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What she's really thinking when you're inside her
I came across a truly ‘fascinating' article the other day while browsing.
The article was "A Dude's perspective - 11 things he's thinking while he's inside you." The full article can be found here.
The 11 things that they had listed were these:
1. "Not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet (ad infinitum)."
2. "Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies" (repeat until ejaculation).
3. "Is she done yet?"
4. "Would she freak out if I put a finger up her ass?"
5. "I'm doing it as hard as I can!"
6. "My thighs are BURNING."
7. "Effing condoms, I can't FEEL ANYTHING!"
8. "God, this feels good."
9. "I should have jacked off today."
10. "I shouldn't have jacked off today."
11.
"Thundercats are GOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Well. That sure puts things in a new perspective. I don't know about all you other ladies out there, but I for one know that when I'm ‘doing the deed' I'm generally thinking about a thousand and one other things, and from conversations with friends I think that most women are the same. We always get annoyed with a man's lack of ability to focus on nothing other than what he's doing at the time, but I think in this context that's easily the best way to be!
1. Do I look fat/ugly doing this?
With us women, there's the "What position makes my stomach look flat, my thighs look skinny and my bum look good?" thought that's a constant throughout the act. There's the "Am I pulling really strange faces?" worry that features quite heavily, and the "If he's at that angle, I look like I've got a double chin. Quick, move!" that comes in second place.
Still, these are, I think, quite natural things to be thinking - if we're sharing an intimate moment with somebody and of course we want them to see us at our best.
2. I must put a wash on/I wonder whether I can still get away with wearing shorts/why is that woman at work such a HUGE bitch...
More worryingly is when, for whatever reason, your mind starts drifting. We all know women are generally better than men at multitasking, but there are certain situations when we should really focus on the task in hand. All it takes though is a momentary glance at some dirty washing and we're thinking of how we should really put that load on before we go to bed, and will we have time to dry it before the morning? A look at the clock can easily remind us of an important appointment that we'd forgotten about for the next day that we just HAVE to prepare for, and the list just goes on. Of course, as soon as you've started to worry about whatever it is you've just remembered, you forget completely what you're doing, then come to a few moments later with a start, having to make appreciative noises very quickly so your man doesn't realise you've just completely phased out...
3. Edgar Allan Poe
I think a huge part of it can be contributed to the fact that we lead such busy lives, and it's impossible to remember everything that we have to think about on a daily basis. With men being men though, it's quite easy for us to get away with it. They're so focused on the task at hand that as long as we don't give the game away by saying something stupid, we're ok. I remember one horrific experience from years back with an ex-partner (something I'd managed to completely blank out before writing this) when we were mid-coitus. I honestly have no idea how the thought process came about, but as things were steaming up I blurted out "D'ya like Edgar Allan Poe? I haven't read any of his stuff for ages..."
Needless to say, moment ruined.
It's very easy to get into a routine with sex, especially if you've been with somebody for a considerable amount of time. I think part of the problem is because it's not new and exciting we don't pay as much attention to the act itself as we should do, and this affects the whole experience. From now on I'm going to make a conscious decision to concentrate solely on what I'm doing and the man I'm doing it with - no more dirty washing, tasks to do or poetry. And I'm going to see just how much of a difference that makes!
