Spectacular! (My new glasses)
Attention, everybody: I just got some new glasses.
Of course the main problem with getting new glasses is you can't wear your old glasses while choosing new frames. So when you pick up the final product, there's always that slight gap between what you *thought* you looked like in your new frames and what you *actually* look like. It's a bit like going supermarket shopping while starving -- you end up with a pantry full of pickles. Except in this case, you end up wearing the pickles on your face.
Another problem is the cost. Glasses are expensive. I don't know why I resent paying so much money for something I wear every single waking hour of my life, but I do. I resent the hell out of it and I inevitably end up choosing frames based on price, totally overlooking the fact that a $175 difference in price now is actually the difference between spending the next three years looking like Christina Hendricks in glasses or looking like Dustin Hoffman in 'Tootsie'.
Yet another problem is fashion. I mean, just the word 'fashion' is, like, so last sentence already. Harem trousers and self-bedazzled belts can be hidden in the back of the wardrobe but your glasses have to stay on your face. And if your face, like mine, is no longer in the 25 - 39 age group, any attempt to be fashionable runs the risk of tipping you into the Women Of A Certain Age category and then it's a one-way ticket on the express train to brightly coloured multifocals.
So yes, there's this thing with me and my new glasses where I've ended up looking like I shopped for them at the REJECT Shop while shit-faced drunk and on the dark side of the wrong side of 40. Um, so why did I bring your attention to them again? Oh, I know. Because the biggest problem of all with new glasses is that you can spend as much time and as much money as you want buying them but at the end of the day, nobody will notice. Nobody. Even when you point your new frames out, they'll just look at you vaguely and say "Have you always worn glasses?" or maybe even "Have we met?". It's then that the glasses come into their own. I just take them off and pretend the blurry shape I'm talking to is someone far more interesting. There's got to be some benefits to failing eyesight, right?
The formerly fashionable NDM had three children and discovered that brown is the new black the hard way. The force behind the critically acclaimed once-was-blog Not Drowning, Mothering, she now very occasionally writes for the sometimes-blog Queen NDM, The Best. In her spare time, she enjoys baking cakes, cyber-hassling advertising executives and collecting digital photos of unusual objects made out of paperclips. She's occasionally onTwitter and Facebook as well.