If Pollyanna had a period

Jan 31

If Pollyanna had a period

Comments (79)

by The Bearded Iris January 31, 2012 - 7:01 AM

There's a brand of menstrual pads in my neck of the woods with the tagline "Have a happy period."

What?

A happy period?

I've been menstruating for 28 years. Factoring in three pregnancies, I estimate that I have had approximately 300 menstrual cycles thus far in my lifetime. Believe me when I tell you that not a single one of those has ever been what I would call a happy period.

According to my family history, I've got around 20 more years of this to go. By the time it's all said and done, I will have had about 576 periods. And at an average of 6 days each, that will equate to approximately 3,456 days of my life hemorrhaging from my hoo-ha. If we put all those period days back-to-back it adds up to roughly 9 and 1/2 years altogether. That's a lot of time with someone who tends to be as crotchety as my Aunt Flo.

This has got me thinking.

It certainly would be nice to have a happy period. Maybe the first 300 periods sucked, but what if the next 240 could be awesome? Better late than never, right?

Is there really such thing as period nirvana? And if so, how do I get there?

Sure, the right supplies probably make a difference, and I'm actively experimenting with different options.

But I'm also a big fan of "mind over matter" and I suspect that approaching my silent red ninja with a positive attitude might possibly be the secret to success. Hell, looking on the bright side worked for poor little paralyzed Pollyanna! Perhaps it could work for my pernicious periods too!

Channeling my inner Pollyanna Whittier , I resolved to play "the 'just being glad' game" about my monthly moon dance.

Here's what I came up with:

Oh look, I got my period! I'm just glad...

1. Because these zits on my chin make me look decades younger. Hooray!

2. That between the bloating and the stains, I always have another reason to go shopping.

3. I can boost the economy with my cavalcade of menstrual supplies and pain-relieving practices.

4. Because nothing makes my kids behave quite like seeing their Mommy writhe in pain.

5. For a guaranteed reprieve from sex with my husband. Ah, six glorious days of dodging that flesh colored bullet.

6. My tender and swollen breasts remind me to slow down and be more mindful in my daily tasks...particularly when going up and down stairs (ow ow ow ow ow).

7. My garbage-rooting dog gets a free monthly boost in his iron levels.

8. Because I am Jonesing for some guilt-free quality couch time in a pair of sweats with my hot water bottle, a box of wine, and the remote control.

9. It's always such fun to see what new foods I can combine with chocolate.

10. I'm not pregnant!!! Hallelujah!

Wow, I feel happier already! Looking on the bright (red) side is definitely the way to go. You better bloody well believe it.

by The Bearded Iris January 31, 2012 - 7:01 AM

Comments (79)

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Report Tue Feb 7, 2012 - 10:13 am

by Paula

love it and it's all true. x
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 8:49 pm

by The Regular Guy UK

I'm still wretching from number 7. lallala fingers in ears eyes closed.....
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4 replies, Last reply by JESSIEJACK on Sun Feb 5, 2012 at 5:16 am
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 11:46 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@The Regular Guy UK: WHAT? You? Wretching? Over THAT? Geez, I guess I better not tell you about the time I discovered my dog had been eating out of the cat's litter box. (I discovered this because I kissed him and got cat litter in my mouth. True story. Good times. Tea, anyone?)
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 6:41 am

by Karine

@The Bearded Iris: I have one of those too... and the best is when, afterwards, he lays with his cat poop encrusted long ears (think male version of Lady, in Lady and the Tramp) on my pillow, while surveying his handy display of our garbage contents (including, but not limited to, used sanitary pads). Ah, fun times!
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 12:09 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Karine: THANK YOU! I knew my dog couldn't be the only one with a penchant for cat shit, UPS Drivers, and used tampons.
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Report Sun Feb 5, 2012 - 5:16 am

by JESSIEJACK

@The Bearded Iris: OMG -thanks for the great laugh!! I had the same dog! cat litter in the mouth from a dog kiss--hilarious
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Report Sat Feb 4, 2012 - 3:34 pm

by Sandra

Ah Iris, I can always count on you to find the 'pause' in positive!...I just made that up, pretty good right...wait, about you about you... This was hilarious! I'm not only impressed with all the points, but with the fact that you took the time to calculate the number of days you've hemorrhaged from you hoo-ha!
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 1:20 pm

