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Family game night stinks
Having three kids ranging in age from thirteen to five has always made it challenging to enjoy Family Game Night the way the television commercials would have us believe normal families do on a regular basis.
The thing is, nobody ever wants to play the same game. The games that the oldest kid or I want to play are never acceptable to either of the other two kids, and the games that the five year old likes actually make the rest of us want to slam our heads in the car door over and over.
Seriously, did Hitler invent Chutes and Ladders (aka Snakes and Ladders)? Because that game is truly the product of a misanthrope after a bad day. Candy Land is equally as bad. Just when you think you're nearing the Candy Castle at the end, you pull the Gumdrop Mountain card and have to go all the way back to the beginning. It's torture. Never play either of these games unless you have lots of time to kill, some earplugs to muffle the sounds of your preschooler crying, and a new bottle of hooch to dull the pain.
There are two games I love that my five year old is finally old enough to play with the rest of us: Uno and Jenga.
Uno is a card game that only requires number and color recognition, no reading. The hardest part about it for the five year old is holding his cards, so we let him spread them out behind him and we all promise not to look. At one point I bought one of those kid-friendly card-holder thingies but I'm pretty sure someone used it to scoop kitty litter or disarm a pipe bomb because it doesn't work anymore.
Jenga is fun for everyone except for my Uncle Rocco with the DTs. It's a wooden block game where you build a tower and have to remove one block at a time without knocking over the whole thing. This game is quick and challenging, but not so hard that someone cries, except Uncle Rocco, but that's a different story.
Lately though, my five year old has a new game he wants to play that nobody else enjoys: he calls it Smell My Finger. I'm totally not making this up. My five year old son has figured out that he can touch his bare butthole and then chase his siblings around while shouting "SMELL MY FINGER!" Naturally, everyone runs in terror when he does this. He thinks it's hilarious. Sadly, the fact that Mommy laughs until she cries when he does this has given him the unspoken message that this game is funny. (Bad, bad Mommy.)
I'm just imagining the kinds of phone calls I'm going to be getting from his kindergarten teacher this fall. You know, on second thought, maybe Chutes and Ladders and Candy Land aren't so bad after all...as long as we have him wash his hands first.
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Comments (64)
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Report Wed Oct 10, 2012 - 6:23 pmI have 3 kids aged 14,24 and 30 all girls but so far i we don't have a problem raising them because they're so close to each other and even the eldest sister know how be with and do things with her 2 younger sisters. :)Reply -
Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 10:51 pmThank you for this....My 3 year old son currently likes to play "look at my junk!" okay so yes it's my fault I called his penis junk ONE time and now every chance he gets (thankfully he only does this when he is already naked) he shouts "look at my junk" and then I can't stop laughingReply
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4 replies, Last reply by online casino on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 2:05 pm
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Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 5:51 pmThere are two games I love that my five year old is finally old enough to play with the rest of us: Uno and Jenga.Reply
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Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 11:39 pm
Oh I cannot help it! I love that he is terrorizing everyone. Is that so wrong? I think Satan made Chutes and Ladders. I also think you can make up rules as you go and should cheat at any and all board games.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by los angeles fencing on Fri Jul 20, 2012 at 1:13 pm
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 8:51 pmNot to bash Milton Bradley, Hasbro, or other well-to-do "American" game companies, but in my house we have an assortment of "euro-games" that we play. Games Night is fun with myself and my 5 and 3 year old - we usually have it multiple times a week. Big hits are Qwirkle (colour and shape recognition) and Tsuro (follow a path/tile game). They're easy enough for my sons to play, but can be challenging/complex enough that I take them to grown up outings too.Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by los angeles seo services on Wed Jul 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 8:46 pmThe 2 yr old is currently into "looka my butt. Look!" And yes, thanks for asking, his pants are indeed down when he shows his bare ass. Is he doing this at school? I am mortified at the thought but I can't stop laughing. He's still too little for anything more than the memory game (which he plays not by finding matches, but by finding a way to make the mismatches go together. See: he turns over a fish, then turns over a pizza. His sister says, "Aw, you didn't get a match." He takes both cards anyway saying, "Fish eat da peesa. Dey match." I loooooooove family game night and I love Jenga. After the boy is in bed, daddy, the girls and I will play Uno or Hangman (the original one w/the letter tiles WHAT) or You've Been Sentenced. After the girls have gone to bed, though, daddy and I play drunk Wii.Reply
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3 replies, Last reply by logo on Sat Jul 14, 2012 at 1:15 pm
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 8:46 pmSee, the problem here is that Smell My Finger really is pretty funny. Yeah, maybe not so hygienic, and the school nurse might choose to have a little talk with you in the fall, but seriously. Comic gold.Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Roulette francese on Sat Jul 14, 2012 at 10:29 am
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 7:32 pmI have always said real life is nothing like a happy Fisher Price commercial. I'm glad someone else agrees! Thanks for the laugh!Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Payday Loans on Wed Jul 11, 2012 at 2:57 pm
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Report Mon Jun 18, 2012 - 8:23 pmGreat Post! "Go To" game in my family is Scrabble. Everyone has a set and we just had a tournament at the annual beach trip. My daughter took one to college with her. The kids play Scrabble Jr. My brother would play 'smell my finger' in the car, where there was no escape and your only recourse was to beat his ass in the middle seat. Once I got old enough, I would claim the entire 'backety back' of the station wagon. As the oldest, I could do that. And eventually, as the driver, I could always threaten to toss them out.Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by los angeles criminal lawyer on Tue Jul 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm
