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I'll do it my way
There are many fierce debates out there which rage and burn whole acres of blogdom. Feminism versus marriage (and subjugation of adopting husband's name). Glass ceilings. Breast-feeding versus bottle. Organic versus McDonald's. Gina Ford versus boundary-less child rearing. All have elements which annoy me, but they aren't my trigger issue. There may be one or two topics which become the straw on the proverbial dromedary.
One of mine is the debate of stay-at-home mums versus working mums, and the value that either woman apparently contributes to their family.
The stereotypes are unacceptable. The SAHM (or "Yummy Mummies" as Cherie put it, which is a SAHM with access to a husband's large income) drives a Chelsea Tractor, lunches with little Rupert and Jemima at a trendy corner café (the kids dressed head-to-toe in Boden and riding only in Silver Cross, of course), where manicured nails clutch the latest soy half-caf foaming non-fat mocha latte. The children go to private school when they do finally get up to school level, and the families later think tops and tails to dinner at Glyndebourne is, of course, the dog's bollocks. But the children are the single greatest focus of the Yummy Mummy's life, to the detriment of home, husband, and any potential contributions to society.
Meanwhile the working mum, she is the alpha female. Her business suits are sharply dry cleaned and worn under the latest from Burberry. She books time in her diary to attend her children's sports days during which she'll either cancel or use the time to clear mails in her Blackberry. Her children get home from school and mournfully open the front door of the house, which is cold and devoid of a maternal welcome, that maternal welcome later leading to civil unrest and years of therapy whereupon they will announce themselves victims of a neglected childhood.
I'm not going to address that either stereotype is a ridiculous generalization because there are many out there doing just that.
What I will say is this: it's a very divisive world we live in. Complex. It would be easier if media, celebrities and experts didn't spend time polarizing a world which already feeds on its own who choose differently. Like that song from the sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes": what might be right for you may not be right for some. Instead of thinking that the way we as individuals and families do things is the right way, the only way, what would be most useful is if people - like Cherie Blair, for example - would mind their business and raise their own families in the way they feel is best for them, and leave the rest of us to raise our families in the way we feel is best. We shouldn't have to agree. We should however be allowed to get on with our lives without the input from "experts" that we never knew we didn't need.
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Comments (21)
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Fri Jul 6, 2012 - 7:03 am
And these days everyone is an expert on everything.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by Joshua on Thu Dec 6, 2012 at 11:55 am
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Fri Jul 6, 2012 - 1:40 am
Hey Everyday Stranger, Thanks! Great Post. I believe I will just get on with it, without "expert" help. ( I rarely trust an expert anything)Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Everyday Stranger on Fri Jul 6, 2012 at 1:49 am
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Thu Jul 5, 2012 - 6:48 pm
It's labelling gone mad! Seriously, who cares. *Fingers in ears* "la la la la not listening!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Everyday Stranger on Thu Jul 5, 2012 at 7:09 pm
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