by Tiffany

Hilarious, as always!!! I always thought "Have a happy period" was the dumbest slogan of all time.
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 10:14 pm
Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 10:14 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Tiffany: Thanks Tiffany! What in the world were those ad execs thinking?
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 7:35 pm

by Marley Croy

This was HIL-ARIOUS! Dodge the flesh colored bullet?! HA. The dog's iron increase was a bit gross but I LOVE me some gross humor. Separates the squeamish from the "whatevs" type of people. You have moved up my blog list by leaps and bounds!!! You would be soo fun to have a few drinks with.
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 10:12 pm
Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 10:12 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Marley Croy: Well cheers to that! (Dinner is poured.) Thanks for the great comment and for enjoying my grossness. :)
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 10:35 pm

by lhewitt

I do believe Kim is right , you can get away with murder, so I've heard. My first experience with an IUD was - IT CAME OUT - not all the way, just enough so I could not sit upright. My doctor was not on emergency call. The asshole who was on call told me to "follow-up with your regular doctor on Monday".This was on Saturday morning. He also said, and I fucking quote "DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE". I went to the emergency clinic that very same morning , explained my situation and it was removed. I could have done that myself, if I had not been afraid of ripping my vagina to shreds. That doctor asked me if I wanted to keep it. I declined. I did indeed follow up with my regular doctor on Monday, he asked me and again I fucking quote "DID YOU KEEP IT". I have not had any further problems with my new IUD, nor periods, though I may be going through menopause. Anyway Iris you rock your female hormones OUT! Use those bitches for every little thing you can.
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2 replies, Last reply by lhewitt on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:36 am

by The Bearded Iris

@lhewitt: SHUT. UP. Your doctor told you to wait from Sat. morning to Monday when you couldn't even sit upright? Oh, and good thing he told you to NOT have sexual intercourse, because I know that was the FIRST thing on your not-able-to-sit-upright mind. FUCKING -A! You poor thing. My female hormones and I salute you.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 4:58 pm

by lhewitt

@The Bearded Iris: Thanks for the salute and the "you poor thing", (so southern!!). True story btw and yeah I was ALL ABOUT some sex at that particular time. I'll just bless everybodies hearts and hormones (females only) and hope everyone finds their perfect solution to this "curse". Lots of good ideas!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:26 pm

by JD @ Honest Mom

Happy Period my hoo-ha. I hope the marketing genius who thought of that slogan got demoted to writing the instruction sheets you get in a box of tampons.
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4 replies, Last reply by Allysgrandma on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:29 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@JD @ Honest Mom: OMG, can you imagine THAT job? The R&D...with the notepad nearby... {shudder}
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 5:22 am

by Allysgrandma

@The Bearded Iris: Oh gosh that reminds me. I had an older sister (8 years older) and I remember another time sitting on the toilet (geez I learned a lot sitting on the toilet) and I pulled out the instructions and read them. I couldn't have been 8 or 9 at the time and I was SHOCKED at what you did with those tampon things. Of course then I got one out and put it under running water to see what would happen. Geez Iris, you just bring back all these happy memories from what I thought was a pretty shitty childhood, but hey I had some good times!
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 12:12 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Allysgrandma: Aw, I'm honored. One time my brother and I took all my mom's tampons and shot them like mini-cannons out of their applicators while playing with Army Men. She was PISSED! (Rightly so.) We didn't know what they were, but they were perfect as cannons...except for the cottony soft ammo. And what's with the string? Oh, to reload them back into the cannon, of course.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 4:44 pm

by Allysgrandma

@The Bearded Iris: Bahhahahaaa......What a great way to start my day! Laughing! Especially since my kitchen looks like a Food Hoarders episode. My cabinets are getting painted!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 10:34 pm

by Micayla

Awesome!! Next month im going to try the diva cup, so i can worry less about staining etc. Good luck w the rest!
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4 replies, Last reply by rootietoot on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 11:42 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Micayla: I TOTALLY want to try the Diva Cup! I have a good friend who swears by it, but she did say it was really scary at first and she nearly had a panic attack trying to remove it the first time. Stay CALM and BEAR DOWN.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 1:44 am

by Sarah

@The Bearded Iris: Don't worry, after three babies mine practically falls out. Maybe if I did more kegels?
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:02 am

by The Bearded Iris

@Sarah: LOL! Kegels is the answer to everything, I'm certain. (squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.)
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 12:16 pm