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Report Sat Jun 30, 2012 - 5:46 pmMountain card and have to go all the way back to the beginning. It's torture. Never play either of these games unless you have lots of time to kill, some earplugs to muffle the sounds of your preschooler crying, and a new bottle of hooch to dull the pain.Reply
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Report Mon Jun 25, 2012 - 1:35 pmThat made me sad. Who plays a virtual card game? Well, I guess lots of people to but it still didn't seem right.Reply
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Report Sat Jun 16, 2012 - 9:15 pmWe've got a lot of "Smell My Finger" going on over here too. We also like to play Doggie Doo. All ages can appreciate it. I think your family sounds like the kind of family who would enjoy Doggie Doo. You can see a video of it in action here: http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/2011/12/doggie-doo.htmlReply
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1 reply, Last reply by SEO Florida on Mon Jun 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm
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Report Sun Jun 17, 2012 - 3:11 pmThe moment I read Smell My Finger -- a smell popped into my nose. We had a finger-smeller too. But he was much more in the closet about it. I would catch him sniffing away at odd moments. Good news is that he grew out of it. And saw my daughter playing Ono on her iPad. That made me sad. Who plays a virtual card game? Well, I guess lots of people to but it still didn't seem right. And one last FYI. We've had lots of success with Yahtzee on Family Game Night. When your 5 year old starts to add that's a good one.Reply
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Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 10:10 pm
Ours often end in tears, but in all fairness, usually they are mine. RushHour by ThinkFun is fine, except that the kids make me play the hardest level and when I'm sweating to figure it out and they are mocking me I tend to start screaming MOMMY IS TOTALLY NOT STUPID! because Good God I am not skilled at spatial relations. Kids Mastermind is fine, too, except for when one of us actually guess the right pattern right away so my 5yo lies to us that we didn't and we use every single game piece until I figure out that she's a lying piece of...Mastermind. But at least I usually never smell anyone's colon. Which is a plus.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Sat Jun 16, 2012 at 6:22 pm
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Report Sat Jun 16, 2012 - 5:50 pmout that he can touch his bare butthole and then chase his siblings around while shouting "SMELL MY FINGER!" Naturally, everyoneReply
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 7:13 pmOh thats hilarious. I like to play "smell my finger" with my husband but it's never buthole. I mean occasionally I may have just changed a diaper but usually it's an onion or something.Reply
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3 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 6:02 pm
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Report Thu Jun 14, 2012 - 4:56 amI actually loved Chutes and Ladders and CandyLand, but only when I won. Hmm . . . I'm not sure what that says about me. I will NOT smell a finger.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 6:00 pm
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Report Thu Jun 14, 2012 - 11:48 pmOur city sends flyers home in the fall announcing that a certain date will be city-wide Family Game Night. I'm certainly going to hell, but I've managed to send the kids to their friends' houses on that night for YEARS while I lay on the couch and read British romance novels. (I also loathe Chutes and Ladders.)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 5:59 pm
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Report Fri Jun 15, 2012 - 6:12 amHahaha - I cannot stop laughing about "smell my finger" - I guess I would be bad mommy on this one too :) It would help if your son wasn't so cute! Sigh...I hate playing those board games as well but Uno is one I can handle and actually do enjoy. Candy Land - yes, bored to tears. Awesome, funny post!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Fri Jun 15, 2012 at 5:59 pm
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Report Thu Jun 14, 2012 - 3:27 pmunless you have lots of time to kill, some earplugs to muffle the sounds of your preschooler crying, and a new bottle of hooch to dull the pain.Reply
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 9:41 pmYou should try playing "where is sock monkey?". Seriously with the things you do to your elf on the shelf, this game should be right up your alley! We love it...the little ones through the adults. We got ours off Amazon.Reply
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3 replies, Last reply by Robin on Thu Jun 14, 2012 at 8:07 am
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Report Wed Jun 13, 2012 - 11:59 amHahahahahahah reminds me of my dad chasing the kids around telling them to pull his finger then of course he farts... He even got Thing 3 to start doing it... only Thing 3 will aim it like a gun and and tell you "Gotcha" and run away giggling. On another note the other game the Spawn like to play is the UNO spitto game... there's a machine that spits out the cards... cracks me up!Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Kris on Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 9:14 pm
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Report Wed Jun 13, 2012 - 5:37 amWhat's sad is.... "Smell My Finger" is something my DAD would do....Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 5:02 pm
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Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 7:16 pm
I love both those games! I guess I'm just a little kid at heart.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by Kristen on Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 4:14 am
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 10:41 pmWhen I was growing up with my numerous siblings, our house had a carpeted, sunken living room -- where we made up a game called Floor Hockey. Floor Hockey consisted of crawling around on your hands and knees, trying to swat a Nerf ball at the little step between the living room and the rest of the house. Dad, of course -- being the biggest -- always played goalie, trying to stop the ball from hitting the step, but every time we scored, we triumphed in our win against a "grown-up." Floor Hockey was a lot of fun... until one day someone asked Dad why all his children had rug-burn on their knees. Needless to say, Floor Hockey was immediately discontinued and replaced by Uno.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Jun 13, 2012 at 1:00 am
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 7:44 pmSoooo funny!!!!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jun 12, 2012 at 8:33 pm
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Report Tue Jun 12, 2012 - 8:08 pmMy kids use one of those clear plastic shoe size bins for holding cards. If you turn it upside down it has a lip on it that holds the cards perfectly. Love family game night! (and also despise Chutes and Ladders!)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Tue Jun 12, 2012 at 8:33 pm
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