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The Mom Curse
I grew up in small town Indiana. I am well versed in hillbilly-speak and it has served me well in parenting.
My husband and I have four children. Three of them read the "How To Be a Well-Behaved Child" manual and they follow the rules. My second born is the vessel that was sent to me via The Mom Curse. You know the one. The "Someday, I hope you have a child just like you!" curse.
He is the one that stares defiantly at me when I am yelling at...I mean, correcting him.
He is the one that went to the ER six times by his sixth birthday.
He is also the one that can melt my heart with a look, break my heart with a comment, terrify me with a leap, and give me a belly laugh with a joke.
While my husband uses rational conversation to deal with the boy, I call on my native tongue of hillbilly-speak.
"Boy, you got more problems than a math book."
"Son, you just bought yourself a bucket a trouble."
The phrase that my mother still uses on me is "The chickens have come home to roost."
When I call my mother with "Listen to what the boy did, now!" complaints, she laughs maniacally and says, "Sounds to me like the chickens have come home to roost."
When I was growing up, if there was a trip to the ER? Me.
Skipping school? Me.
Smart mouth? Me.
Outrageous behavior to get a laugh? Me.
Inappropriate laughter during a prayer? Me.
Walking across a train trestle (Stand By Me style) on a dare? Me.
These are the thoughts that run through my head as I am throwing hillbilly-speak at my boy.
It's just my turn.
My mother did it before me and now I will carry on the tradition.
As I'm sure my mother did for me, I will offer up daily prayers. FYI, in Indiana, we always include the word "just."
"Dear Lawd, just grant me patience to not beat this boy."
"Dear Lawd, just keep him safe."
"Dear Lawd, just put your hand over my mouth."
"Dear Lawd, I just want to thank you for my spitfire boy. Even though he is turning my hair gray, I love him something crazy."
Today, I pray that my boy will grow up to be a fine, upstanding citizen and that he will call home to tell me about his own little spitfire. I will finally be able to let out a maniacal laugh and say, "Sounds to me like the chickens have come home to roost."
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Comments (17)
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Report Thu Feb 7, 2013 - 8:59 amMy mother laid this curse upon me also...and I know I was a handful because now I've got it double. I knew my first child was my match just as soon as she arrived, so I was properly surprised when her sister turned out to be the opposite of the shrinking violet I thought I was due next. No We have nicknamed the girls "A Force to Be Reckoned With" and "Not to Be Outdone. " Here from Finding the Funny, and in your story I did just that. Thank you for the laughs.Reply
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Tue Feb 5, 2013 - 1:55 am
Yes, I hope for grandchildren.. I am going to spoil them so hard! Those chickens are going to be laying eggs and Leelee (that's going to be my grandma name) is going to reign supreme. And then send them home.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by HouseTalkN on Tue Feb 5, 2013 at 10:16 am
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Report Tue Feb 5, 2013 - 3:13 amYes, while he in the midst of being a spitfire, you can secretly know in your heart that he will probably have one too. You can carry on the tradition of putting The Mom Curse on him!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by HouseTalkN on Tue Feb 5, 2013 at 10:16 am
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Report Tue Feb 5, 2013 - 12:37 amOh.my.Gawd, this curse is serious. I remember the day my mother said those words to me and it worked like a charm. My sixteen year old daughter has the condition something fierce. No worries though, I've already thrown the curse upon her. She's praying for all boys. ;) Bwahahaha. http://www.nextlifenokids.com/2012/10/teen-aged-girls-are-like-devil-in-human.htmlReply
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2 replies, Last reply by Julie @ nextlifenokids on Tue Feb 5, 2013 at 4:01 am
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Report Mon Feb 4, 2013 - 9:29 pmLove that boy G-man!! I think I am getting payback twice just ten years apart and in completely different ways!! Keeps life interesting!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by HouseTalkN on Mon Feb 4, 2013 at 9:48 pm
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Mon Feb 4, 2013 - 6:19 pm
I have one too. Bunjee jumping out of a maple tree? Skateboarding down a steep hill with a blind curve? His own personal gurney at the ER? Yep yep and ayep. "well hey there, Mrs. Toot, haven't seen you in a while!" says the ER doctor. Backtalking, skipping school, dropping OUT of high school (then back in, just like his Ma) and now? He's working toward veterinary school while also working as a fireman. I couldn't be prouder. These are the kids that provoke extreme emotions of every sort.Reply -
3 replies, Last reply by HouseTalkN on Mon Feb 4, 2013 at 9:38 pm
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Mon Feb 4, 2013 - 9:03 pm
My mother's is one word: "Payback". And I'm getting it, in spades.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by HouseTalkN on Mon Feb 4, 2013 at 9:30 pm
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