by rootietoot

@Micayla: I really wanted to try the Diva cup, but my uterus is cocked at a weird angle (gyn said "Wow...) and wouldn't be able to keep it in. I have the same issue with tampons. So, I continue to contribute to the landfill issues.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:48 am

by Ninja Mom

Oh, number seven, you dirty doggie. I like you.
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 12:13 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Ninja Mom: Dirty doggie likee you too. Dirty doggie likee you long time.
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 8:18 pm

by Karine

I've been wanting to kill the idiot who came up with that stupid slogan since forever. "Have a happy period" my a**!!! Clearly they never had a period before. It must have been a man who was the genius that came up with that one. Friggin' moron!
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3 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 8:23 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Karine: WORD.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 7:09 am

by Karine

@The Bearded Iris: I think you should write a book about the joys of the monthly cleaning of the womb, I bet it would be a total hit at the local suburbia book club. Dont forget to include a chapter about making your own clit ring (yep, totally followed that conversation on Twitter this w/e). p.s.: if it wasnt for you and few other bloggers (props to motherhood, wtf? and honest mom), I probably would have thrown myself out of my bungalow height window by now. Thanks for keeping a bed ridden, bored and pain afflicted mom entertained... just 1 1/2 weeks left till it's surgery time!! And it only took the damn doctors 18 months and a pregnancy to figure out why I kept puking and writing in pain every f***ing day! Gotta love the health care system!
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 12:08 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Karine: Hold up...make your own clit ring? Listen, I'm all for DIY projects, but that one sounds a little dangerous. Hopefully it is a clip-on and not a piercing! OUCH! And sorry to hear about your chronic pain, particularly with a baby to care for at the same time! But so glad you're on the way to surgery and feeling better! They do say that laughter is the best medicine, so keep reading and watching funny TV. Have you checked out Sandra's (@absonarcissism) posts? She is HILARIOUS. XO
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 2:56 pm

by Ann

Endometrial Ablation...ask your GYN, best thing EVER!
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12 replies, Last reply by Ann on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 12:06 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 4:06 pm

by rootietoot

@Ann: I had that done!! Indeed BEST THING EVER. Took 10 day long heavy (think over night pads changed hourly) PAINFUL periods down to neat little 3 day long dainty things and no more overnight pads, not even overnight.
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 4:20 pm

by Ann

@rootietoot: Agreed, I hardly notice anything anymore and it was truly a painless procedure. Woo hoo!!!!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 5:47 pm

by rootietoot

@Ann: Well, it wasn't a painless procedure for me, kinda hurt like hell afterward, for about 1/2 an hour, but that's why God invented Vicodin. It was entirely worth it.
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:43 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Ann: Intrigued! Is this procedure only for people with difficult periods or can anyone have a little nip/tuck up in their lady business? (For period management, not aesthetics...don't get me started.)
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:55 pm

by rootietoot

@The Bearded Iris: I think you have to complain a lot about pain and mess. That's what I did and the gyn didn't ask me to prove anything, she just took my word for it.
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 8:37 pm

by Ann

@The Bearded Iris: Doc told me to call a few times complaining, like that was difficult! I just added it to my list! Then she scheduled it and I was outta there a couple hours later, she did it in the office. Of course I was drugged so for all I know she removed my appendix or something. Whatever she did worked like a charm!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 10:35 pm

by rootietoot

@Ann: Yep, an hour and the office, and the rest of the day on the couch, acting precious and feeble. The next day, all was well. Also? There's a 30% chance you're NEVER HAVE ANOTHER PERIOD.
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 11:39 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Ann: WHY have I never heard of this before? Must research! Gosh, if she removed the appendix as well? TWO-FER! Never worry about a burst appendix.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 12:05 am

by rootietoot

@The Bearded Iris: Novasure, that's the thermoablation, which uses heat. There's another one that is cryoablation that uses freezing...they do the same thing. My gyn said the heat one requires a light general anesthesia. I had the cryo, which required valium and good conversation.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 2:57 am

by Jules

@rootietoot: Yes..Novasure..hallelujah! Had mine 3 years ago under local anesthesia. Was back at the gym the next day. And have only spotted like 6 times since. I recommend it to every woman over 40
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:03 am

by The Bearded Iris

@rootietoot: You had me at valium.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 12:06 pm

by Ann

@The Bearded Iris: Either way you leave with a prescription clutched in your little fist for a controlled substance! Have it on a Friday and a lovely, quite 'chill' weekend is guaranteed!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:14 pm

