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I quit!
I love blogging.
Blogging, or rather the topics that I'm going to blog about, are quite literally constantly bouncing around in my head, as I mentally write and rewrite posts based on what I see, hear, and feel in my immediate or not so immediate surroundings.
Blogging has made me more in tune with my environment. I listen to conversations more intently. I study people's faces thoroughly. I eavesdrop like nobody's business. Most of what I think I will blog about never even makes it to a rough draft. But when I do blog, my rule is that I will never blog about something that I wouldn't say out loud.
And yet, when one of my teenagers told me that people at his school were approaching him, and saying that they were reading his mother's blog, my heart cartwheeled in my chest. In that instant, I realized that maybe I was also writing about things I wouldn't say out loud. Maybe in my blogging, I was taking my thoughts one step further; putting a spin on an otherwise boring conversation; throwing in words that are shocking and funny, and certainly not meant for adolescents.
In that instant I was ashamed of myself. Did I really want my children's teachers reading about my vagina? Would their friends make references about their mother's blog...or vagina? How embarrassing would it be for them to be walking down the hall, and have some stupid-ass teenager call out something as inappropriate about me, or about them, as I write in a post?
Immediately I deleted two years worth of posts on my personal blog. I wrote my editor here In the Powder Room and with a very heavy heart, I resigned my writing spot. I deactivated my Twitter account. I disabled the Facebook "Like" box on my personal blog.
I was done. That was it. I love and respect my children too much to be that "crazy" mother that we all remember from when we were teenagers; that mother who showed up at the school wearing two different shoes, carrying a crumpled, brown paper bag that she handed to her humiliated child.
I may not be walking through their hallways in mismatched shoes. But the written word can paint a far more vivid picture. I don't want that for my kids.
However, less than a week into my blogging retirement, my children came to me, and said something I'll never forget: "Mom, you shouldn't quit blogging. It's who you are."
It's who I am... Wow...
My kids are awesome.
They love me even though I am that crazy lady with the mismatched shoes.
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Comments (35)
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Report Mon Jun 25, 2012 - 7:13 amIf I learned anything from this, it is to keep up with my reading before you delete everything again and I am lost. Ok, so most of them are still in my emails, but the powder room ones I cannot access. I also admire your relationship with your children, you are open to their suggestions and keep their feelings in mind. And when I read the porn mom's comment about "things I didn't realize were affecting her", it made me realize that the fact that your kids are comfortable enough to even tell you to keep blogging is a big deal. Kids do have a hard time expressing themselves to their parents, but I see by your openness, you have made yourself more available to them.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by Sandra on Mon Jun 25, 2012 at 8:13 am
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Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 3:27 am
Sounds like you've got some great kids. Now turn that laptop back on, girl, because vaginas are awesome. Like, half of everyone I know has one!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Jun 23, 2012 at 5:26 am
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 9:53 amI am so glad you didn't quit. I can just imagine how scary it was to find out your teenagers friends where reading what you wrote. But you dear have the coolest kids on the planet! I love how they love you enough to let you be you, even if you do talk about vaginas a lot. (which by the way is totally cool)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:11 am
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 10:08 amSimply said. "BRAVO". For you and your kids!!!! Well done!!!! I am considerably older than you BUT I am finally discovering me!!!!! Bravo!! For discovering you now! Your kids are AWESOME!!! You've obviously dome something right!!!!!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:10 am
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 10:25 amYour children are as fabulous in their collective wisdom as you are in your ability to command an audience through your writing. So keep fighting the good fight. But I love that you are mindful of them. Their feelings. Their concerns.. Their teenager-ness. You *can* walk the line on this issue. Truthful writer and kick-ass mom are not mutually exclusive. xoxoReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:07 am
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Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 11:10 am
I'm So glad you didn't quit. But I will tell you that I worked in the Porn business for 10 years while my kids were in elementary through high school and my daughter does have some stories about things she wasn't happy about. Things I didn't realize were affecting her. It's good to see that you're listening to what you're kids are saying. It's a fine line. But not one that can't be walked.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:06 am
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Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 12:01 pm
As you know I think your blog rocks and I am glad you are haning around as you would be missed your posts are not crude, rude or in anyway bad.........in my opinion.................Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:04 am
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 3:15 pmI would say the kiddos don't fall far from the tree. They're AWESOME and so are YOU! You've got the stamp of approval from your kids. You need nothing more. I am so proud for you to have such wonderful little spirits in your home. :) They deserve a party!!! :DReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:04 am
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 3:22 pmThere are far worse things to be addicted to...like monkey porn...Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:01 am
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 9:10 pmGreat post, honest and real. What is wrong with mismatched shoes anyway?? ( i do anything to make people go Hmmm? .) :)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:01 am
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Report Thu Jun 14, 2012 - 8:15 pmHave you picked out which two different shoes you'll be wearing? Blogging is a moody wench. Too personal? Not personal enough? Have I outgrown this blog and need a sparkly new one? We're all supporting you through this struggle you're going through right now. Have a great summer!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 8:06 am
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Report Thu Jun 14, 2012 - 8:17 pmYour kids are awesome and so are you. I'm tearing up over here because of how thoughtful your kids are. It's who they are.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 8:06 am
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Report Thu Jun 14, 2012 - 9:35 pmI think the crazy mom's were always the fun mom's. Plus, I like that you are constantly talking about a vaginas. There is something so freeing about that, I believe. I introduced your blog to some co-workers and we would laugh and laugh. You need not quit blogging (or entertaining us for that matter). We need your spin on life for a reality check! You're kids are as awesome as you are!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 8:05 am
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Thu Jun 14, 2012 - 11:17 pm
Phew - we were all worried and there was an empty space in our world. Glad you are sticking with it!! Hurrah!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 8:04 am
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 4:01 amYou are doing the right thing, and am so glad you are not quitting. I hope you transfered your posts so that you can look back on them. I would hate to think that they are gone forever. Blessings, JoanneReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 8:04 am
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 4:18 amI can't tell you how happy I am that you're back In The Powder Room!!! Your kids are freakin' awesome. Those apples did NOT fall far from the vagina!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 8:03 am
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Thu Jun 14, 2012 - 7:27 pm
You've got some pretty cool kids there! I can totally understand and the first time I was confronted about something I said on my blog, I did that heart-stomach-cartwheel thing... and I'm meant to be somewhat anonymous. FECK. Luckily, I don't have to make any decisions surrounding how it affects my children at school for a quite some time, but I'm sure that day will come.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Thu Jun 14, 2012 at 7:39 pm
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