Simple systems for everyday life
Here in Melbourne, Australia, catching public transport often feels like being caught in a Catch 22 situation. I'd call it a Catch Public Transport 22' situation except neither the gag nor the situation are even vaguely funny. Let me explain: in order to catch the bus to the train station, I need to have a ticket that I can only buy at the train station that I'm catching the bus to. To put it more plainly, if I misplace my ticket before I leave for work, I'm up shit creek without a valid ticket.
You'll be pleased to know that I have a system to avoid this vicious circle. It involves always returning the ticket back in a certain pocket of my purse NO MATTER WHAT. Of course I rarely actually manage to do that and am even less likely to know where I've put my purse to put the ticket in it, but that's neither here nor there. The point is that there is a system in place.
Why, I have many systems in place to deal with the daily trials and tribulations of life, some of which I choose to share with you now. Read on to rock your world...
Are your children always losing their socks and shoes just as you need to leave the house?Once removed from their original packaging, socks and shoes should be immediately secured into place on the children's feet using gaffer tape. The socks and shoes should then be worn until they naturally disintegrate, after which they can be replaced by new ones.
Do you often return library books way past their due date?After much early experimentation with systems such as sticking the library docket to the fridge door and having the due date tattooed on the forehead of my first born, I've concluded that the only way to avoid late fines and missing book fees is if the books never leave the library in the first place. Now trust me: that shit right there is foolproof.
Are you forever misplacing the top of the 3L milk carton? No problem! Never ever remove it and it will never get lost. Never removing the lid will also help you avoid ever running out of milk. You're welcome.
Do you struggle to keep the kitchen clean? Forget strategies such as clean as you go' and use child labour'. Simply open another bottle of wine instead of cooking dinner. It really is that easy.
Getting stressed by the kids at shit o'clock? Simply open another bottle of wine.
Facing writer's block and unsure of how to finish this post? Wine.
Running out of wine? More wine.
More wine? Yes, please.
The formerly fashionable NDM had three children and discovered that brown is the new black the hard way. The force behind the critically acclaimed once-was-blog Not Drowning, Mothering, she now very occasionally writes for the sometimes-blog Queen NDM, The Best. In her spare time, she enjoys baking cakes, cyber-hassling advertising executives and collecting digital photos of unusual objects made out of paperclips. She's occasionally onTwitter and Facebook as well.