In The Powder Room

Dear Regular Guy,

Why can't I get my husband to help with the housework? I work too, why is it all down to me?

Tired.

Dear Tired,

It shouldn't all be down to you at all. It sounds like neither of you have thought about ironing.

I think whichever adult stops working to care for children does more than just take on the role of parent. They become a Housewife or Househusband. Generally it is the woman that does this, though not always. When you are working as a Housewife then that is your job, so stop moaning and get the floor vacuumed.

Sorry.

Where some men go wrong is that they think this means you are their slave.  Being a Housewife is a massively difficult and generally thankless job. I'm not joking here; I know I couldn't do it. It's a bastard of a job that you should be paid properly for, should be given time off from, and you damned well should be thanked. Some women say they feel guilty if they spend their ‘husband's' money on clothes for themselves because they are not earning their own.

Never feel guilty. You have earned that money. It is men who should be feeling guilty for sneaking off and spending YOUR money in the pub. Trust me; you earned that lager more than we did.

Where some men get really stupid is in thinking that this still applies when the woman returns to regular employment. The working mum still winds up being a Housewife. This is, to put it mildly, crap. Some men want their bread buttered on both sides. It's wrong. The fact that your man seems to feel this way tells me that you both need to know about the power of ironing.

Relentless nagging will fall on deaf ears. Fail to clean the bathroom and he won't notice. Make crappy dinners and he'll just eat bigger lunches but send him to work in a wrinkly shirt and he'll react immediately. Something, he will suspect, is wrong. He should not be taking you for granted; you are not the only person who should be doing housework. Eventually, he will get the message.

If he has any sense, he will throw his age old sexism out of the window and start helping. If he is smart - he'll do the ironing.

When I say he'll do the ironing, I actually mean he'll do the laundry. An intelligent man collects the laundry, washes, dries and then irons it. This is one of the most boring, time consuming chores of them all - and yet also the easiest. The washing goes in and you put the kettle on. The load gets swapped and you have a cake. The clothes dry while you potter about with the car and then you come in, crack open a beer, put the TV on to the CHANNEL OF YOUR CHOICE, and stand there for a couple of hours.

And this is all it takes. You feel like he is doing his bit, he feels like he is giving you the respect you deserve and can therefore ignore all the other jobs that come up. Everyone's happy.

Hope this helps.