by Allysgrandma

Your number 5 was my number 1. Alas narry a drop since April 2011, so I have no excuses....except my fibromyalgia is flaring. There is a bright side to a chronic illness! Haha, only kidding., well not about the excuse! Anyway I had the closest thing to a "happy period" back in the late 70s when I asked my doctor for a drug that had been taken off the market (my older sister who was going to Cal told me about them, I should have know then!). He said he could give me the components separately. So he prescribed some pills and told me to take 1 pill with 2 APC tablets, (aspirin, phenacetin and caffeine). First month, wow I felt great, pain from those horrible cramps went away,(which I swear were almost as bad as labor) AND I paid attention in school, felt brilliant, flew through my high school homework. Then one day while sitting on the potty bored, I was reading the labels of things in the medicine cabinet.... and low and behold those pills were dextramphetamines! Yes my doctor gave a 15-year-old dexies! Boy those things did work. Unfortunately I stupidly told my mother who would not get a refill when they ran out. Damn! Love you!
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3 replies, Last reply by Allysgrandma on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 5:20 am
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:38 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Allysgrandma: WOW - maybe YOU should be in marketing, girl! The way you describe those pills, I want some NOW. Love you too, sister!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:39 pm

by rootietoot

@Allysgrandma: I remember the tampon commercials from the '70's and '80s with the smiling woman wearing white short-shorts while riding a horse down the beach and wondering what she was on...must have been those dexies.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 5:20 am

by Allysgrandma

@rootietoot: No doubt Rootietoot and if her doctor wouldn't give them to her she could get them from her friendly neighborhood drug dealer! I still think about that and cannot believe an MD gave a teenager those things! And I live in the Emerald Triangle of California!
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 2:29 am

by Michaela Mitchell

Mirena, Mirena, Mireeeeee-na....that would be me singing gleefully about Mirena, the best thing I ever did...even though it felt like my gyno was punching me in the gumball machine while it was being inserted....TOTALLY worth the "discomfort"...
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5 replies, Last reply by Michaela Mitchell on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 3:54 am
Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 2:58 am

by The Bearded Iris

@Michaela Mitchell: SQUEEEEEEEAL! You just said "punching me in the gumboil machine"!!! My work is done here. If I die tonight, it will be with a huge smile on my shit-eating-face.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 2:59 am

by The Bearded Iris

@The Bearded Iris: "gumball" not "gumboil"...geez, drink and type much, Iris?
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:26 am

by Michaela Mitchell

@The Bearded Iris: Hey, gumboil machine is probably pretty accurate, too...depending on the season!
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:32 am

by The Bearded Iris

@Michaela Mitchell: Lawd have mercy! I frickin' hate when my gum boils down they-er.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:54 am

by Michaela Mitchell

@The Bearded Iris: Oh hell, I think I just peed in my pants a little...can't. stop. LAUGHING!!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 9:01 pm

by Tracy

Three years ago, after already having had four children, God blessed me with a fibroid that led to me deciding to have a hysterectomy at 38 years old. BEST DECISION EVER!!! No more shelling out all that money to buy "supplies". No more having to find space in my purse for all those "supplies". No more planning my life around that one week. No more cramping. No more freaking out about the possibility of a #5 if I was a minute late. I only wish my little fibroid friend popped up the day after I delivered my youngest instead of 7 years later. Life is good!
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 3:38 am
Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:38 am

by The Bearded Iris

@Tracy: Hmmmm, note to self...research fibroid-causing foods and environmental toxins. Hysterectomy totally trumps IUD with that stringy thingy and related complications!
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 2:01 am

by dizzydesi

May I offer up three fantastic letters that will eliminate this entire discussion...IUD, girlfriend! Haven't seen Aunt Flo and her friends grumpy, zitty, and chocohound in a long while. And I don't miss them one bit.
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 3:01 am
Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 3:01 am

by The Bearded Iris

@dizzydesi: Holy cannoli...another IUD girl! I might have to junk punch my gyno for not making me do this years ago. And OMG, "grumpy, zitty, and chocohound"? Tell me where to send you a check because I'm totally gonna use that.
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Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 2:51 am

by Carrie

You're gross. And that is so part of the reason I love you. That...and your phrase "cleaning my womb." That is just the friggin BEST.
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Feb 1, 2012 at 2:57 am
Report Wed Feb 1, 2012 - 2:57 am

