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I'm a better mother on the sauce
Last week Clare, Lerner, and Heidi all discussed their drinking habits, so I thought it only befitting that I belly up to the bar {ahem} and confess about my own love affair with the bottle. There's strength in numbers, after all.
So yes, I drink a little.
I had my first drink when I was 13 at a friend's house: Sloe Gin mixed with 7-UP. They went down smooth and easy and left one hell of a stain on my mother's carpet when I upchucked them in the middle of the night. Sorry about that, Mom.
The next two decades are a blur.
Sure, there were times I drank too much and ended up in potentially dangerous situations. If I hadn't been so drunk maybe I wouldn't have gone home with that guy, or started that knife fight, or jumped off that roof into that motel pool. Never did find that bra, by the way.
I guess I'm lucky to have survived. Aren't we all?
Nowadays, I'm a busy work-from-home mother of three children and my tastes have evolved to wine...one or two glasses every night.
Sometimes when I'm really busy, if I make it to 8 PM without a glass, I can go without and not even miss it.
But most days, I'm looking at my watch around mid-afternoon wondering when it will be acceptable for me to pour my first glass and take the edge off. Wine O'Clock varies based on the day, the weather, and my menstrual cycle.
I will tell you, though: even though I like my wine, I have never put my children in any danger while under the influence, at least none that I can remember.
Kidding. No need to phone that one in, okay?
I have friends who are alcoholics and others who are teetotalers. One thing that is universal: people want to label others. It makes us feel better. My friends who drink tell me there is nothing wrong with my daily drinking habits, "You're not an alcoholic! I drink way more than you do." While the ones who abstain say the opposite: "You drink EVERYDAY? Whoa."
Sometimes it's hard to know what's normal.
One of my friends and her husband recently gave up drinking all together. They were concerned they had been setting a poor example for their kids.
I argue that if my kids see me drink responsibly, in moderation, maybe they will learn how to do that for themselves someday.
My parents definitely didn't drink on a daily basis when I was a kid, and look how I turned out.
One thing I know for sure, after a long day in the suburbs, a little nip of wine soothes my savage inner beast. It quiets the voices in my head, as well as those nagging/whining/crying/fighting little voices outside of my head.
I'm a better mother on the sauce. Just ask my kids. Wherever they are.
Cheers!
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Comments (42)
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Report Tue Dec 20, 2011 - 4:54 pmI do find that wine o'clock comes much earlier during the holidays too... can't think why.Reply -
Report Sat Dec 17, 2011 - 8:55 amI had my college slush years (it is likely why I don't remember much of my 20's, and how I GOT those children...), and then I settled down to my wine (or sweet, mixed drink) in the evening habit. Ya'll might, or might not, be pleased to know that once the kids were REALLY gone (unlikely to bounce back) I just.....stopped drinking. No, I didn't DECIDE to quit drinking. It was more that one day, I didn't feel like a second glass. Then, there were days I unintentionally skipped my wine. No actually THOUGHT into it, I was just drinking less and less...until one day, I went to get a glass, had to brush dust off of the bottle, and found out it had turned. Hmmmm, it had sat there so long it had TURNED. There is currently a bottle of good Merlot in my refrigerator...I am sure that one day, I will get around to opening it. It has been in there around 6 months now.... At any rate, this experience has caused me to come to the conclusion that CHILDREN drive one to drink.Reply
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6 replies, Last reply by CaliannG on Mon Dec 19, 2011 at 10:40 pm
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Report Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 10:18 amOoh great piece. I don't drink every day but mainly because I'm the personality type that wouldn't find it easy to stop at one or two glasses. Once the bottle's open it seems a shame not to polish it off, so I save my wino instincts for Friday nights. Probably way healthier the way you do it, though.Reply -
3 replies, Last reply by Heidi_Scrimgeour on Fri Dec 16, 2011 at 9:28 pm
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Report Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 6:23 pmSo, needless to say, you are no longer friends with non-drinkers... right?!?! I find it odd when people announce "Oh, I don't drink" - it makes me wonder (and sorta hope) there is some sorted story there... My dad joined AA when I was in 5th grade. I did NOT grow up to be an alcoholic... just more of a "connoisseur" :-)Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Jane on Fri Dec 16, 2011 at 5:44 pm
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Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 9:00 pm
mmmm, sauce. wait, that wasn't very insightful was it? :)Reply -
