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The world revolves around boobs
by Dear Regular Guy,
What is the fascination men have for my boobs? Why are they the first, and sometimes only, thing they look at?
Chesty Fontaine.
Dear Miss Fontaine,
Very difficult question to answer without knowing specifically what the trouble is, any chance you could send in a photo so I can have a really good think about it?
I have absolutely no idea how old I was when I first became obsessed with those wonderful orbs of fun you ladies carry about with you. As far as I'm concerned, I've always been able to talk, always been able to walk, and always hoped to catch a glimpse of breast.
You might as well ask me why I like watching those "send in your own video clips" style shows where drunken Grannies fall over at weddings or toddlers get knocked over by over-zealous dads trying to ride their children's scooters. No one really knows why these shows are so popular, they just are. Somehow, deep in our psyche we really like seeing fat men slipping while attempting a dive at a swimming pool and belly-flopping into the water. Likewise, men just can't stop watching tits.
Long before I knew what sex was, I would be distracted looking down my teacher's top for just a fleeting glimpse of bra. It wasn't, to my knowledge, sexual at all, just a sheer uncontrollable urge or unquenchable thirst. A thirst. Is it really that simple? Could it really be a deep-seated instinct to feed? Surely not? I do know that I absolutely couldn't stop looking, even though it was long before I knew what I might do if I ever got hold of them.
I just wanted to innocently bury my head into them. That's all.
Over the years, I've discovered all sorts of fun things you can do with boobs but still, on the whole, I'd say that I'm at my happiest with my head buried so maybe there's some truth in the feeding theory. No?
However, I long since grew out my childish inability to control myself. What I never understand is why men, being supposedly adults, arrogantly think it's okay to blatantly stare at your chest so overtly that it causes discomfort. How can they not know that it's just plain rude? Not to mention very slightly aggressive.
I'm not perfect; I'm going to pretend that I am. I occasionally have a sneaky chest-glance of every woman I ever meet. I'm not trying to justify this or defend myself, it's wrong and I know that it is. But I think that we all occasionally do this. Women do it too, albeit by looking at different things, nonetheless we all check each other's bits out at some point. But the thing is, that's all it should be and nothing more. You can't just stand there staring and think that this is okay. It's not okay. It's never okay.
Those who continue to stare and talk to your frontage aren't all men. Men don't do it at all; just children and wankers.
Comments (15)
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Report Wed Nov 14, 2012 - 6:28 amI loved the part where you said, "we all check each other's bits out at some point." Too true. I'm a shoulder and forearm girl, myself. Valid point on the "children and wankers" part re: staring at women's boobs. I guess I understand the sneaky glance, but PLEASE do it on the sly, fellas! I'm a speech/language therapist in a pediatric clinic, and one of my clients (I think he' MIGHT be 12) started talking about boobs in the middle of our session. Completely off-topic and inappropriate, right? Because he saw something in an abstract picture and, "they look like boobs!" (He said it three times, with at least one exclamation mark, maybe three or four.) I let him know that's not an appropriate topic when he's in the presence of women. If he starts talking about boobs to his dad or pubescent friends, fine, but I don't want to hear about it.Reply -
Report Wed Oct 17, 2012 - 11:17 pmI don't mind if you want to glimpse but don't stare and have a conversation with my breasts. I wonder if it would make the staring men uncomfortable if women stared at their crotch and "sized" them up!?Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Thu Oct 18, 2012 at 2:16 am
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Wed Oct 17, 2012 - 4:47 am
Well done Glen. I do take exception to women flaunting their boobs (and by that I mean anything shy of donning a burlap potato sack as a blouse) and then getting busted for the fleeting glance, followed by the awkward head snap and chin rub pretending you were looking elsewhere. I think there should just be a rule that if you get nailed on the fleeting glance, you just own up to it, shout "busted" and everyone goes about their business without all of the awkwardness.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Oct 17, 2012 at 10:15 am
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Tue Oct 16, 2012 - 11:25 pm
Hey Regular Guy, You are going to pretend you are perfect? O.K. I am going to pretend that you are not full of shit! Wanker.Reply -
5 replies, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Wed Oct 17, 2012 at 10:09 am
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Tue Oct 16, 2012 - 7:50 pm
This is laugh out loud funny. Thanks for trying to explain the fascination.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Tue Oct 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm
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Tue Oct 16, 2012 - 4:22 pm
My husband has said similar things. According to him, it's not even the size of them, only that they exist and that makes him very happy.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Regular Guy UK on Tue Oct 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm
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