their baby (illegal in the UK but legal in the US) is unknown and there's no evidence to say they did, but the message is loud and clear. Women with boys (and even those without) will always wish for girls and might well go to great lengths to have one. I wasn't one of those women.
"My name's Vicki and I wanted a boy".
After dating my then boyfriend, now husband, for a while the inevitable unveiling of baby photographs (by his mother, at my request) occurred and I was literally bowled over by the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I mean 'baby Brad Pitt' beautiful. It was then I hoped if I ever procreated with this chap, I'd like a boy. A mini-him. Yes, above all I wanted a healthy baby and would have loved a girl too; it was merely a thought, years before conception.
Fast forward to my pregnancy and all the men in my family made it clear they hoped for a boy. Their reasoning was as follows: "We want him to watch Arsenal with us"! (Yes, really. I mean, I enjoy Arsenal and don't have a penis.) Reason 2: "He needs to carry the family name as he might be the last to do so". (Having a girl doesn't mean she'll marry though, does it?) "Boys are more fun" (What?!). Utter baloney. With balls on top. The thing is, I really wasn't that bothered and that's the truth, Ruth! I understand women who have a few same-sex children wanting to experience the other, but the lengths couples are going to seems bizarre...
Which leads me to the Shuttle method which purports a 70% success rate. This is the supposed natural way to conceive a girl or a boy and advises men to take hot baths prior to sex to kill the strongest sperms (the male ones) when trying for a girl, and to do the deed as close as possible to ovulation, for a boy. Are you reading this Kate and Wills? Presumably they, more than anyone right now have the greatest pressure of all to produce an heir and son to the throne.
So what are your thoughts? Moi, I don't mind what my next child will be as long as he/she goes to Oxford and becomes a lawyer. OK, I'm lying (but not about the Oxford bit); I really don't care. A girl would be fun and do something to balance out all the Postman Pat paraphernalia that saturates my home, but I'd be completely happy with another boy. The question is, will you?
Vicki Psarias is blogger Honest Mum. She is also a screenwriter and filmmaker.
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Comments (22)
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Fri Oct 28, 2011 - 2:24 pm
Great article. I think what's ridiculous is to pretend that people don't think about preferring one gender over another. I have 2 boys, if I was going to have another child, I'd like a girl. That's primarily because I lost mum 6 years ago and always wanted that kind of close bond a mother and daughter have. However, I have a close bond with my boys - it's just different. It's much more than wanting to dress a girl in pretty clothes. Would I go to the lengths of genetic manipulation? Of course not. Now *that's* ridiculous.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 2:36 pm
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Thu Oct 20, 2011 - 2:12 pm
I am happy to have two girls especially as you can dress them in such cute outfits when they are small - I don't care what they say there is not the same fashion satisfaction from boys. But I would probably have adapted to boys if I'd had them. That said, can boys really be much use in Sephora helping you choose eyeshadow or as in the case of my younger daughter being obsessed with color coorinating outfits? I don't think I'd ever be arsed to shuffle though ...Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:53 pm
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Thu Oct 20, 2011 - 5:23 pm
I didn't really care either way and ended up with one girl and two boys. (I am now left with just the boys, and given that they have decided to be extra boy-ish to bait me, life is becoming a bit too full of fart and butt jokes.) What I really don't like is parents who confess, within ear shot of children, that "so and so was meant to be a girl" or the other way round. I mean look how much it screwed with Lady Di's head.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:52 pm
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Report Thu Oct 20, 2011 - 8:51 pmWhen I was pregnant I wasn't bothered at all so it came as a complete shock to me that I was so relieved to have a girl. I'm not having any more but I've just met a man with 2 small boys.....god help me ;-) xReply -
1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:51 pm
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Report Thu Oct 20, 2011 - 8:52 pmFirst, I believe it's called the Shettles method, and second, it worked twice for me! So I'd say I had 100% success.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:51 pm
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Report Fri Oct 21, 2011 - 12:39 amThis method makes no sense biologically. The Y chromosome which will form a boy is actually weaker than the X chromosomes which forms a girl. They're shorter and therefore don't have as much power. And actually 125 boys are conceived compared to 100 girls, but those boys don't make it to birth because of the weak shorter Y chromosome. So, I don't see how this method works other than just coincidence.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:50 pm
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Report Fri Oct 21, 2011 - 4:07 pmSomeone once said to me 'the sex you want for your child is the one that comes out'... meaning you may have longed for a boy but out pops a girl and that's when you realise you wanted a girl all along and vice versa. I so believe this at least for the first kiddo. I have a girl and IF i ever have a second I'd be happy with either (secretly i want another girl.. too many fantastic shopping opportunities out there!!)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm
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Report Fri Oct 21, 2011 - 5:45 pmGreat piece, Honest Mum. I find the whole gender obsession fascinating and blogged about it after watching that 8 Boys and wanting a Girl doc on TV. I've got two delicious boys so if/when we go for number 3, I honestly would be bowled over to have another. Of course a girl would be equally welcome. The reasons people give for wanting either sex often sound so superficial - e.g. 'fashion' or 'football'. It's as if deep down we all want to spawn Posh and Becks clones!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm
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Fri Oct 21, 2011 - 7:32 pm
As I sit here and listen to my 5 yo make fart noises repeatedly I really wonder if girls do that. I'm a mom to two boys and I can't help but want a daughter if nothing else but for the reason I won't be cleaning urine off the bathroom walls and hopefully have the shopping companion I do not have with either son or my husband. Not to mention girl's clothes are just so much cuter!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm
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Sun Oct 23, 2011 - 3:03 pm
Wow, this is so ridiculous. People should just be happy 1. being able to have a baby in the first place and 2. having a healthy child. It's absolutely immature and selfish to be plotting the sex of your baby through genetic manipulation. I have one girl and two boys and at any given time any one of them can be driving me crazy or making fart jokes. But I wouldn't change any one of them. All children have something wonderful to offer, so the real question is what are you offering to them?Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:46 pm
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Report Mon Oct 24, 2011 - 12:28 amWho's talking about genetic manipulation? Who said they weren't happy with what they had? Who ever wishes for an unhealthy child? The blog pot is about a NATURAL to SKEW the genetics in your favor. Shhheeeesh. lighten up. and for the record, i have 2 and 2. But I tipped the geneticsto favor boys and I got them :)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Honest Mum on Fri Oct 28, 2011 at 1:45 pm
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