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I see London, I see France...
Can we take a moment to talk about underwear? Women's undergarments come in a variety of forms--from itty bitty strings that climb to unspeakable places, to giant sucking garments that squeeze from the ribs to the knees, to boy shorts which look ironically sexy on models and like granny panties on the rest of us, and a million of in-between delicates.
They all have one thing in common--general discomfort. We need them to suck us in, to be invisible under our yoga pants and white linen, to look sexy. When we finally decide that comfort is also important, we begin our slow decline which ends in mom jeans and Crocs. And don't even get me started on bras. Demi-cup? Puh-leeze! Let's not mince words. That means half a bra.
THIS IS UNFAIR!
Meanwhile, the other half of humanity gets to choose between comfy loose boxers, comfy supportive briefs, or the comfy hybrid. Nothing goes up their butt cheeks uninvited. Worst part? Just like we're conditioned to think women look sexiest in ridiculously uncomfortable garments, we think men look sexy in these.
Can't we bring back bloomers?
Watch men and women next time you're out and about. Every woman adjusts her shirt, her waistband, and picks a wedgie every time she goes from sitting to standing. No man does any of this ever.
I'd like to start a movement, and I need to get Mark Wahlberg on board. Thongs for men! Spanx came out with a men's line, but it's just undershirts. WTF? Anyone can wear a tight undershirt. I want men to have to struggle out of an oversized rubber band when they've got to go. I want them to have a string trying to floss them in half, completely severing their right from left sides. While we're at it, can we somehow make their jeans less comfortable too? And how about making their t-shirts ride up?
My belief is if we inflict all of this on the less gentle half, the fashion industry would change faster than you can say high rise control top.
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Comments (7)
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Tue Nov 13, 2012 - 6:30 pm
I think all that fashion mandate is started by the male fashion designers who secretly hate women and want to make us miserable by making us believe we're only pretty when we're wearing impossible clothing and weigh less than the average 10 year old.Reply -
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Tue Nov 13, 2012 - 10:44 am
Me too, I'd like to my husband wearing a thong for sake of an invisible panty line.Reply -
Report Tue Nov 13, 2012 - 1:31 amI'm with ya on the bloomers. Those Spanx? Sheesh...not fanny friendly in the pull-up at all. At least not with a fanny the size of mine.Reply
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Mon Nov 12, 2012 - 11:11 pm
AMEN! I would pay money to see a man wiggle into or out of spanx! AND, let's bring back the bloomers!Reply -
Report Mon Nov 12, 2012 - 9:19 pmGreat idea....but it wouldn't work. Men would actually be able to USE the pee-hole in spanx. *sigh* The Kraken - I LOL'd at your comment - most of my undergarments hit just below the boobs...esp. when I'm not wearing a bra. LOLReply
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Mon Nov 12, 2012 - 4:00 pm
I am currently sporting knickers that actually stop just below my tits. The are huge and comfy but have all the sexiness of roadkill.Reply
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