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Comments (15)
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Report Sat Jun 4, 2011 - 11:55 pmI agree to all of the above. However, I tend to fall into the category of "close your eyes and pretend he's the boy you loved in high school"...don't judge.Reply -
Report Sat Jun 4, 2011 - 9:47 pmOh, honey, if your thinking about Edgar Allen Poe or doing the laundry then he's noting doing it very well.Reply
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Report Tue May 31, 2011 - 10:16 pmI have to say that I only ever sat there thinking about washing and work when I was having sex with boring guys. My current bf, even now after 3 years I am thinking phwoar look at his chest, mmm feel those shoulders and mmmmm faster harder and of course the usual I need to hide this flab and that flab out of sight. I never think about anything other than what we are doing at the time :) It makes things much more satisfying :)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by DJ_Zahrim on Thu Jun 2, 2011 at 9:22 pm
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Thu Jun 2, 2011 - 9:21 pm
To be fair though if he is doing the job properly then he is all you should be thinking about, it should all be about passion and fire, ok sure when you have been together a long time with someone it does die down, there can be a million and one things that might get in the way but then both parties should then make an effort to find time for each other & make it more exciting. There is nothing better than losing yourself in the moment when you feel that the whole world is just you and him and nothing else matters, if you have never had that... them I'm not sorry for you, as I have no doubt you will one day. You just wait :) Liv3 in the moment!Reply -
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Thu Jun 2, 2011 - 5:44 pm
I actually asked a question about this on a forum a few months ago - here is my answer: slappyintheface posted this, 110 days ago I took off work yesterday (one of the twins got her braces put on yesterday morning and we got done earlier that we thought so I didn't go back to work) and the hubby poured me a biiiiiiig glass of wine and one thing lead to another and well ... NAKED DANCE PARTY !!! but I had so much to get done that my mind started to wander ... ... if the roast beef sandwich at Arby's had 10 points, the side salad had 2 and the ranch dressing had 6, how many points do I have left for dinner? 33-10-2-6 .... I calculated this in my head about ten times ... hey it's Thursday - what comes on TV on Thursday nights? The Office ... Parks and Recreation ... 30 Rock ... awesome ! maybe I will have time to take a bath and read before then ... if he will huuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrry up !!! ... his nose is running ... ON MY FACE !!! ... wouldn't this be a funny question on the Dooce Community? I should post it tomorrow ... oh wait .. maybe that would be too inappropriate ... did I just hear my cell phone vibrate?Reply -
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Wed Jun 1, 2011 - 12:16 am
Heehehe Great topic - like you I'm always getting distracted especially when the babies cry! I wish I could focus my brain at the time too... But the most prominent thought I think and I'm sure I'm not alone in this goes something like: "just a little to the left, no not down there, up, up, that's it ahhhhhhh, no no no don't move your hand away again .... bloody hell should I just move his hand myself... done...good....ahhhhhh" Nicole http://www.myidealife.com.auReply -
1 reply, Last reply by Jean James on Wed Jun 1, 2011 at 11:58 am
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Report Wed Jun 1, 2011 - 5:34 amSometimes I sing Disney songs or the theme from Phineas and Ferb...."There's 104 days of summer vacation and school comes along just to end it...." but for the most part I'm in the moment as well. I think about things I want my husband to do, then to my surprise a few seconds later he does it. Now that's what I call mind over "matter"!Reply -
Report Tue May 31, 2011 - 10:44 amVery funny post! I tend to be distracted by the noise factor and whether it will wake my daughter and put her off sex for life.I don't mind if it puts her off til she's 21 - in fact it's a good idea, but I don't want to feel responsible for her having sexual hang ups because she used to hear her folks at it!!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by DrunkMummy on Wed Jun 1, 2011 at 3:43 am
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Tue May 31, 2011 - 3:08 pm
Staying focused and in the moment is all well and good until one of the children (you tried to bribe to leave you alone for awhile) knock at the door right as your about to reach your pinnacle and BAM! it's all over.Reply -
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Tue May 31, 2011 - 12:58 pm
I'm more of an "in the moment" kind of gal, too. This might change once I have kids, though...Reply -
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Tue May 31, 2011 - 9:21 am
So funny! Although I think I'm with Selena on this one, the thought of dirty washing doesn't distract me! And re: the double chin/cellulite thing...dim lighting, always more flattering ;-)Reply -
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Tue May 31, 2011 - 5:26 am
Oh my gosh, apparently I am in the minority, because when I'm having sex, I can think of nothing other what's going on in the moment! Perhaps I've been lucky but I tend to find myself with guys who, well, don't make me think of Edgar Allen Poe, dirty laundry, or double chins when we're doing it!Reply
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