Best bust firming creams
If you've ever fed a child from your breast you will know what a saggy chesticle* can do to your self-esteem. And if like SJP you've even been driven to wearing your Rigby and Peller to bed you've probably spent a fair bit of time mulling the conundrum that is the 'bust-firming cream' industry. Do they work, do some, should I spend my precious pennies on them or just save up for another trip down lingerie lane? Well we've bared our breasts for your benefit to try out a fistful of lotions to see if there is an anti-gravity missile in a bottle we can resort to in our hour of need.
*Warning - this review is full of every euphenism for breasts we could *cough* lay our hands on. Except bangers.Clarins Gel Buste Super Lift 7 /10
A dewy serum oozes out of the pert little bottle into your palms. Doesn't look like much and with the promise of this being a 'bra in a bottle' I'm feeling fairly sceptical. And then as I apply the slightly sticky stuff into my scones and massage properly blow me but my bazookas suddenly feel firmer. No really. I don't know the science, and lord only knows how they do it but it does feel different. And with a double whammy in a G cup (no, I'm not kidding) there's a lot to perk up.
Available from Clarins.com (£38.50 for 50ml)
Liz Earle Superskin Bust Treatment 2/10
I love Liz Earle, her beauty polish cleanser rocks as does her Superskin Eye & Lip Treatment and I was willing this product to work but ...it didn't. Despite a pleasant botanical and lots of great sounding natural active ingredients it didn't firm or plump my spark plugs, although it did appear to give it a slightly smoother appearance on the satellite surface, then again this was probably no more than any other moisturiser would've done. Disappointing.
Available from uk.lizearle.com (£26)
Elemis Pro-Collagen Lifting treatment Neck & Bust 7/10
Elemis Pro-Collagen range are consistently good at skincare (I got this from a top beauty blogger - and they know their onions). Having never tried the Lifting Treatment I was fairly sure it wouldn't be totally useless but wasn't sure how well the delicate balance between moisturising and firming would work. Happily I can report with a smooth, rich cream formula it still seems to firm up while at the same time smoothing out the crepiness. The clinical trials showed a 33% reduction in skin crepiness with skin reportedly 17% firmer than before. Not sure what all that means but this did work as well as the Clarins at least and was nicer to use if, like me you prefer a cream, to a gel. This would have got an 8/10 but for the fact that it's £70. Which is a lot for a bust firmer.
Elemis Pro-Collagen Lifting Treatment Neck and Bust (£70) available from Timetospa.co.uk
One last thing - whether these creams will turn back the evil-man-hands of time when it comes to returning you your once pert and cheeky bosoms, is debatable. But what isn't is the fact that getting into the habit of massaging any cream into your decolletage and beyond, is a brilliant way to get to know your breasts. And therefore be alerted far more quickly to any dodgy bumps or lumps. And that makes sense to us.