In The Powder Room

Feb 18

Simple systems for everyday life

Comments (8) by TheNDM February 18, 2013 - 7:01 AM

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Here in Melbourne, Australia, catching public transport often feels like being caught in a Catch 22 situation. I'd call it a Catch Public Transport 22' situation except neither the gag nor the situation are even vaguely funny. Let me explain: in order to catch the bus to the train station, I need to have a ticket that I can only buy at the train station that I'm catching the bus to. To put it more plainly, if I misplace my ticket before I leave for work, I'm up shit creek without a valid ticket.

You'll be pleased to know that I have a system to avoid this vicious circle. It involves always returning the ticket back in a certain pocket of my purse NO MATTER WHAT. Of course I rarely actually manage to do that and am even less likely to know where I've put my purse to put the ticket in it, but that's neither here nor there. The point is that there is a system in place.

Why, I have many systems in place to deal with the daily trials and tribulations of life, some of which I choose to share with you now. Read on to rock your world...

Are your children always losing their socks and shoes just as you need to leave the house?Once removed from their original packaging, socks and shoes should be immediately secured into place on the children's feet using gaffer tape. The socks and shoes should then be worn until they naturally disintegrate, after which they can be replaced by new ones.

Do you often return library books way past their due date?After much early experimentation with systems such as sticking the library docket to the fridge door and having the due date tattooed on the forehead of my first born, I've concluded that the only way to avoid late fines and missing book fees is if the books never leave the library in the first place. Now trust me: that shit right there is foolproof.

Are you forever misplacing the top of the 3L milk carton? No problem! Never ever remove it and it will never get lost. Never removing the lid will also help you avoid ever running out of milk. You're welcome.

Do you struggle to keep the kitchen clean? Forget strategies such as clean as you go' and use child labour'. Simply open another bottle of wine instead of cooking dinner. It really is that easy.

Getting stressed by the kids at shit o'clock? Simply open another bottle of wine.

Facing writer's block and unsure of how to finish this post? Wine.

Running out of wine? More wine.

More wine? Yes, please.

The formerly fashionable NDM had three children and discovered that brown is the new black the hard way. The force behind the critically acclaimed once-was-blog Not Drowning, Mothering, she now very occasionally writes for the sometimes-blog Queen NDM, The Best. In her spare time, she enjoys baking cakes, cyber-hassling advertising executives and collecting digital photos of unusual objects made out of paperclips. She's occasionally onTwitter and Facebook as well.

by TheNDM February 18, 2013 - 7:01 AM

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  Report Tue Feb 19, 2013 - 11:20 pm

  by  Toni

  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!! I totally support the library strategy!!! If we go to the library (and that is a BIG IF) absolutely nothing comes home.... I don't have room in my melting, scrambled, mess of a brain to remember anything else!!!

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• 1 reply, Last reply by TheNDM on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 5:01 am
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  Report Wed Feb 20, 2013 - 5:01 am

  by  TheNDM

  @Toni: Aw thanks, Toni. Personally speaking, I'd go to the library more often if it served wine...

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  Report Mon Feb 18, 2013 - 7:21 pm

  by  Alexis

  I love this! I may have also fallen *just* a tiny bit in love with you for using the word *gaffer*. Not duct. Not ordinance.....Gaffer tape. As used by gaffers! and me. It's also a much better idea than staples which had been causing odd rust stains on my husbands socks. But then he had stopped asking me if I knew where the other sock was

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• 1 reply, Last reply by TheNDM on Tue Feb 19, 2013 at 7:39 am
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  Report Tue Feb 19, 2013 - 7:39 am

  by  TheNDM

  @Alexis: I've never been quite sure what a gaffer is but I just know that I'd like one if I met one because they'd have gaffer tape on them and it's hard to think of any quick fix that couldn't benefit from the use of gaffer tape. Nice thinking with the staples, by the way. Did you staple the socks *onto* your husband's feet? I'd like to think so...

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  Report Mon Feb 18, 2013 - 5:02 pm

  by  rootietoot

  Wine works for me. The shoes and socks thing...tho. It sounds good but foot rot is probably the grossest thing ever and I have 4 sons. I buy them all the same size/type of socks and keep them in a basket for them to forage through. When the basket is empty, I buy more socks. I tried buying the same size shoes but one kid is an adult 11EEE and the other is a child 9AA and the large wide shoes interfered with his soccer game.

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• 1 reply, Last reply by TheNDM on Tue Feb 19, 2013 at 7:34 am
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  Report Tue Feb 19, 2013 - 7:34 am

  by  TheNDM

  @rootietoot: Just the words 'foot rot' had me reaching for the wine again...

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  Report Mon Feb 18, 2013 - 6:54 pm

  by  lhewitt

  My world is now rocked. I don't know how I am going to get wine on the bus to catch the train to get to you in Australia, but I am sure I can work something out.

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• 1 reply, Last reply by TheNDM on Tue Feb 19, 2013 at 6:04 am
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  Report Tue Feb 19, 2013 - 6:04 am

  by  TheNDM

  @lhewitt: This must happen. MUST. I have a feeling you and I could ride the buses together, a box of wine between us. I think the buses can even fit through the local drive-through liquor store...

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