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Facebook breakups
In a hot tub beneath the stars with my lover.
That's a great Facebook status, for the lovers involved. For the heart broken ex-lover of the person posting that comment, it can be devastating. You were once the subject of his postings, and now with a broken heart you must change your status to fit your new position in his life.
Status: It's Complicated
It can also be almost impossible NOT to keep reading about what your ex is doing, although you really don't want to know. It's like being drawn to a horrible car accident on the side of the road. You keep hoping you'll read something negative about the new girlfriend. Or a comparison to the last lover (you) a glimpse that yes, he made a mistake. He misses you. He really wishes he were with you and not her.
Way back when before the Internet and Facebook, I had the opportunity (if you could call it that) to watch my ex-boyfriend with the girl next door. I knew they had been dating but until that night, I hadn't actually seen them together. And then there they were - in plain sight. All I had to do was look through my window into her house.
They kissed. They hugged. They laughed. My heart shattered into a million pieces. An unbearable pain, which I thought I'd never live through, seared through my body. It was pure torture. Yet, I didn't turn away. Fortunately, they left the house and then I was only left to my imagination to conjure up scenarios of their behavior.
Status: Torn Up & Tortured
But with Facebook and Twitter, one can go on torturing themselves forever. You can unfriend the ex, but then you may still be friends with his friends and their friends and it could go on forever, much like tracing your ancestors back to the Mayflower. And then how do you go about untagging yourself from all those photos where you're happily involved with this man who is still "in a relationship," but unfortunately not with you. You can easily delete his face from the pictures on your hard drive or your camera, but it's inevitable that you'll see your happy faces pop up together every now and then somewhere in cyberspace.
Status: Sadly Single Says So Long
So, I say break up with Facebook for a while. Don't torture yourself with the urge to follow his actions. Oh, yes, it will be tough at first. But then one day, you'll realize you don't give a shit about that guy anymore. You've moved on.
And Facebook will be happy to take you back.
Status: Free To Be Me Again
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Comments (18)
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Tue Jul 5, 2011 - 10:06 pm
Facebook is an airbrushed life. Breaking up is a good suggestion or posting your own hot posts, who knows for sure, it's not really real!Reply -
5 replies, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 7, 2011 at 2:10 pm
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Report Wed Jul 6, 2011 - 7:15 pmThe whole social networking land of fake friends is almost surreal - if an alien came down to earth it would think we are all bonkers!!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Jul 7, 2011 at 3:52 am
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Report Tue Jul 5, 2011 - 4:50 pmAh, I'm glad I was dating before all the technology and social networking. Back then you didn't know what a guy was doing unless you drove by his house or called his home phone and hung up...not that I ever did anything like that....Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 6, 2011 at 1:24 am
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Report Tue Jul 5, 2011 - 3:51 pmThat's a lot to think about, Janie. Social networking can definitely be a problem when relationships go awry. There's even been something in the news about a woman posting personal information about her husband's ex-wife on Craigslist, complete with an ad soliciting sex!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 6, 2011 at 1:23 am
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Report Tue Jul 5, 2011 - 3:39 pmI am not in this position, but I think this is a great article. makes sense. Facebook opens a whole new world of relationship issues :)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 6, 2011 at 1:23 am
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Report Tue Jul 5, 2011 - 3:30 pmExcellent post! This also works when it's a close friend you've had to "break up" with. Thanks!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Jul 6, 2011 at 1:22 am
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Report Tue Jul 5, 2011 - 2:18 pmWhat a relevant and timely topic, Janie! I know lots of people go through this...and then there's the thought, too, that your ex "unfriends" you first. UGH. Another thought, if you're still "friends" with your ex, is making sure his statues don't come up on your feed. (There's a way to do that.) Could soften the blow as you work through the transitions.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Tue Jul 5, 2011 at 2:38 pm
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