In The Powder Room

We've all been treated to the drivel and propaganda that size doesn't matter. We're grown up women. We all know what that is in reference to. We all know that this is an axiom created by men for men in an effort to persuade the "little women" who have no sense, of course, that little appendages are every bit as satisfying to women as those Johnsons that are the size of an elephant's.

I say to each his own and I wouldn't emasculate any man who is not well-endowed - because it certainly isn't his fault. He got what he got, just as women get the body parts that they get. And there are always ways to make up for what may be lacking.

However,  if size doesn't matter when it comes to penises why is there such emphasis placed on virtually every part of a woman's body, some of which I had never bothered to look at, let alone examine, and probably didn't even know the proper name until recently (and I'm 57 years old)? Why is there a focus on the size and design of a woman's labia?

I figure a large part of the blame and this prurient interest in particular body parts body is courtesy of the porn industry. Before pornography became so ubiquitous only gynecologists and obstetricians saw the nether regions, along with sexual partners who may or may not have kept their eyes closed or at least kept their findings to themselves. Discretion is the better part of valor, you know.

Don't we have enough to worry about without inventing problems? I mean, if the only thing you have to worry about is the size or shape of your labia then you've got it made.

The porn industry probably is also responsible for popularizing what strikes me as passing off a mature vagina as that of a seven-year-old who has yet to go through puberty, which I find incredibly creepy.  But then I'm not a man so I don't know what they think about this and I'm damned if I'm going to ask.

Gee whiz, now you can beautify your labia (I can't help myself; I'm chuckling) via a labiaplasty. That's right at the top of my bucket list. Not! You can also opt for a vaginoplasty that "rejuvenates" your vagina.

Woman can opt to "sculpt" their labia so that they can have a better look. Hmmm. I don't know what a better or good look is. How do these women even know what it looks like? They must have spent a good amount of time with a mirror in between their legs. Study sessions, I guess. These surgeries can return you to the youthful look that you had when you were younger. Okay, now I'm really guffawing. I wouldn't know a youthful labia from a senior citizen labia.

Maybe I need to get with the program; on second thought, not. I'll leave the worrying about size to the guys.