Making my own fun
I've often said I know how to make my own fun. When I sat through all thirteen hours of the Hobbit last Christmas, I swore I would take a hip flask to the next seven parts and drink every time there was an unnecessary reprise of the ‘The Shire' theme music or a helicopter shot. And yes, "make my own fun" often means "get very drunk." Let's be very clear about this.
Recently, however, I've been devising a non-drinking game called ‘Sounds like...' where you have to match one group of words with another. Categories might include:
1. Car names that sound like condom brands
e.g. Hi-Lux, Elantra, Captiva, Lancer Evolution
2. Herbs that sound like characters from Lord of The Rings
Tarragon, son of Aragorn!
Calendula, Lady of the Golden Wood!
Star of Anise...may it be a light to you in dark places where all other lights go out!
3. IT companies that either sound like intergalactic species from Star Trek OR song titles from a latter day Prince album
For example: Votech, Actix, Securiton, Xpd8, Axsapt, Gui-Tek, Prolificx, Binarix, Ortm8.
4. Paint colours that sound like holiday packages in Thailand
For example: Coral Atoll, Cinnamon Sand, Shell Haven, Favourite Lady, Pale Oriental, Hog Bristle, Creamed Muscat, Annular, Old Ruin, Light Leather.
5. Ikea product names that sound like sexual positions.
For example: BEDDINGE LÖVÅS, LYCKESELE HAVET, KNUBBIG, ANSLUTA, DOMBÅS, ROCKHAMMAR, RAMSJÖ, ÅRSTA, ÅKERFRÄKEN, TRÅDKLÖVER.
Yeah, yeah. I know what you're all thinking. You're thinking I should forget the parlor games and stick to drinking in dark cinemas, right? Well, let me pick you up in my Ford Cougar and let's go paint the town ‘Nut milk' to persuade you otherwise.
The formerly fashionable NDM had three children and discovered that brown is the new black the hard way. The force behind the critically acclaimed once-was-blog Not Drowning, Mothering, she now very occasionally writes for the sometimes-blog Queen NDM, The Best. In her spare time, she enjoys baking cakes, cyber-hassling advertising executives and collecting digital photos of unusual objects made out of paperclips. She's occasionally on Twitter (@TheNDM) and Facebook as well.