Bloggers are all abuzz about sexual health
Recently, while attending the world's largest blogging conference for women, I found myself wandering aimlessly through the three different Expo Halls of sponsors.
Okay, fine, that's a lie. I wasn't wandering aimlessly. I was on an intense mission to find the booth that was giving out free vibrators.
"Did you get your free vibrator yet?" one of my friends had asked me.
"I heard someone got trampled at the vibrator booth," said another one.
"Oooh, free vibrators? Let's go!" another friend and I agreed.
And so off we went, in search of... free vibrators! (Said in my best Leonard Nimoy impersonation.)
Well, I came to discover (no pun intended) that there were actually TWO different booths dedicated to our pleasure and sexual health.
Naturally, I visited both of them for, you know, research.
One booth was being manned, literally, by a man...a very cute young professional named Ben. He was just chock-full of information about the various vibrator models and how they could be used for solo exploration or couple's play. He used phrases like "intimacy journey" and "romantic experience." There were a few times when I wasn't sure if I was talking to the Trojan rep or auditioning for a spot on The Bachelor, but I wasn't going anywhere. The conversation was, uh, very stimulating. After which, I thanked him, pocketed my free full-sized vibrator (fine...8), and moved along.
The other booth (EdenFantasys...not a typo - that's how it's spelled) had a slightly different approach. It was staffed by two very hip-looking young women who were incredibly easy to talk to and very knowledgeable about how to use the various products. They were giving out free vibrating cock rings and pocket rockets. Honestly, I felt more comfortable asking them "where to put what" than I did asking Ben at the other booth. It's the same reason I have always gone to a female OB/GYN.
I was most fascinated with the model they nicknamed "The Date Night Special." It's a two-piece remote controlled set. I gathered the lady inserts the one piece into her vag and then her partner can activate it at anytime later in the night (perhaps when she least expects it?) via the remote control. But the thing is like $140! Meh, my husband and I do the same thing fo' free on Saturday nights with the vibrating pagers they assign to the people waiting at Buca Di Beppo.
Honestly, I haven't even unpacked from my trip, let alone taken any of my free vibes for a test drive, but I definitely will...eventually. Hey, why not? Vibrators are a fun way to spice up the ol' marriage. It's a proven fact (says Ben.)
Mostly though, I'm just in awe of the business prowess these companies displayed. Those marketing evil-geniuses really know their stuff, sending free vibrators to a blogging conference for 5,000 women. Most of us were away from home, getting swept away by the free swag, and buzzing with enthusiasm about our blogs. Can you say "Target Audience?" Or in other words: Bloggers + Vibrators = PRgasm.