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Quiz: Should I go camping?
I recently had the opportunity to attend a weekend camp-out with my daughter's scout troop and their families.
Camping is not for everyone. Here's a helpful quiz to assist you in deciding if you should go...
My gut reaction to the idea of camping with other people's children is:
a.) Yay! Can we eat S'mores and sing campfire songs?
b.) Ooooh, gosh, I don't know about this. Which children, exactly?
c.) Can't. It's a violation of my restraining order.
d.) Aw, hell to the no.
When I see a bug, I...
a.) Pick it up and let it crawl over my hands while I take copious notes about its habitat and the shape of its thorax.
b.) Calmly move away.
c.) Squish it while shouting, "Prepare to meet your maker, motherfucker."
d.) Scream like a banshee and jump up onto a table.
The idea of going without makeup for 48 hours makes me feel...
a.) Curious...what is this makeup of which you speak?
b.) Slightly uncomfortable.
c.) Motivated to finish sewing a suit made from women's hides.
d.) Violent.
I would rather _______________ than sleep on the ground.
a.) Sleep in a tent
b.) Sleep in a 5 star hotel
c.) Do what the voices tell me
d.) Lick a subway hand-rail
A morning away from my Keurig is:
a.) Huh? What's a Keurig?
b.) Fine, as long as someone brings some instant Folgers or Diet Coke.
c.) Who? Never heard of her. But I once cut a bitch for touching my cheese danish, if you know what I mean.
d.) Out of the question.
I can poop...
a.) Anywhere, anytime...in fact I'm pooping right now.
b.) Almost anywhere, but I prefer my own toilet.
c.) Because pooping is fun. Smearing poop is even more fun. I like you.
d.) Shut your filthy mouth, harlot. My bowel habits are none of your beeswax.
I can go without alcohol...
a.) Forever! Fresh air and stars are my happy juice.
b.) If I have to, but not for more than 48 hours. Do Jello shots count?
c.) As long as I have bath salts and/or horse tranquilizers.
d.) All morning, but then I'll be serving Mojitos and Buttery Nipples shots out of the trunk of my car.
Alrighty then, let's see how you did...
If you picked mostly:
a.) You are a natural. Go; you'll have a blast!
b.) Go ahead, but make sure there are some very experienced campers going too.
c.) Does the asylum know you've escaped?
d.) You will die a violent death on a camp-out with other people's kids. Definitely stay home.
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Comments (34)
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Report Mon Oct 8, 2012 - 7:03 pmI told my husband I would go on his company campout if he could meet a few conditions for me. First, I would require enough alcohol to forget that I was camping and I would also need a gorgeous 18-20 year old boy in my tent, ready for a drunken "get it on" session. This would be ideal, because the only reason any woman should go camping is to get drunk and make-out with a hot boy that her parents would not approve of. Camping is great for people too young to enter bars, but old enough to sleep away from mommy and daddy's house. I am 33, with 2 kids of my own. I pay a heafty mortgage for a home with a master bedroom and a king size bed. I don't need to pretend I'm homeless to get drunk and laid. I'm officially all grown up!Reply -
Report Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 7:11 pmMostly Bs and Cs... Honestly I would be ok in Motorhome only because I could shower and have a nice warm bed if needed... not to mention my Kureig would plug right in. Bawhhahahahahahhha. If I have to go and tent camp I make sure that travel bottles are hidden well. Did you have fun on the camping trip?Reply
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4 replies, Last reply by Kris on Sun Jul 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm
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Report Sun Jul 15, 2012 - 12:09 amLet's get a few camping rules straight. 1. Have coffee pot, will travel. 2. Have booze, will travel. 3. Have toilet paper, will travel.Reply
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Report Thu Jul 12, 2012 - 1:46 amBAAHHHAHAAAHHAAA!!!Reply
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Report Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 10:21 pmI went camping a few months ago. I was pleasantly surprised with how much I loved it! We got to go caving AND rappelling, too, and it was all a ton of fun. I would go back. Of course, this time I would pack for myself, since my husband packed for me last time and I wound up with 3 bras, one pair of pants and no underwear.Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Kristen on Wed Jul 11, 2012 at 10:19 pm
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Report Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 8:07 pmCamping. Thats, like, the hotel that doesn't have room service, right? No Keurig?! Just shoot me now. I don't do bugs. In fact, I don't really do outside things because bugs live there. I don't want bugs in my house, so I don't go in theirs. It's kind of a mutual respect thing-y.Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Lauren on Wed Jul 11, 2012 at 4:59 pm
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Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 6:16 am
I can't even fathom staying at a Motel 6. I am NOT a camper, although I can poop pretty much anywhere. It's my super power.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Clare Macnaughton on Wed Jul 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm
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Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 4:15 pm
I would go Glamping....maybe. That's my top end. http://goglamping.net/ Glamping is camping with beds and goosedown duvets!Reply -
Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 7:43 amIn response to "When I see a bug, I..." This pretty much sums it up: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-sets-house-fire-trying-kill-spiders-blowtorch-233815257.htmlReply
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Report Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 11:16 pmMy thoughts on camping are as follows: If you VOLUNTARILY abandon your solid-walls-and-a-roof home -- with its central air, internet connection, indoor toilet, and lack of creepy bug infestation -- you don't *deserve* to have these things when you come back. Ask Darwin. So tell me when you're leaving. When I sell your place, I'll give you a commission. Maybe you can buy one of those citronella candles that keeps the bears away. Or whatever. Love, -Mere- (the professional unhappy camper)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Jul 11, 2012 at 2:35 am
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Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 11:20 pm
Mainly Cs. Except for the Qus where they didn't go far enough and then it was mainly Fs. When do we leave?Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Jul 11, 2012 at 2:34 am
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Report Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 12:02 amMy family loves our vacations away from it all - 1800's style! We participate in pre-1840 re-enactments. Canvas tents, cooking over an open fire and period appropriate clothing. We shoot archery, throw tomahawk and knife, have cooking competitions, enjoy drinks and music around a campfire. We do poop in an outhouse or hidden port-a-let, though! I do love a good hotel...but, I LOVE camping!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Jul 11, 2012 at 2:33 am
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Report Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 8:29 pmI answered mostly A's. I grew up camping with my family. We camped in tents. I had a blast. It's fun to get away, get dirty, have an adventure and unplug for a little bit. And I LAUGHED HARD at answer "A" to the poop question.Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jul 10, 2012 at 9:42 pm
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Report Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 8:08 pmCabin camping. Doing this with my kids probably next month. Cabins have beds, and electricity. And beds. And possibly a refrigerator. And did I mention beds?Reply
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3 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jul 10, 2012 at 9:41 pm
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Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 7:11 pm
NO camping. We used to cam when the kids were really young (what were we thinking...other than a campsite being $10 a night and we already had the stuff so it was WAY cheaper than a hotel) but now...no. No way no how o hell no. Now it's The Avia in Savannah or maybe the Intercontinental in Atlanta. Camping is for Boy Scouts and men who don't care about pillows. Women who like camping? More power to 'em.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jul 10, 2012 at 9:40 pm
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Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 8:17 pm
I laughed at the title. Oh. Hell. No.Reply
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