Report Wed Dec 14, 2011 - 7:29 amI'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, and I'm sure many will rail against this comment... however I, too, would love to indulge every night, so please don't think I'm judging anybody. But the facts are - alcohol Is physically bad for you. Period. (I'm not talking about beneficial / relaxant psychological effects). The only benefit ever ascribed to alcohol - those of the antioxidant effects of red wine - have been proven to be due to the grape juice. You can get all of those benefits by eating red grapes, without the harmful effects of the alcohol. Alcohol is a solvent. It is bad for our bodies, even in small amounts. The Cancer Council would love to see alcohol exposed for what it is - an addictive carcinogen. But the alcohol industry ensures that medical evidence is buried. And alcohol is too ingrained in our culture for people to want to listen. I firmly believe ( and yep, I'm a Dr) that eventually alcohol will be viewed the same as cigarettes - there are no physical benefits and lots of harm from their consumption. Will alcohol ever be as restricted as cigarettes? Maybe not, as you can sit next to someone having a drink and not get the equivalent of passive smoke. Do I drink? Absolutely. I love it. But I don't try to convice myself that it's fine just because I want to do it. I'm aware that it's not good for me and I limit how much and how many times a week I drink. Just like saturated fat. It's always bad, but often irresistable!Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Dec 14, 2011 at 11:13 am
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Report Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 6:12 pmI started drinking wine when the boys hit their early teens, then graduated to gin and vodka (it's clear and looks like Sprite) when the first one started to drive. As they left home I went back to wine but how they're all doing The Bungee trick BOING back into the house...and I'm returning to vodka and gin. As long as there is a reasonably responsible driver in the house, moderation isn't an issue. And yes, I am a MUCH better mother because of it. No one has died and that proves it.Reply
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5 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Dec 14, 2011 at 11:09 am
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Report Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 11:38 pmFabulous, as usual!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Dec 14, 2011 at 11:08 am
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Report Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 10:58 pmI'm with the majority here. I rarely go without a 5pm glass of wine. I certainly don't wait for the kids to go to bed , the whole point for me is that it helps chill me for that hectic 5-8pm period! I rarely drink after 8pm so I judge that as acceptable! I never used to drink this much and I have a generous couple of glasses. I do wonder whether I have an issue , as I would struggle to do what Heidi does (how do you do it?!) I suppose it's a habit you have to break and that requires effort I'm not prepared to do in winter!Reply
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3 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Dec 13, 2011 at 11:50 pm
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Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 6:35 pm
i'm in the same boat as you, and god it sways gently once the motors been oiled. but medical people would say 1-2 glasses a day an alcoholic makes......i just choose not to believe them M2MReply -
2 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Dec 13, 2011 at 6:58 pm
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Report Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 5:44 pmMy mother started at noon with wine in her coffee cup and didn't stop. This was after she spent my childhood on scotch. So I suppose I'm a little on the near side of "how much is too much" since I was stuck raising my three brothers. I suspect it's why I didn't want kids.... Not that I didn't go through my stage of woo hoo I'm 18 (I'm old) and I can now drink. So forgive me if I'm a bit touchy on this one. Pricilla says thank you for the mention of her monkey fartsReply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Dec 13, 2011 at 6:21 pm
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Report Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 2:26 pmI think you're right about your children seeing your drink responsibly. My parents always had a beer at dinner and I never thought it was a big deal. That is contrary to some friends of mine who couldn't wait to hammer down the forbidden drink when we got to college because their parents harped on them too much. Now that I'm a mom, I look forward to a little glass of something after bedtime and my children see their parents enjoy a drink together on vacation. As long as you're not cracking open the "AM Ale" with your french toast stix, I say enjoy it!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Dec 13, 2011 at 3:19 pm
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Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 11:04 am
I am a better everything on the sauce!! *In my head* Although, clearly I am hilarious when pissed (Brit for drunk not angry) which I am pretty sure you must be too. Do you think our children would be safe if we were neighbours? I think we would be totally under the affluence of incohol often!!!!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Dec 13, 2011 at 2:09 pm
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Report Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 1:32 pmI am soooo glad you wrote this. Our habits are very similar (great minds!). I enjoy two drinks every day, and I feel it makes me a happier person and mother. My mom didn't drink at all, and looked down on those who did. She also spent much of her life angry and unhappy. What's right/What's wrong? Like you, I feel as long as my kids are safe and I am kind to them, that's what matters.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Dec 13, 2011 at 2:08 pm
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