by The Bearded Iris

@Carrie: Aw! Carrie! I love that you love me enough to tell me to my face "You're gross." That rocks. Now go clean your womb, bitch, or I'mma tell your Mama on you.
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 7:45 pm

by marketingtomilk

9 1/2 years? sheeeeesh M2M
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jan 31, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 7:48 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@marketingtomilk: I KNOW. How's THAT for a depressing statistic?!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 7:16 pm

by Steph

Girl! You've GOT to get a mirena IUD...best thing I ever did. Haven't had a period in 5 years! That reminds me... it's time for a new one!
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jan 31, 2012 at 7:25 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 7:25 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Steph: I don't know, that string scares me a little. With my luck, I'd snag it on a barbed wire fence or scratch the corinthian leather in my Mombulance while I'm running errands in the buff...
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:00 pm

by Kim at Let Me Start By Saying

I always laughed at those Happy Period commercials. Yeah, tsampons that find the balance between great seepage control and not-turning-you-inside-out-upon-removal are a delight, and pads that feel like nothing and have fancy wings that manage not to cling to your thigh and lovely. But...happy? I'm doubtful. Keep up the fabulous attitude. And remember: I'm pretty sure someone's gotten away with murder because she was on her period, right? There's always that.
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3 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jan 31, 2012 at 7:06 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:40 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Kim at Let Me Start By Saying: Holy CRAP "not-turning-you-inside-out-upon-removal" tampons...those exist?
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:57 pm

by Kim at Let Me Start By Saying

@The Bearded Iris: When I used to get periods, I used Tampax Compact and they were da bomb. If they still exist? Try them. I haven't had a period really since I got pg for the past time in 2006, because I locked down my messed up uterus with a Mirena IUD & the lovely side effect for me is no periods (which is a delight after 21 years of horrible, horrible ones).
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 7:06 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Kim at Let Me Start By Saying: NO WAY! I never knew that was a potential side effect of Mirena! Dammit. "Sorry hon, turns out you didn't need that vasectomy afterall!"
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 12:15 pm

by rootietoot

Because I'm not pregnant. Even after 20 years, having had 2 SURPRISE pregnancies, I give a happy grin. Especially now that I'm in my late 40's and things are getting irregular, and there's a bit of panic when it's been 5 weeks, that Red Dot and cramp cheers me right up.
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jan 31, 2012 at 6:45 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:45 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@rootietoot: Preach it sister!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 3:36 pm

by Janie Emaus

That is one thing I don't miss about getting older.
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jan 31, 2012 at 6:44 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:44 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Janie Emaus: YAY! Another Pollyanna in the hizzy!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 5:30 pm

by Allison @ Motherhood, WTF?

I think it's fun to see my family cower in fear of me. Apparently, (according to them anyway,) it's me who turns into a crazy bitch and not them who turn into impossibly annoying and constantly irritating people. I still think it's them.
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3 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jan 31, 2012 at 6:41 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 5:48 pm

by rootietoot

@Allison @ Motherhood, WTF?: When my family sees a bag of cheetoes and a giant bottle of white wine on the counter, They Know. Himself offers to take everyone out for dinner, puts me to bed early, and they all tiptoe for a couple of days.
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:41 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@rootietoot: You just described my version of an adult Happy Meal. God bless you!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:40 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Allison @ Motherhood, WTF?: It's totally them. That's our story and we're sticking to it!!!
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:11 pm

by Rebecca

OH. SNAP. I am sitting here with a hot water bottle, ben and jerry's,a fifth of vodka and this made my day. AMEN SISTAH!
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jan 31, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:39 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Rebecca: The trifecta of menstrual bliss! Enjoy! Tell Meredith Baxter Burney I said hello.
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Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:26 pm

by Wanda Argersinger

Happy Period my hooo ha. Never has been and never will be. It's all in the marketing and I'm marketing to kill the SOB who came up with this crap.
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jan 31, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Report Tue Jan 31, 2012 - 6:37 pm

by The Bearded Iris

@Wanda Argersinger: "Never has been and never will be"? Well, not with that shitty attitude, Wanda. ;) C'mon, what would Henry Ford say? Oh wait, probably nothing, because he never had to HEMORRHAGE out of his HOO-HA 600 times in his lifetime. Another SOB.
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In The Powder Room

If Pollyanna had a period

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